What’s Up, Miami Hurricanes Fans … Are U?

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IN THE BEGINNING, CANESPORT CREATED A NEWSLETTER

Are we close enough yet to the Florida State game that I can relay to you the first time I traveled to cover an FSU game in the early 2000s? Gary Ferman generously offered me his private plane to go there, although upon reflection it seemed much more like a no frills commercial aircraft. And while no doubt Mr. Ferman would have put me up at the Tallahassee Ritz-Carlton, the flight up was super early on gameday morning and the flight back was that night. A little known fact: Planes do NOT, in fact, wait for reporters who are trying to file a story before heading to the airport. And back then I’m pretty sure some of the reporters would call in their stories over the phone, perhaps so they could catch the plane (you might think this is a joke, but it’s not). Anyway, back to my one lasting memory from that first trip to Doak Campbell Amusement Park. And no, I don’t even remember who won or what happened. What I do remember: As I was walking toward the stadium a pickup truck slowly drove by with a bunch of FSU fans in the back. And they had lined the back of the pickup with plastic, filled it with water and bubbles and were just splashing around. As I looked closer, I noticed Mr. Ferman in there with them. True story. Well, most of it.

EAT, PRAY, LOVE THE HURRICANES

This is the part of the morning feature where I am forced against my will to PUT IN A PROMO FOR JOINING CANESPORT. At least I don’t have to mention Modelo beer as our Good Morning CaneSport sponsor, thankfully. And I don’t have to bring up how Modelo has an Aguas Frescas line that is deliciously described as “from the street markets of Mexico.” You would think I’m making that up, but I am not. And, just like those famous cheap street markets in Mexico, it will cost very few pesos to get CaneSport subscription. Yes, a sub is just 18 Mexican Pesos for the first week! Oh and it includes an annual subscription to the The Athletic. Plus if you subscribe today we will throw in free viewing of our Good Morning CaneSport Show on YouTube … forever! Or as long as it lasts, which may only be another week depending if Miami wins at Doak Campbell Amusement Park.

HEADLINES OF THE DAY

Look, there’s just nothing going on today with a bye weekend upon us. I’m kidding, of course. We have TONS of news for you!!! I mean, there’s a government shutdown coming, inflation keeps going up and my son is moving to Chicago! You can read all about that not on CaneSport. If you want to read things that are on CaneSport? Well we’ve got AI bots Stephen and Luke going full steam with recruiting news as they continue to catch up with top recruits who were on hand for the massive win over Florida. Gary Ferman makes his case for why Rueben Bain’s Heisman candidacy could catch fire … and for once, it seems, Mr. Ferman may be right. Oh, and I’ll tease a column I’m writing right now for tomorrow with ideas on how to spend your Saturday bye. I can neither confirm nor deny that one of the headline ideas is to “Pretend it’s still Miami Hurricanes gameday,” with step by step instructions on just how to do that.

AND NOW … A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR

Today’s sponsor is, obviously, Modelo Beer! And not because they sponsor Good Morning CaneSport or because I am being forced to mention them today. They are today’s “What’s Up, Miami Hurricanes Fans … Are U?” sponsor because every single Miami Hurricanes player does a Modelo keg stand an hour before the game. As Modelo says on its site: “A keg stand with this beer will not only make you run better but also tackle harder, because the way you run will be unpredictable for opponents with a slight staggering and unsteady gait … and you are assured at least one hard tackle to the ground since a Modelo keg stand is 100 percent assured to cause a faceplant.” Plus you know Modelo is a “real” beer and not one of those loser beers like (insert every other beer in the world here) because when you go to their website you have to put in your date of birth before you can even see the names of their different brews. Sorry sub-21 year olds, no way I can think of around that one. Oh, and Corey Hetheman has nothing on Modelo with his ESV. Because Modelo has an awesome Miami acronym `CANE‘ with their different drink brands (“Chelada,” “Agua Fresca,” “Negra” and “Especial.”).

MATT’S CANESPORT MESSAGE BOARD VICTIM OF THE DAY

Today’s MCMBVOTD is message board legend honeyiv, who only posts in the wee hours of the morning after spending time at the Modelo brewery. As the saying goes, “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” So here is one of Mr. IV’s recent posts that was logged at 2:20 a.m. – “Gary. Hypothetical … If I had a disagreement with Markel Bell at Pizza Hut or something, I think I can actually take him.” First of all, no one at all responded to it, and the thread wound up with minus-four clicks. It seems clear that IV has had several Pizza Hut encounters that have gone very poorly, so at this point we’re going switch gears and point out that Modelo Chelada is “made with refreshing flavors and spices.” You had me at Flavors. Spices? Not so much. Unless you’re going to line the back of “Gary’s” pickup with plastic and fill it up with some delicious, spicy Modelo’s.

DISCLAIMER: All names in this story have been changed to protect privacy, and most of what you just read was completely made up but some of it could have a basis in real or historical fiction

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