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A SixPack Tradition - mocking a post from another board - Am I 17'ed?...

dawgstudent

dawgstudent

Heisman
Apr 15, 2003
39,262
18,420
113
<div> I was woken up last night by my wife. She was doing the laundry and found a cupcake wrapper in the washing machine.

She has a job in which she works the grave yard shift and it's one of those jobs (nurse) where she cannot leave, so all the girls she works with have men who claim to be diabetic but really aren't. And they have spent the better part of the last year trying to convince her I am not diabetic.

Now I swear on a stack of bibles that the wrapper is not mine. I have never touched a non sugar free cupcake since we've been together. The only thing I can figure is the wrapper belonged to HD6 and he put in my pocket at the JSU tailgate. That fat bastard.

But what am I suppose to do?!? She told me flat out doesn't believe me. Every woman that I know and trust who I have told the story to says they'd think the exact same thing, in fact most of them say they think I ate a damn cupcake with sugar.
</div>
 
dawgstudent

dawgstudent

Heisman
Apr 15, 2003
39,262
18,420
113
<div> I was woken up last night by my wife. She was doing the laundry and found a cupcake wrapper in the washing machine.

She has a job in which she works the grave yard shift and it's one of those jobs (nurse) where she cannot leave, so all the girls she works with have men who claim to be diabetic but really aren't. And they have spent the better part of the last year trying to convince her I am not diabetic.

Now I swear on a stack of bibles that the wrapper is not mine. I have never touched a non sugar free cupcake since we've been together. The only thing I can figure is the wrapper belonged to HD6 and he put in my pocket at the JSU tailgate. That fat bastard.

But what am I suppose to do?!? She told me flat out doesn't believe me. Every woman that I know and trust who I have told the story to says they'd think the exact same thing, in fact most of them say they think I ate a damn cupcake with sugar.
</div>
 
dawgstudent

dawgstudent

Heisman
Apr 15, 2003
39,262
18,420
113
<div> I was woken up last night by my wife. She was doing the laundry and found a cupcake wrapper in the washing machine.

She has a job in which she works the grave yard shift and it's one of those jobs (nurse) where she cannot leave, so all the girls she works with have men who claim to be diabetic but really aren't. And they have spent the better part of the last year trying to convince her I am not diabetic.

Now I swear on a stack of bibles that the wrapper is not mine. I have never touched a non sugar free cupcake since we've been together. The only thing I can figure is the wrapper belonged to HD6 and he put in my pocket at the JSU tailgate. That fat bastard.

But what am I suppose to do?!? She told me flat out doesn't believe me. Every woman that I know and trust who I have told the story to says they'd think the exact same thing, in fact most of them say they think I ate a damn cupcake with sugar.
</div>
 
H

Hair of the Dawg

Redshirt
Nov 20, 2005
467
0
0
I will show up at your tailgate at the LSU game with blood test results showing you are not diabetic. Little will she know but they will actually be my results.

I will then claim it was all a joke and I put the wrapper in your pocket. You can then hit me in the face with a Whipcream Pie.
 
benatmsu

benatmsu

Junior
May 28, 2007
2,398
223
63
But maybe, just maybe she is trying to set you up. Maybe she really ate the cupcake and planted the wrapper in there... you know just to see if you would admit to something. Does she know about your ginormous stash of internet cupcake recipes you have downloaded on your laptop? What you need to do is: you just need to get really pissed at her. Make her think you know that she knows it's not your cupcake wrapper. Then yell at her about it... Either way, your marriage is effed.
 
F

Faustdog

All-Conference
Jun 4, 2007
3,925
2,136
113
And you've really got to get mad about it. I mean don't take no **** off that ho.

Take it from me, I'm working on my seventh divorce.
 
H

Hair of the Dawg

Redshirt
Nov 20, 2005
467
0
0
Maybe her and some doctor are having late night pot luck suppers? Crazy **** happens in the nursing home, not Greyesque type stuff, but still crazy.

Ever think about that? </p>
 
M

msubullie4life

Redshirt
Jun 4, 2007
682
0
0
Because only a dubmass would leave a cupcake wrapper in the pocket after eating it. If your wife believes you to be semi intelligent then it could be be your saving grace. The old, "What kind of dumbass would I have to be to leave a cupcake wrapper in my pocket? Believe you me, I would have enough sense to throw that 17er in a garbage bin on the street somewhere" argument. This of course should be followed up with declarations of eternal love only for her and not for cupcakes and an infinite number of assurances that being the smart fella you are, you also know how good you have it and only an idiot would cheat on her by eating cupcakes. If however, she doesn't hold you in the highest regard intelligence wise then yes, you may well be 17ed. At this point, my advice would be to cry. Cry huge, girly crocodile tears swearing to your innocence and your love for her. I'm a sucker for a man who can cry during certain life moments, and this would definitely qualify as one of those times. Good luck.

Disclaimer: Stolen from msbelle96 at NAFOOM

Edited for dubmass spelling and 17s
 
L

lowbird

Redshirt
Mar 30, 2009
403
0
0
Does the cup cake wrapper have an expiration date on it? Do you and the wife live in an apartment, duplex, dorm, or extended stay hotel? Is the washing machine a front loader?
 
M

msubullie4life

Redshirt
Jun 4, 2007
682
0
0
The serial number on the cupcake wrapper might be able to acquit DS of any wrongdoing and put the blame squarely on HD6 or some other fat bastard. But if the serial number matches to be in the near past, then DS is 17ed for sure.
 
C

Coach34

Redshirt
Jul 20, 2012
20,283
1
0
even if you had icing around your mouth, always deny. But there is little hope after this, she has some issues and is never going to really trust you ever again
 
J

JohnDawg

Redshirt
Sep 1, 2006
2,510
0
36
He could have left a cupcake in his pocket and threw his pants in the washer a long time ago and the wrapper got lodged in the washing machine.
 
D

Dawg in a pile

Redshirt
Feb 27, 2008
563
0
0
I am thinking this is a set up to see how you would react.

Edit to say I just happen to be the 332nd person to post that I think she's setting you up without reading any of the other replies in the thread.
 
L

Lion O

Redshirt
Jul 31, 2009
473
0
0
I'm really sorry for you, and I'mma let you finish, but the Cookie Monster had the best sweet tooth OF ALL TIME.



 
Dawgpile

Dawgpile

Senior
May 23, 2006
2,361
871
113
She ought to be glad you had the good sense to eat a cupcake that had a wrapper.

God knows what kind of diseases you could have brought home eating those ***** cupcakes without one.
 
O

Original48

Redshirt
Aug 9, 2007
3,322
0
0
I bet one did..and they had cupcakes for dessert . Or it could have been somebody's birthday and she obtained the wrapper from that. Either way, she is definitley trying to set you up. She doesn't trust you, plain and simple. Her friends have turned her against you for no other reason than bitterness due to the fact that all their husbands eat cupcakes. Just divorce her now. She's nuts. Then get one of her nurse friends drunk and take advantage of her. Get photos of you licking cupcake icing off her *** and mail them to your ex wife.
 
GloryDawg

GloryDawg

Heisman
Mar 3, 2005
18,933
14,822
113
If you were taking care of business in bed this and nothing else you did would ever matter, but since obiously that's not the case, I say blame it on the Marine at the office.
 
Bdog9090

Bdog9090

Redshirt
Aug 11, 2008
977
4
18
because the cupcakes you eat don't have wrappers. When you cheat on her with cupcakes, you don't use wrappers.
 
H

Hanmudog

Redshirt
Apr 30, 2006
5,853
0
0
About a guy who got strawberry cupcake icing in his pubes and didn't know it after eating a cupcake while taking a dump. Later that day his wife who only makes chocolate cupcakes saw it while he was changing clothes. Man was she pissed.
Imagine that. Two types of cupcakes in one day.
 
beachbumdawg

beachbumdawg

Senior
Nov 28, 2006
2,908
693
113
because we all know you only like those chocolate cupcakes and not the vanilla ones since eating your first chocolate cupcake......</p>
 
D

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
15,751
2,545
113
you saw Coach Salmon the other day and while he was in the middle of a screaming session about you being a "hog ***" and not wanting to go run the hill by St. Al with him, he must have slipped the wrapper into your pocket.
 
D

diehard4dawgs

Redshirt
May 23, 2006
402
0
0
At the sixpack tailgate for the LSU game, I say that we have nothing but cupcakes to eat. I'll then ask her if she found anything interesting in the laundry, and tell her that i stuck my used wrapper to your back. You will have to get really pissed off and kick my ***, or get your *** kicked trying. After a month or so, you can both forgive me. Disclaimer: this will BLOW UP on you if she is just testing you by planting the wrapper in the laundry.
 
U

UpTheMiddlex3Punt

All-Conference
May 28, 2007
17,941
3,898
113
You can always claim the wrapper is old and not yours if there's mold on it or if the crumbs on it are stale. And if she claimed she found it in the washing machine, you should run a cupcake wrapper through the washing machine and compare how they look.
 
D

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
15,751
2,545
113
what in the hell is going on with his extremely shiny eye lids? did the diabeetus cause that? if so, DS you need to keep the lights on or you are definitely 17'd.
 
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