A bit of a challenge

[ETK99]

1. Has anyone ever seen a faucet in a shower like this?
2. Are you lying?
3. No pics of your peckers in said shower if you have a faucet like that! (I figured disclaimer required here.

I've tried AI and photo searches and find nothing. Plumbing places all say WTH!!
Renovating a house and will probably just have it replumbed but it's odd.

 

[AttillaTheDog]

The handle in the back operates the drain plug, the one in front changes water flow from shower head to faucet. Pull up shower head and push down for faucet.

 

[ETK99]

The handle in the back operates the drain plug, the one in front changes water flow from shower head to faucet. Pull up shower head and push down for faucet.

The one in back controls the water flow and hot/cold

 

[Baddog11]

The grandparents house special. Tried and true model. Probably helped bring you into existence somewhere along the line. Study it

 

[AttillaTheDog]

The one in back controls the water flow and hot/cold

Well it was 50 years ago in our house, i was close

 

[ZombieKissinger]

Looks like you’re trying to take a bath on the maternity ward of a 1950s asylum

 

[The Cooterpoot]

IDE- Imperial Destroyer Enema

 

[Crazy Cotton]

Very Art Deco, looks like a giant hunk of brass underneath that chrome cap. I'd be worried about the lead pipes this thing is probably attached to.

 

[RocketDawg]

Looks like you have very hard water. You can clean that up a little with 0000 steel wool, used dry. CLR or Lime Away beforehand if needed.

I've never seen a shower control like that. Looks like it really belongs in a kitchen. I was in a hotel once, I think in San Jose, Calif, and it had the craziest control spout I've ever seen. It felt like you were taking it apart in order to take a shower. Others with me on the same trip had similar comments. You'd think the simpler the better.