Coach H: You seriously want their W2s?
Bracky: No, silly goose. Just their title/registration, recent tire acquisitions, and all clothing purchases in the last 90 days.
Coach: *blank stare
Bracky: Can't let the NCAA micro-manage!
Coach: *disturbed* I'll get that to you by lunch, dickwad.
Bracky: What?
Coach: Nothing. *walks away
--------Bracky's office mid-afternoon---
Bracky: Ah, paperwork from Coach Hughes. *click
Bracky:

Fiddlesticks.
Fin.