Wednesday Night Was the Bro-iest Night in TV History
http://youtu.be/6uL3SHfllh8
[Editor's Note: To really get the most out of this post, hit play on the video above before you start reading. You're welcome.]
Fact: The holidays are done. If you still have Christmas lights dangling off your roof or, God forbid, a slowly rotting tree standing in the corner of your living room just waiting to catch a whiff of heat from a nearby vent and burst into flames, you should be ashamed of yourself. I love the holidays as much as anyone, but they are over, finished, kaput. Accept it and get on with your life. Besides, now that December has come and gone and we're deep into the dregs of possibly the worst month of the year, that means we finally get new TV shows that don't feature Michael Buble and Miss Piggy singing innuendo-filled holiday songs about interspecies relationships. Gross.
Several shows have made their season debuts over the last couple of weeks, and the good news is many of them are actually not terrible! The bad news is they are now forced to share the airwaves with whatever dreck most of the networks throw on during January to fill the minutes between commercials. Surprisingly, Wednesday has become one of the best viewing nights on TV, especially for comedy fans, and while scrolling through the endless options of things to watch this past Hump Day, I realized it might have been the bro-iest night in TV history. I love me some bro humor, so I look at this as a good thing, but others may see it as the first sign of the coming apocalypse. Either way, get a load of this lineup and tell me we aren't living in the Brolden Age of TV.
Workaholics -- Comedy Central, 10 p.m. ET
Everyone's favorite trio of can't-quite-let-college-go slackers are back with their fifth season of shenanigans, and they are as bro-tastic as ever. There is no show on TV that contains more bro-per-minute; the dudes live in a post-college flop house, drink out of Solo cups, watch porn constantly, expend more energy figuring out how to get out of work than they would put in if they were to simply perform their assigned duties, and, in the immortal words of Nate Dogg (R.I.P), "smoke weed everyday." Every episode contains at least a couple of truly hilarious bro moments, but like a dude nearing 30 who still shows up at college bars, even hardcore fans of the show would probably admit it's past its prime. Hopefully Ders, Blake and Adam will deliver a final season filled with everything bros around the world have come to love about the show, and then go out on top, Brohammed Ali-style.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- FXX, 10 p.m. ET
Few shows have helped define a genre better and longer than Always Sunny has for Bro TV. The Gang are in season ten of their ode to bro-dom, and if the first two episodes of the season are any indication, they haven't lost a step when it comes to delivering biting social commentary in the guise of bros-being-bros humor. This week's episode saw The Gang trying their hand at group dating and other internet-related match-making services, and while Dennis was his usual creepy, uber-bro self, Sweet Dee's behavior may have out-bro'd them all (and, let's be honest, the best episodes usually feature Dee at her slimiest). Like Workaholics, you wouldn't blame the Always Sunny crew for starting to think about life after Philadelphia, but until that day comes, it's hard to imagine any show emerging as a serious contender to their Game of Brones.
Broad City -- Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m. ET
We've written a lot about Broad City on this site lately, but that's because it's a show that anyone who is a fan of comedy -- bro-centric or otherwise -- should be watching religiously. Not only is the show filled with the kind of crass, drug-and-alcohol-soaked humor that every bro loves, it also says a lot about how far we've come as a society that the biggest bros currently on TV are played by two women. The days of dudes claiming sole possession of the bro lifestyle are long gone. Abbi and Ilana, the stars of Broad City, put any other bro duo to shame. They drink, curse, slack, chase tail, and try to stick it to "The Man" as hard as any set of bros in recent memory, and I for one welcome our new female CEBros. If you're a guy and you haven't been watching Broad City because you "don't watch girl shows, dude," get over yourself and get with the brogram.
Wahlburgers -- A&E, 10 p.m. ET
I've never seen a single second of this show, but I'm pretty sure the title tells me everything I need to know. Marky Mark, Donnie "The Bad Boy of NKOTB" Wahlberg and maybe one or two additional Wahlbergs talk to, at and about one another in accents that are dripping with so much Boston-based "swaggah" that Boston natives who used to yell "NOMAH!" at Red Sox's games are all like, "Hey, broh, tohn it dowhn a bit, kid." Also I guess they open a restaurant and sell hamburgers? Who knows. Either way, any show that features Marky Mark, Donnie from the New Kids, and is set in or around Boston has to rate pretty high on the Bro-meter.
Donnie Loves Jenny -- A&E, 10:30 p.m. ET
A&E should change their slogan to: "If it stars a Wahlberg, it's on A&E!" That's right. We now live in a universe where Donnie Wahlberg stars in TWO shows on basic cable (yet Jonathan Knight, the glue that really held NKOTB together, sits at home, staring at his phone, waiting for a network to call and give him just ONE show of his own). And in this one, we get to watch Donnie bro down and romance a lady who used to co-host an MTV dating show but who now crusades against medical science. Again, this is another show I'll never watch, and it's probably not as bro-tastic as some of the other shows that populate the Wednesday night line-up. But if I were a betting man -- and I am -- I'd wager that enough Wahlbergs will cross-over from Wahlburgers to keep the bro levels sufficiently high.
Property Brothers -- HGTV, 9 p.m. ET
If you thought Home and Garden TV was on the outside of the bro craze looking in, you're wrong. They have their own unique spin on the bro genre with Property Brothers. Drew and Jonathan Scott aren't just bros, they are real life brothers (twins, even!) who love to fix up old houses. I mean, it just doesn't get any bro-ier than that. Throw in the fact that, as demonstrated in this short "webisode," they do all sorts of bro-y things like lift wood, eat huge bowls of cereal after waking up around noon, and hit on girls at the gym, and this quaint home remodeling reality show suddenly reveals itself to be right at home on the Wednesday night line-up of Must Bro TV.
@TheSEShepherd
Everyone's favorite trio of can't-quite-let-college-go slackers are back with their fifth season of shenanigans, and they are as bro-tastic as ever. There is no show on TV that contains more bro-per-minute; the dudes live in a post-college flop house, drink out of Solo cups, watch porn constantly, expend more energy figuring out how to get out of work than they would put in if they were to simply perform their assigned duties, and, in the immortal words of Nate Dogg (R.I.P), "smoke weed everyday." Every episode contains at least a couple of truly hilarious bro moments, but like a dude nearing 30 who still shows up at college bars, even hardcore fans of the show would probably admit it's past its prime. Hopefully Ders, Blake and Adam will deliver a final season filled with everything bros around the world have come to love about the show, and then go out on top, Brohammed Ali-style.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- FXX, 10 p.m. ET
Few shows have helped define a genre better and longer than Always Sunny has for Bro TV. The Gang are in season ten of their ode to bro-dom, and if the first two episodes of the season are any indication, they haven't lost a step when it comes to delivering biting social commentary in the guise of bros-being-bros humor. This week's episode saw The Gang trying their hand at group dating and other internet-related match-making services, and while Dennis was his usual creepy, uber-bro self, Sweet Dee's behavior may have out-bro'd them all (and, let's be honest, the best episodes usually feature Dee at her slimiest). Like Workaholics, you wouldn't blame the Always Sunny crew for starting to think about life after Philadelphia, but until that day comes, it's hard to imagine any show emerging as a serious contender to their Game of Brones.
Broad City -- Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m. ET
We've written a lot about Broad City on this site lately, but that's because it's a show that anyone who is a fan of comedy -- bro-centric or otherwise -- should be watching religiously. Not only is the show filled with the kind of crass, drug-and-alcohol-soaked humor that every bro loves, it also says a lot about how far we've come as a society that the biggest bros currently on TV are played by two women. The days of dudes claiming sole possession of the bro lifestyle are long gone. Abbi and Ilana, the stars of Broad City, put any other bro duo to shame. They drink, curse, slack, chase tail, and try to stick it to "The Man" as hard as any set of bros in recent memory, and I for one welcome our new female CEBros. If you're a guy and you haven't been watching Broad City because you "don't watch girl shows, dude," get over yourself and get with the brogram.
Wahlburgers -- A&E, 10 p.m. ET
I've never seen a single second of this show, but I'm pretty sure the title tells me everything I need to know. Marky Mark, Donnie "The Bad Boy of NKOTB" Wahlberg and maybe one or two additional Wahlbergs talk to, at and about one another in accents that are dripping with so much Boston-based "swaggah" that Boston natives who used to yell "NOMAH!" at Red Sox's games are all like, "Hey, broh, tohn it dowhn a bit, kid." Also I guess they open a restaurant and sell hamburgers? Who knows. Either way, any show that features Marky Mark, Donnie from the New Kids, and is set in or around Boston has to rate pretty high on the Bro-meter.
Donnie Loves Jenny -- A&E, 10:30 p.m. ET
A&E should change their slogan to: "If it stars a Wahlberg, it's on A&E!" That's right. We now live in a universe where Donnie Wahlberg stars in TWO shows on basic cable (yet Jonathan Knight, the glue that really held NKOTB together, sits at home, staring at his phone, waiting for a network to call and give him just ONE show of his own). And in this one, we get to watch Donnie bro down and romance a lady who used to co-host an MTV dating show but who now crusades against medical science. Again, this is another show I'll never watch, and it's probably not as bro-tastic as some of the other shows that populate the Wednesday night line-up. But if I were a betting man -- and I am -- I'd wager that enough Wahlbergs will cross-over from Wahlburgers to keep the bro levels sufficiently high.
Property Brothers -- HGTV, 9 p.m. ET
If you thought Home and Garden TV was on the outside of the bro craze looking in, you're wrong. They have their own unique spin on the bro genre with Property Brothers. Drew and Jonathan Scott aren't just bros, they are real life brothers (twins, even!) who love to fix up old houses. I mean, it just doesn't get any bro-ier than that. Throw in the fact that, as demonstrated in this short "webisode," they do all sorts of bro-y things like lift wood, eat huge bowls of cereal after waking up around noon, and hit on girls at the gym, and this quaint home remodeling reality show suddenly reveals itself to be right at home on the Wednesday night line-up of Must Bro TV.
@TheSEShepherd
Discuss This Article
Comments have moved.
Join the conversation and talk about this article and all things Kentucky Sports in the new KSR Message Board.
KSBoard