Musings from Arledge: Giving Superman Some Help

Kids, gather ‘round. Listen up. I have a story to tell. I know you’re all very excited that it’s almost time for another USC football season. You should be excited! I’m excited, too! There’s nothing like the Grey Lady on a chilly Saturday evening in November.

But I want to tell you about the way it used to be, back many years ago, back in the days when a bald-headed tyrant stole the joy out of the game. It was a time when USC football was considered torture, when the Geneva Convention temporarily made it a war crime to show a USC football game to prisoners of war. A time when finishing a USC game on television was the ultimate test of endurance and mental toughness, a challenge so great that David Goggins would routinely tap out early in the third quarter.  

No, don’t cry. I’m not telling you this to scare you. I’m telling you so you’ll never forget to be thankful. In the days of Pete the Good, people got tired of winning. Yes, I’m serious about that. USC would go 12-1 and USC fans would get angry and throw tantrums. Losing challenges your character. But so does winning in a way. 

I don’t want to see anything like that this year. USC will be good, probably very good. And I want you to appreciate it. No, I’m not saying USC will win every game. Winning every game is hard, and you need to understand that. Pete the Good only did it once. Even the biggest cheaters in the SEC will lose games. If USC is going to win every game, it’s going to need to catch some breaks. And there are certain things that must happen, otherwise, there’s just no chance. Let’s talk about some of those.

We know USC has Superman, and we know what he’s going to do. He’s like Criss Angel with even more nail polish except all of Superman’s tricks are real. He’s going to run around and throw the ball and deposit checks and make commercials and make people miss and score more than Motley Crue in the 80’s. And nobody will be able to do anything about it. Not the guys who wear green, not the guys who should wear green but wear all of the other colors instead, and certainly not the guys who wear powder blue. They will all stand slack-jawed in amazement, looking like Son of O Line Coach after USC’s eighth-consecutive holding penalty. And they will cry. And their women will cry. And the Pac-12 officials will cry. And we will cry. But we’ll cry because we’re happy—manly tears! tears of joy!—because we know it’s beautiful and we may never again see anything else quite like it.

But even Superman needs a little help from his friends. He has many friends who are fleet of foot. But if Superman and his friends are going to defeat all of their enemies, those friends need to help him in a couple of very important ways. 

First, they need to keep him safe. Nobody should be allowed to hit Superman. Ever. And I know that sometimes it seems impossible to hit Superman. But it’s not. It’s hard to do, but it can happen. And it must never happen. Do you remember in the movie when Superman picked up that bus and flew with it? Well, that’s what our Superman does, too. All of the USC players get in the bus, and Superman picks it up, and he flies to the other side of the field, where he puts it down in the end zone safely. It’s awesome to watch. And lucrative to do. Well, just imagine that while Superman is doing that, somebody comes in and cheap shots Superman in the knee. That’s bad, right? Yes, you should be crying now. That’s the appropriate response to that story. USC has a lot of offensive linemen to protect Superman. They have size. They have experience. They have a great position coach. But they must get it done, especially at left tackle, the most unproven spot on the team. There is no natural left tackle on the team, and the guy slotted to play that spot is a big, strong, experienced guy—a good player—but one who hasn’t played left tackle before. I think this offensive line will be good. But that’s the position to keep an eye on. 

Superman’s friends also need to run the ball and run it consistently. We know Superman will throw it a lot and that he’ll throw it well. We know that Superman has lots of guys to throw the ball to. He has a lot of friends coming back again this year, and Superman has two new friends who will scare the bad men really badly: Duce the Tall and Zach the Flash. Those two will play, because they have rare physical skills. They’re not just blue-chippers. Not just five stars. They are freaks of nature. And they will play and play early. 

But USC needs to be able to run the ball. Not just against bad teams. Not just when teams are expecting pass. USC must be able to run the ball when everybody knows they want to run the ball. On third and 2. With four minutes left and a touchdown lead. At the goal line. No matter how good you are, you are going to play some close games, especially on the road. And nothing makes winning on the road easier than being able to run the ball whenever you want. USC ran the ball well last year. They need to be better this year. The offensive line’s ability to take pressure off of Caleb Williams is a key factor in the season. 

Yes, USC’s offense will be great. We know this. They will score lots and lots of points. But there will be some close games, and in those close games, that offensive line needs to take control. Being unable to run the ball against everybody in every situation is one of the primary keys to going undefeated. It’s been a long time since USC could do that. They need to do it this year.

Yes, kids, you’re right: I’m talking about the wrong guys. For USC to go undefeated, Superman needs help from his other friends, the ones who weren’t very good friends last year. 

USC needs them to tackle. Remember last year, kids, when you asked me if the USC players were allergic to the guy with the football? Well, they weren’t. They didn’t have peanut allergies. They weren’t running from a kid with a Snickers bar. It just looked like that sometimes, because they didn’t know how to knock down the guy with the ball. And sometimes you have to be able to knock somebody down—no, I don’t care what that guy with the pony tail outside the vegan restaurant says. He doesn’t know anything. Knocking people down is sometimes necessary and, under the right circumstances, fun, too.

The USC guys are bigger and stronger this year. That’s good. But we still need to see whether they’ll be able to tackle. Size and strength help. But tackling is about positioning—if you’re late to the spot, you’ll be reaching for the ballcarrier instead of driving through him—and effort. Tackling hurts. You have to want to tackle. And there were times in years past where some of USC’s defenders didn’t look like they wanted to. Alex Grinch’s job is to find 11 guys who want to tackle and aren’t afraid to sacrifice their bodies to do it.

USC also needs to pressure the quarterback and get him off his spot. This is the Pac-12. It’s a garbage conference, kids. We all know that. Remember that time we went to that circus in the grocery store parking lot and all those clowns were running around doing silly things only it wasn’t funny? That’s what the Pac-12 is like. But there is one thing that these clowns can do, and that’s throw the football. Last year USC couldn’t trust its defensive front seven to get to the quarterback, so they had to gamble all the time—moving guys out of position, stunting, doing whatever they could to engineer pressure. Those big risks sometimes paid off with sacks—and one shocking and very important interception—but they often resulted in huge, ugly, hard-to-watch, big plays. That can’t continue. USC needs to be able to win one-on-one matchups upfront. It has guys that look the part. It has guys who have played well at other places. It has guys with NFL bodies. But it needs guys who can get off blocks and pressure the quarterback without blitzing, without stunting, without putting the secondary at risk. 

And USC must stop the run. USC gave up 4.98 yards a carry last year. That’s embarrassing. It’s unacceptable. There were times when opposing running backs—even the ones on the horrible teams—had holes five yards wide. It was bad. Some of that was execution. Some of it was schematic; USC played aggressively and would get caught in bad positions at times. It’s impossible to imagine things being as bad this year. USC is so much bigger and more athletic up front. USC is so much faster and deeper at linebacker. Things will be better. How much better is the question. And iit may be the question that decides the season. It’s impossible to be a great team if you can’t stop the run. Other than keeping you-know-who from getting you-know-what, the primary key to this season is whether USC can become a solid run defense.

Get ready for a big year, kids. USC was much improved last year. But they weren’t back. USC is back when it can compete with the very best. I think USC will be able to compete with the very best this year. The Trojans won’t have Georgia’s defensive talent. But Georgia won’t have USC’s offensive talent, or the best offensive coach in college football. It’s a brutal schedule, and it will not be easy. But this team has a chance to make a run.

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Speaking of making a run, and I mean a bank run, how ‘bout them Volunteers? 

Let me see if I have this right. Tennessee was paying dozens of players—its head coach was directly paying players—but there was no lack of institutional control? This wasn’t a rogue booster operating in the dark. It wasn’t one player shopping around for a pay day. It was intentional cheating by the guy in charge of the program. The boss. The CEO. It’s absurd to suggest that a head coach can engage in major cheating and the institution not be responsible. When the guy in charge does it, the institution is doing it.

I’m growing tired of talking about the NCAA. It’s a bad joke of an organization. It sets rules designed solely to keep some of the people generating billions of dollars from seeing any of it, and it’s unable even to enforce those rules consistently, fairly, and in good faith. Tennessee is being penalized, as they should be. But even all these years later—14 years, I think—I just can’t get over the unfairness of Paul Dee and that criminal committee making up evidence to destroy USC. 

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Still no TV deal, Pac 12? Huh. I wonder if you’d have a TV deal if USC were still in the conference? I’m thinking yes. Should have considered that earlier.

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