Annoying stuff your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend does

[KingOfBBN]

Reality TV. I truly believe it ended my marriage. Not that it was a bad thing.

[laughing]

This is where I don't understand the female mind. Why do you want to watch so much trash TV filled with so many insane angry and overly dramatic women? Isn't that stressful? I can't even be in the room with that stuff.

She'll bust my chops occasionally for watching Trailer Park Boys to laugh but she will watch The Bachelorette and used to watch all of those Housewives shows.

 

[KingOfBBN]

GD Facebook and all the damn handwringing it causes, worrying about somebody else's fake wonderful life.

One of my former friend's wife was so crazy obsessed and jealous over Facebook posts.

Facebook is awful but people only put the good stuff up there. No one is going to post awful pictures and how ****** their day was so no reason to spend a second worrying over it..

 

[jockstrap_mcgee]

My wife does nothing at all annoying. Nothing. At. All.

(looks over shoulder)

She gone?

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

My wife could sit at a restaurant holding her menu for 3 days and she still would be surprised when the waiter comes to take her order and do a "uh..... wait.... you go.... oh..... you already ordered? okay.... hmmm.... let me get uh.... where on here are the salads?"

Every freaking time man. And I noticed her mom does it too so it's genetic. I swear if my kids start pulling that crap we just won't go out to eat anymore.

That's the worst because at Cracker Barrel, if they are busy, it will be 4 hours before they come back if you are not ready when they ask you the first time.

 

[legalbeagle123]

Women, can't live with 'em, can't collect the benefits if the life insurance company finds out you intentionally killed 'em.

 

[joeyrupption]

My wife says "these ones" and "those ones" instead of simply "these" and "those." It drives me insane.

And she'll remind me of mundane, routine tasks (and sub tasks) at inopportune times.

*Watching the climax scene of a Tom Clancy movie*

"Don't forget to cut the grass this weekend... It might rain Sunday... Don't forget that it runs on gas... And don't forget you'll need the use of your arm to pull start it... And you'll have to wear shoes and clothes while outside in public."

Basically every other conversation could be rationally ended with me saying, "No ****."

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

Sleeps every waking moment

Weighs 96 lbs while eating approximately 465 lbs of pure sugar a day.

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

Reality TV. I truly believe it ended my marriage. Not that it was a bad thing.

Best take you've ever had.

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

That's the worst because at Cracker Barrel, if they are busy, it will be 4 hours before they come back if you are not ready when they ask you the first time.

For some reason I can't picture you eating at cracker barrel.

 

[ukalum01]

That's why I've never said a single bad word about my in laws. That and they are extremely nice people. But I won't even agree with her when she gets mad and starting saying bad things about her parents. Just ignore it or say some irrelevant ****.

A simple "like" isn't enough for this post.

 

[starchief]

My wife could sit at a restaurant holding her menu for 3 days and she still would be surprised when the waiter comes to take her order and do a "uh..... wait.... you go.... oh..... you already ordered? okay.... hmmm.... let me get uh.... where on here are the salads?"

Every freaking time man. And I noticed her mom does it too so it's genetic. I swear if my kids start pulling that crap we just won't go out to eat anymore.

That's my wife exactly. If I know the restaurant I don't even pick up the menu. I find a dish I like and get it every time.

 

[anthonys735]

that is so common as to be universal, right? who is in a relationship with a female who does NOT get upset, feel she is having a crisis, & cry while preparing to depart for a trip?

Absolutely.

 

[anthonys735]

-passive aggressive requests at 11pm. If you want me to do something just let me know at a reasonable hour.

-18 junk drawers. Can't toss anything. Pack rat. I'm not the cleanest guy but I purge a few times a year.

-has a crazy ability to determine the last 5 minutes of a movie or show and want to talk about life. This one is uncanny.

-if I ask a question or a favor I get a detailed list of everything she had to do the next 3 days.

-we inevitably fight at the departure time of every vacation. This isn't all her fault but her having me weigh a 50lb suitcase to make sure it's good for flying on a 2 day trip makes my head pulse.

 

[.S&C.]

holy **** women are all the same.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

I was about to post another story about my wife, but then I realized that she did give birth to three of my kids. Plus she does a much better job than I do at making sure the kids stay on a schedule, eat right, don't die, etc. I guess what I'm saying is we should cut them some slack.

 

[.S&C.]

How much would the institution of marriage in America be repaired if women would just turn off the touching lights they turn on, close doors, not fish for arguments/attention, and mind the pocket book?

Seriously. How much?

minimum of 1/4 saved with a shot at 40%

 

[H. Lecter]

Wakes up every day.

 

[PhattyJ4UK_rivals309166]

Obsessively safe. For example, fathers day, take kids to a water park.. I go to take the 1 year old down the smallest slide there. "No no omg no, I don't want her to go under, have you heard about secondary drowning, omg." I proceed to do it, and upon landing, the water does not even go past my anKle.

4th of July, go to buy fireworks, "don't get any that are damgerous" me. Jesus christ...whatever..

After shooting 2, basically bottle rockets, I step inside to get a trash bag...she comes in " okay this must not be a firework neighborhood, 2 neighbors already gave me dirty looks, we're done"

Me: they probably just came to watch, it is just about to turn dark"

Her "no they were dirty looks"

30 seconds later, 3 HUGE cannon fireworks go off, from the same people who "gave her dirty looks"

Me: they were probably just disgusted with our ****** *** wimp fireworks

Her: you ruin everything


Every single month, near the end she will call me and ask about money and will then name every single bill and how much they are and will freak out about money. Never fails.



Don't even get me started on consulting the Internet about any symptom she imagines she has. Them she starts to literally freak out and thinks she's dying of cancer cuz of some blog post made by a total stranger.


This just for starters

 

[dgtatu01]

Sticks dishes in the dishwasher with so much rap on them that not only will the dishwasher not clean them, they will.make everything else dirty.

Spends way too much at the grocery. 90% of everything in the fridge we throw away is something she bought that no one ate. Ditto on the cans and boxed stuff collecting dust in the cabinet. We have a standing rule that she does not go to Costco alone. She agrees with me and does not fight this.

Little gifts for everybody all the time. She gets gifts from people too, but I keep trying to tell her they just feel guilty about you getting them stuff. Stop the cycle.

Dollar Tree, finally got her to quit this one. Would go in and buy cheap crap that cluttered our house up that I would then throw away on one of my 3 month purges.

All in all my wife is pretty awesome, but just like everyone there are some minor annoyances.

 

[Anon1711055878]

My wife says "these ones" and "those ones" instead of simply "these" and "those."

Your wife must be adorable. That's endearing af.

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

"No no omg no, I don't want her to go under, have you heard about secondary drowning, omg."

I don't really know why as I am sure that is a "thing" but I laughed my *** off at that anyway.

 

[Catman100]

Has that $60 and $15 dollar monthly massage and gym membership automatic checkbook deduction and has been to both maybe twice in 2016.

Never has cash. I have to balance the checkbook with numerous $3.49 deductions from her work gift shop.

Still thinks 80's hair is awesome.

Me on the golf course on a weekend afternoon equals her going out and buying $300 worth of worthless ****.

Worst of all, is the absolute worst passenger in a car in relation to dealing with other idiot drivers on the road. Will give dirty looks/throw her hands up/make rude gestures to anybody that doesn't drive perfectly. The next fight I get into will be because some ol boy has had enough of her **** and I will have to deal with him. Will I be at fault if I tell her to fight him?

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

Actually you are going to wind up getting shot if she keeps doing that. Already would have happened if this was SoCal. People don't fight anyone in road rage incidents anymore. Out come the guns.

 

[DSmith21]

My wife has several attractive girlfriends who are lets say sexually adventuresome. I get to hear all the lurid details about their hookups, etc. Yet, my wife never has the decency to invite one over for a three way. [winking]

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

Is this the new wife after you lost the old one due to reality TV?

 

[CardHack]

* Can't believe I haven't read a single account like mine...when we go out for an impromptu dinner with the kids I'll invariably ask where does she want to go and get bombarded with all of the places she DOESN'T want to go.

...and we have already driven by the one she really wanted to go eat.

* This has nearly led to fisticuffs, but I can't tell you how many times--while I'm driving--I have said "Man, I love that song...I can't remember the last time I heard it" and BAM! she proceeds to turn the station.

 

[ky8335]

I enjoyed reading these in Ron White's voice.

 

[UKserialkiller]

I don't really know why as I am sure that is a "thing" but I laughed my *** off at that anyway.

I laughed too.

"But Phatty, there's smog in that oxygen. They'll get COPD"

 

[starchief]

Obsessively safe. For example, fathers day, take kids to a water park.. I go to take the 1 year old down the smallest slide there. "No no omg no, I don't want her to go under, have you heard about secondary drowning, omg." I proceed to do it, and upon landing, the water does not even go past my anKle.

4th of July, go to buy fireworks, "don't get any that are damgerous" me. Jesus christ...whatever..

After shooting 2, basically bottle rockets, I step inside to get a trash bag...she comes in " okay this must not be a firework neighborhood, 2 neighbors already gave me dirty looks, we're done"

Me: they probably just came to watch, it is just about to turn dark"

Her "no they were dirty looks"

30 seconds later, 3 HUGE cannon fireworks go off, from the same people who "gave her dirty looks"

Me: they were probably just disgusted with our ****** *** wimp fireworks

Her: you ruin everything


Every single month, near the end she will call me and ask about money and will then name every single bill and how much they are and will freak out about money. Never fails.



Don't even get me started on consulting the Internet about any symptom she imagines she has. Them she starts to literally freak out and thinks she's dying of cancer cuz of some blog post made by a total stranger.


This just for starters

Winner so far, by a small margin among some great ones. I've laughed out loud all through this thread.

If those were starters I want you to reload.

 

[starchief]

For some reason I can't picture you eating at cracker barrel.

The mighty Z exposed at last. Riff raff just like the rest of us. Maybe worse. CB has gotten so bad recently that even I won't eat there anymore.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Sleeps every waking moment

Weighs 96 lbs while eating approximately 465 lbs of pure sugar a day.

Are you married to a Gremlin? [laughing]

 

[KingOfBBN]

Obsessively safe. For example, fathers day, take kids to a water park.. I go to take the 1 year old down the smallest slide there. "No no omg no, I don't want her to go under, have you heard about secondary drowning, omg." I proceed to do it, and upon landing, the water does not even go past my anKle.

Don't even get me started on consulting the Internet about any symptom she imagines she has. Them she starts to literally freak out and thinks she's dying of cancer cuz of some blog post made by a total stranger.


This just for starters

Preaching to the choir on these two. The medical one drives me nuts. I've told her a million times to stop googling all of this BS about medical stuff. All it does is freak her out when it's nothing and wastes a trip to the doctor. Time after time!

The secondary drowning thing must be one of those typical "I saw this on a shared facebook post so now I will let it consume me" type things.

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

The mighty Z exposed at last. Riff raff just like the rest of us. Maybe worse. CB has gotten so bad recently that even I won't eat there anymore.

Pancakes, fool. Pancakes. They have the very best.

 

[PhattyJ4UK_rivals309166]

Winner so far, by a small margin among some great ones. I've laughed out loud all through this thread.

If those were starters I want you to reload.

A huge one that bugs the absolute crap out of me.. we will be in the car for 30 minutes going somewhere on a schedule. She will sit there the whole time and do absolutely nothing. When we finally pull up and park, she decides to do some random *** crap thus delaying exiting another 5 minutes.


Daughter(turns 1 tomorrow) wakes up damn near every night. 95% of the time, I get up and take 5 minutes to rock her back to sleep. On the rare occurrence she does, she's so damn lazy thst she just puts her in our bed.
Nevermind the fact that she used to drastically complain every day about my son sleeping in the bed with us. So I learned, adapted and vowed to never have the baby sleep in the bed so she wouldn't get used to it.

 

[joeyrupption]

"No no omg no, I don't want her to go under, have you heard about secondary drowning, omg."

My wife is also a big "secondary drowning-head."

Two weeks ago she let our fifteen-month-old dunk his head head over the edge of a baby pool while she was "watching" him.

I've had the upper hand parenting-dynamic for a while on that one.

Also, I took him through swim lessons at six months, so he is pretty OK with dunkings, TBH.

 

[cricket3]

So they think a child can die of secondary drowning just from their head going underwater?

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to it than that.

 

[joeyrupption]

So they think a child can die of secondary drowning just from their head going underwater?

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to it than that.

It would be immediate, "dry drowning." Which can happen from dunking. "It only takes a teaspoon!"

 

[starchief]

Pancakes, fool. Pancakes. They have the very best.

The old "I just ate the pancakes" ruse. That ranks up there with the old "Yeah, I stopped at a bar for a couple minutes for a glass of milk." Or, "yeah, I've smoked weed lots of times but I never inhaled."

Common riff raff I say.

 

[BradentonCatFan]

Leaves her makeup on the counter or wherever she puts it on.

Says "come here for a second," usually for something I don't need to "come here" for. When I respond, "what is it?" She responds, "just come here." It's never important.

When she's the passenger while I drive and I have to make an abrupt stop or a "dangerous" maneuver, she'll throw her foot into the dash and hand onto the roof. Makes me so mad.

 

[Elbridge]

She complains about us not doing something after the occasion while not asking me ahead of time if I would be interested in going or doing whatever it was that SHE wanted to do.