Welcome to Hell: The Most Excruciating Week of Sports

ksr-today-kentucky-football-players-report-for-fall-camp-basketball-recruiting-updates — Kentucky football at Kroger Field - Dr. Michael Huang, Kentucky Sports Radio

Hello, friends. I’d ask you how your day is going, but that’s a waste of time. I know how it’s going. It’s a Monday. It’s hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell, and you’re still more than a week away from Kentucky football. Welcome to the worst sports week of the calendar year.

You’re probably going to try to argue with me. Don’t waste your breath. I know what’s on Saturday. Will I be excited for five week zero college football games? If the ball is snapped and the whistle is blown, I’m watching. Farmageddon is potentially the best week zero matchup in the history of college football. In addition to the Top 25 game in Ireland, we get to watch Frank Reich lead a hapless Stanford program across the globe in Hawaii against the Rainbow Warriors.

Am I excited that we get some football? Yes. Am I aware that beggars can’t be choosers? I don’t care.

Week Zero is just an appetizer that’s only slightly better than preseason NFL football. We’ve been waiting for months to see the pigskin tossed around the gridiron. Week Zero is a champagne flute of football. I need to funnel football into my body repeatedly.

The time for patience is over. We’ve been doing the preseason song and dance long enough. I can only share my five prepared lines so many more times when someone asks, “How do you think the Cats are going to be this year?”

Get the Daily On3 Newsletter in your inbox every morning

By clicking "Subscribe to Newsletter", I agree to On3's Privacy Notice, Terms, and use of my personal information described therein.

The same applies to the Kentucky football team. If you think I’ve run out of things to say, these guys are tapped out on talking season. They’ve been doing the same thing for weeks, beating their heads against the wall during the dog days of summer, salivating at the opportunity to prove the hard work they put in all offseason can actually turn into results on game day.

Is Zach Calzada going to share who his favorite pass-catcher is? Is Mark Stoops going to finally say he is motivated? Of course not. The Kentucky Wildcats are just trying to reach the fall camp finish line without any hiccups.

What does it leave us with? One more week to prove that we can pass this preseason test. We’ve waited 30 weeks — THIRTY — to welcome college football back. This is the most excruciating part of the test of patience, and frankly, I don’t know if I’m going to make it and still keep my sanity.