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Which Type of Bracketeer Are You?

by: Ally Tucker03/20/14
(Via Someecards.com) Yes, I understand that Bracketeer is not a real word. Neither was swagger, but then Moms starting using it and suddenly it's apparently "real." By the way, a general rule of thumb: If you use the word "Swagger," you probably don't actually have it. Moving on. It's that time of year... you know, the time when you learn way more about New Mexico men's basketball than you ever thought you would-- in hopes that you make the right decision when filling in the lines on your NCAA March Madness Tournament Bracket. Even people who have little or no interest in college basketball throughout the year, or sports in general for that matter, find the process of joining a bracket pool exciting and worthwhile. Bracket contests and pools make the first weekend of the NCAA tournament one of the most thrilling in sports, as all eyes are on the TV all weekend to see which brackets are still in contention after the Sweet 16 is settled. Anyone who has ever had a legitimate chance at winning a pool knows that you have to have a solid crop of teams still alive in your Sweet 16. Those early upset decisions, sometimes only one or two in number, often make or break the contest. The strategies for filling out a bracket though are potentially endless. Some people have it down to what they consider a science, while others study up to find out as much about the teams as possible. And yet some people will use seemingly ridiculous criteria such as who has the better mascot or team colors. The beauty of the tournament's tendency toward randomness is that no single strategy is necessarily better year in and year out than another. Even the random strategies sometimes leave people sitting prettier than the more complicated ones. With that said, which type of "Bracketeer" are you?" Although it's impossible to list every type of strategy people use, here are some of the most common ones that I've seen. Which category do you fall into? Or do you break these molds and have your own strategy? Which types of Bracketeers do you like? Which type do you hate? And you know there's some guy/gal out there who always does _ (insert weird thing here)__ that frustrates the hell out of you. The "All Chalk" Guy/Gal: (Via hooplaha.com) This is the person who sucks the life out of bracket challenges by picking "all chalk," meaning picking the better seed to win in every match-up. This person decides that the odds of the "favorite" winning are generally better across the board, and assumes that more favorites will win than upsets-- avoiding taking any real risk or chances. This strategy almost always ensures that you will not be toward the bottom of the bracket pool rankings, but you also probably won't win either. Something crazy always happens, and the big money/points are earned by the people who correctly pick the few upsets that happen. The "Bracket/Sheet of Integrity" Guy/Gal: This is the person who faithfully completes 1 bracket and 1 bracket only. This person lives or dies by the decisions he or she makes on that sheet of paper. Sometimes this person will submit the SAME bracket into multiple different pools, but never enters more than 1. This person finds it easier to keep track of how the bracket is doing because he/she doesn't have 5-6 different scenarios depending on which bracket is being considered. This person does have a dilemma though, for example, when it comes to what to do with his/her "Favorite Team." Let's say this person's favorite team is Kentucky. While tempted to ride or die with the favorite team, they might also want to be more realistic and have to put a team they don't like knocking out their own team. More careful time and consideration has to be put into each choice, because it's do or die with each decision. The "Bracket 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7" Guy/Gal: This is the person who fills out multiple brackets, often times for the same pool. This person feels as if his/her chances are better because each bracket contains a different scenario, and all bases are covered. This is the person who can't remember if he/she had Team A or Team B winning, and must consult the brackets. "Well, in one of my brackets I need Wichita State to win. But I can't remember if it's the bracket I'm in 5th place with or the bracket I'm in 12th place with." Shhhhhh... No one cares. This is the person who everyone cringes about silently as they read the results and see that "Smith 4" is in 1st place. And 8th place. And 19th place. And 21st place. If you win and filled out multiple brackets, it's kind of like winning the NIT. It's an accomplishment... it's winning something, but no one really wants to see the banner. The "Kentucky wins the national title" no matter what Guy/Gal: It doesn't necessarily have to be Kentucky, but Kentucky felt like a good example. This is the person who has his/her favorite team and will pen/pencil them into the national championship slot faithfully year in and year out-- even if the team has a bad seed and nearly an impossible road ahead. Furthermore, sometimes this person will be... (see below) The "What I want" PLUS the "What I actually think" Guy/Gal: This is the person who fills out exactly 2 brackets. One bracket puts his/her favorite team winning the national championship year in and year out faithfully, while also filling out another bracket with what they "actually think" will happen. One bracket is the bracket they hope for, while the other is the one they would "put money on." This is the only time I will grant an exception for someone filling out more than one bracket. The Hater Guy/Gal: This person will not pick a rival team to win, even if the rival team is so obviously the favorite in a game. This person might literally pick an absurd upset, just to avoid writing the name down of the team they hate/dislike as advancing in the tournament. This person is willing to sacrifice the money in order to maintain his/her pride about rooting against the rival. The Upset Happy Guy/Gal: Unlike the "All Chalk" guy/gal, this person goes a little too overboard on picking the upsets. Instead of picking a few, and rolling the dice that the right ones are picked... this person listens to every single pundit/sports head and pencils in every single upset anyone possibly brings up. While there are always upsets, USUALLY there aren't so many that the bracket is completely flipped upside down. This person picks way too many and usually feels proud about "calling the upset," but also usually doesn't have many Elite 8 and Final 4 teams left when it's all said and done. The Annoying Strategy if they win Guy/Gal: (Via Someecards.com) This is the person who has some ridiculous criteria for picking winners. This is the person who might pick based on mascots, or location, or school colors, or which coach they think is the cutest...or any other number of non-basketball related categories. This person rarely wins, but even if you find out he/she is doing better than you... it's enough to piss you off-- especially if you actually spent any time doing research/actually watching college basketball that year. The WAAAAAYYYYY too much time/effort Guy/Gal: This is the person who takes the whole bracket process WAAAAAY too seriously. You know this guy/gal. He or she pours over the same page, making changes and stressing about each pick for 3-4 days before finally turning in the finished product at the last minute. This person spends way too much time looking up information and listening to every talking head they can before making a final decision. This is usually the kind of person you kind of the hope the "Annoying Strategy Guy/Gal" beats, just because it's kinda funny...   So, which type of Bracketeer are you? Or did I miss anybody out there?

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2025-09-11