With apologies to anyone that has ever had to deal with colon cancer (my grandmother had it), I have had the thing for a couple weeks and have come to realize that I would rather die of colon cancer than **** in a box. I finally just threw it away.
Another unpopular opinion-Cologuard
- Thread starter Glenn's Take
- Start date
Craptacular take, Gle
/n.
I originally thought the thread title was about Colorguard, and was looking forward to some exciting pics of flag-wielding colorguard maidens.
/n.I originally thought the thread title was about Colorguard, and was looking forward to some exciting pics of flag-wielding colorguard maidens.
So tight he won't even give his **** away.
My dad is a 15 year colon cancer survivor.
I like to listen to Jazz and Classical music on TuneIn at work to have background music. I’m too cheap to splurge on TuneIn Premium so I have to endure their online ads. Lately the Cologard ad is getting heavy airplay, so after the second or third time I hear it I mute my computer.
I consider myself to be at risk due to family history, so in light of their disclaimer about family history I don’t intend to use it. Thanks for sharing your experience however.
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< - - - Colon cancer survivor, stage 2B.
Believe it or not, I had no idea about Cologuard until my ex-wife mentioned it about 2 years ago.
Believe it or not, I had no idea about Cologuard until my ex-wife mentioned it about 2 years ago.
Is it instead of a colonoscopy? If so I think I’d prefer shitting in a box. I would imagine being a worker in their factory would be a wonderful job as well.
Having a colonoscopy is nothing. Having a prostate biopsy without going under is the worst experience ever.
Can't they tell now just with taking blood samples? Not sure but I thought this was the way they do it now.
Edited: I Know my doctor said it can be done. Below is an excerpt from an article I read.
"Detecting colon cancer with blood alone may have been an impossibility just a few years ago, but new developments are starting to suggest otherwise. Can blood tests diagnose colon cancer? A new discovery suggests that it may be possible by identifying circulating tumor cells in the blood."
Edited: I Know my doctor said it can be done. Below is an excerpt from an article I read.
"Detecting colon cancer with blood alone may have been an impossibility just a few years ago, but new developments are starting to suggest otherwise. Can blood tests diagnose colon cancer? A new discovery suggests that it may be possible by identifying circulating tumor cells in the blood."
No, according to their ad (which I have heard numerous times), you are supposed to undergo a colonoscopy after the indication of a positive test. I honestly don’t know if it’s an at-home diagnostic test (but I think it is), or if you’re supposed to send in the sample for testing.
Yes. For lower-risk peeps. No family history for me. I crapped in the box. My wife drove it to the UPS store. They test in their lab. You get results. All is well.
Much better than a colonoscopy.
Too many false negatives with Cologuard. I waited for colonoscopy to be sure. Had to remove my head from my *** before the procedure.
Cologuard only catches 42% of large polyps whereas Colonoscopy catches 95%. I did Cologuard 2 years but may do colonoscopy next year. Also, I have BCBS and wasn't covered by Obamacare, so I got a $ 600 bill for the Cologuard test.
****** take Glen(nnnnnn). Crapping in the box is better than having a camera shoved up your *** after a horrible day of laxative induced diarrhea. Man up and do one of the tests for your family's sake.
Wait, wtf is that? Do you not have the option of being put under? I have a sneaking suspicion about a visit I have this week.
Colonoscopies are fun (minus the prep). Get super high for about 8 seconds, take a nice nap, wake up remembering nothing, be ENCOURAGED to fart, and sleep all day.
Having an EGD and a colonoscopy during the same procedure is a joy. I just told them to please do the EGD first, as I did not trust them to get the scope clean after the colonoscopy.
NOTHING replaces a colonoscopy. Don't be stupid about putting off the scope if you are 45 (new age)
+1. Totally agree.
10 years ago, I began throwing up non-stop. I threw up so violently that my appendix burst. Wife took me to emergency room. Doctors ran tests. Endured 3 surgeries over 36 hours. During third surgery, doctor performed a resection. I've been fine since. Declined chemo. Have had two colonoscopy procedures since. Due for another soon.
I am 59....latest had a couple of benign polyps taken but doc wants me back in 3 yrs just to make sure they didn't have any evil twins growing that may pop up. Had an internal roid burned off too which was worth the trip...lol.
Before the first biopsy the doctor said I didn't have to go under because it would only take about 15 minutes, wasn't too much discomfort and that I could then drive myself home. Well, it took longer than 15 minutes because I was a terrible patient and couldn't relax. I felt like I was being raped. And the drive home was very bizarre in an almost shameful sort of way. Needless to say, the second biopsy they had to do, I went under.
The drugs they use to put me under were “almost worth” the cleansing process.
I'm all for this sort of stuff. I'm sure it's not really nailed down yet, but I have to imagine something like this will only become more accurate. Any time I can send my blood/poop/urine/**** to a lab so they can diagnose me... sign me up.
I mean, think of how many men don't go get their prostate checked, just because of the discomfort and pain. I'll gladly pay for something like this. Could save thousands of lives, and also likely save money on expensive treatment down the road.
I mean, think of how many men don't go get their prostate checked, just because of the discomfort and pain. I'll gladly pay for something like this. Could save thousands of lives, and also likely save money on expensive treatment down the road.
I just did the regular colonoscopy at 50 as recommended I guess but was clean as a whistle. Doc said no family history so you good come back in 10 years if you want but you are good. 2 years later my mother went in had colon cancer , they removed about a foot of her colon and took out 18 lymph nodes tested all them, no cancerous signatures in any of those but now I’m under the umbrella of colon cancer so I have to go back to get plugged every 5 years 
This is currently being studied, but it hasn't been approved for use yet. There's an ongoing study right now at my local hospital for this.
I've had to have several colonoscopies over the years. In the first one, they gave me the "twilight sedation" (a combo of fentanyl and versed). This puts you mostly out, but you can still respond to commands and maybe even talk a little, though you'll likely have no memory of any of it.
Apparently during the procedure I was in a lot of pain and I threatened to punch the doctor in the f*cking face if he didn't stop immediately. When I woke up - with no memory of any of this - they told me that they had to stop the procedure before finishing. The nurses told me what happened and thought it was hilarious. I was pretty embarrassed but laugh about it now.
From then on I've had to get stronger anesthesia for my scopes.
Apparently during the procedure I was in a lot of pain and I threatened to punch the doctor in the f*cking face if he didn't stop immediately. When I woke up - with no memory of any of this - they told me that they had to stop the procedure before finishing. The nurses told me what happened and thought it was hilarious. I was pretty embarrassed but laugh about it now.
From then on I've had to get stronger anesthesia for my scopes.
I learn each year how my prostate is doing through my bloodwork at the physical. MY PSA is around .7 and steady. No pain or discomfort in giving blood each year!
Doc: “He’s clean as a whistle.”
Wife “He probably farted himself clean.”
I may opt for Cologuard next time.
She wasn’t wrong, though.
Wife “He probably farted himself clean.”
I may opt for Cologuard next time.
She wasn’t wrong, though.
Indeed. Must agree. Prep is the worst part about the whole procedure. What a mess. Last time, I could not even finish all the Miralax drinks. Nearly barfed it up too.
Ah, but those beautiful drugs.....
My dad went his whole life never getting screened or tested and in 2017 at age 72 was diagnosed with Colon cancer that had spread to his liver. He was terminal at that point. 11 months later he passed away. I got my first colonoscopy at age 48 right after my dads diagnosis, and just had my second a couple of weeks ago. I find the fear of getting a colonoscopy as ludicrous. They put you to sleep, it takes all of 15-20 minutes then you wake back up. I was in and out of the clinic in less than two hours, you feel nothing. The prep the day before is the worst part, but honestly it's probably does you good to clean your gut out like that every so often.
Anyway, each to their own, but due to me being high risk, I'm on the every five year testing plan. sometimes we just have to suck up our pride. Cancer is a ***** and i'll let a doctor probe my rump every five years to avoid what I watched my dad go through.
How did you have any **** left to **** the bed with after the exam? Why were you still drug induced? just had mine on the 13th. Came out of the anesthesia, got dressed then my wife and I went and had a big breakfast at First Watch. Went home and did some work.
Yeah I don't see how cologaurd could be approved as a replacement given the terrible numbers on it. Cologuard's own numbers they publish say that 8% of people with cancer will get a false negative and 13% of people without cancer will get a false positive. I know people don't want a tube shoved up their butt but it's better than dying of butt cancer.
I was still high as a kite when I woke up .. had tons of gas and some ,,, shall we say residual leftovers I ASSume ... lol I actually thought it was gonna be a fart .. and it was a total SHART .. smh ..
By the time you’re done with the prep, you should be able to handle anything. Worst part for me was realizing I ordered a bunch of fairly expensive camping stuff I’d wanted but had been holding off on purchasing, when it arrived a few days after my procedure. Those twilight drugs are something else.
This is awesome
the nurse told me I was saying all kinds of stuff and she was laughing her *** off said I was telling my wife I wanted to eat her p*ssy I woke up from my colonoscopy feeling clear and refreshed like never before. I forgot the name of the drug used, but it's a shame it can't be safely used and prescribed for sleep disorders.