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Getting Engagement Pressure

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liveblue92

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Does/Did any of your significant others constantly pressure you to propose every time some jerkoffs on Facebook updated their status to engaged after dating for 6 months?

What is an appropriate age/stable situation to get engaged?
 
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MegaBlue05

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If you're getting engagement pressure before three years of dating, you're both too young or she's too old.

My wife and I dated for almost four years (with one breakup of a couple months) and were engaged for a year before getting married. We've been married for 11 years and I like her more now than then. You better be damn sure she's the one before you end up giving her half your stuff down the road.

I don't know if there's a set age, but I would assume anything younger than 25 is too young.
 
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liveblue92

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MegaBlue05 said:
If you're getting engagement pressure before three years of dating, you're both too young or she's too old.

My wife and I dated for almost four years (with one breakup of a couple months) and were engaged for a year before getting married. We've been married for 11 years and I like her more now than then. You better be damn sure she's the one before you end up giving her half your stuff down the road.

I don't know if there's a set age, but I would assume anything younger than 25 is too young.
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I feel as though we are too young, but lots of people her age and younger are doing it, so she is falling into that trap. I try telling her that those. We've been together for over two years.
 
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MegaBlue05

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At least finish school if you're a college student and try to gain a solid grasp on WTF you want to do with your lives, and I say this with experience of what NOT to do.

Peer/family pressure is something young women go through. It's the damndest thing. It sometimes seems like a contest to see who can get married and spawn first. Just wait until your girl's friends start having babies.
 
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BlueRaider22

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1. There's no blueprint for life. Some people are mature enough to get married early, most are not. Depends on a lot of factors.

2. When I was in college dating, a lot of my friends that I went to HS with were getting married and having kids. I felt like I was falling behind in life. A few years later many of them are getting divorced or cheating on each other.....I realized that I was ahead and not behind.

3. The biggest factors that lead to marital strife is money, infidelity, work stress, and lack of communication. Being older and more mature.....as well as making good life decisions (college and finances) can help with this. Which brings us to #4.....and the most important.

4. Communication. Why are you on here talking to us? Talk to her. If you can't talk about something as simple as this calmly and rationally, you have a lot to work out before ever thinking about marriage.
 
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Ron Mehico

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Hell no. Would have been a huge and massive turnoff to be pressured into proposing, especially after 6 months. In fact the idea that a girl would try to pressure you into asking for marriage is absolutely ridiculous. I was with my current wife for 3 years (including a 6 month breakup) and engaged for a year before we got married. I was 32 when I got married. We've been together 3 years and I'm happier now with her than I ever have been. Don't let someone pressure you into something like that, should make you question the person to be honest.
 
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dgtatu01

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liveblue92 said:
Does/Did any of your significant others constantly pressure you to propose every time some jerkoffs on Facebook updated their status to engaged after dating for 6 months?

What is an appropriate age/stable situation to get engaged?
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If you want to get married then propose to her and then she can decide whether she wants to marry you. Her deciding that she wants you to ask is not how it works.

Personally this type of pressure is a red flag. I would move on before the moving on gets more difficult than it is already going to be.
 
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cricket3

cricket3

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How old are you? How long have you been dating? Do you both have stable lives? Do you want to marry her?

I'm not saying an answer to any of those will justify her pressuring you but they could justify you breaking up with her.
 
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shockdaddy19

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As someone mentioned, there's no blueprint to life. I nearly got married when I was in my mid 20's and looking back, it would have been a horrific mistake. Which would have been compounded if we had had kids.

My own advice, without knowing specifics. Get settled in a career, start banking some money. (Money trouble causes issues) Enjoy being together and travel. Get engaged when it feels right, not because of pressure. There's a fine line to things, but getting married early isn't for everyone. I'm 37 and for every couple I know that got married young and has made it, I know two couples who did the same and are divorced. Don't rush it.

And finally, marriage can be wonderful and kids are amazing. But here's the simple truth. Once you get married, the topic of kids inevitably comes up. And once you go down that road, any spare time you thought you had, is gone. So travel, go to the SEC tournament, do that stuff now, together, because it will change some day.
 
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wcc31

wcc31

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liveblue92 said:
Does/Did any of your significant others constantly pressure you to propose every time some jerkoffs on Facebook updated their status to engaged after dating for 6 months?

What is an appropriate age/stable situation to get engaged?
Click to expand...

Not sure how old you are, but I'd wait until your late 20s at least. JMO
 
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-LEK-

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funKYcat75 said:
I've seen your Photobucket pics. Just do it. You're not gonna do any better.
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I have the feeling OP may be fibbing about getting pressure. I guess he does have the whole military thing, so that works.
 
anthonys735

anthonys735

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Just go when you BOTH are ready. Has nothing to do with specific age. Plenty of young couples make it and plenty of old couples get divorced.

If you have any doubt then hold off.
 
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Free_Salato_Blue

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Damn that peer pressure.


You never know what someone is like till you live with them.
 
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Kaizer Sosay

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Be honest. Tell her the more she pressures you the more it turns you away from the idea of marriage. Because you feel that the relationship should grow and run its natural course…independent of the stage(s) of her friends' relationships.

If she gets mad and/or continues with the pressure…then consider your next intimate encounter as break-up sex. Then get on with your new life as a single man.
 
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GhostVol

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Here is my stock answer to marriage questions. Ask her this ONE question: "Is there any thing about me that you expect to change after we get married?" If she gives you any answer besides ' Nothing ' there will be divorce in your future. I learned the hard way.
 
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BlueBallz_rivals30790

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Willy4UK said:
Pregnancy before marriage. Everyone knows that.

16 pregnancy, 17 engaged, 18 divorce.

It's a process.
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Very true. The deal with my 2nd wife was, no marriage unless we had kids, otherwise, I didn't see a reason to get married. I wasn't going to get a "oh, we can have kids", then have her show no interest in kids after. She got pregnant, the ring went on. This was after we dated 2 yrs though.

GhostVol said:
Here is my stock answer to marriage questions. Ask her this ONE question: "Is there any thing about me that you expect to change after we get married?" If she gives you any answer besides ' Nothing ' there will be divorce in your future. I learned the hard way.
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You can ask the question, but you better get the answer on legal paper, signed, double notarized and filed with the county clerk when she tries to say she never said it after the ring goes on.
 
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chitown87

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Mar 22, 2007
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For you married guys, did your girl impose any demands re: the ring?

One of my best friends is about to propose, and his girlfriend has very seriously *demanded* that the ring cost no less than $30,000. This is a guy who makes about $60,000, and only recently started making that much.

I laughed in her face when she told me that, which was not well received.
 
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Ron Mehico

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My girl neither demanded a ring or would ever dream up putting a price tag on it. One of the reasons I married her - because she is not a crazy biotch.
 
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shockdaddy19

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There is a statistic out there somewhere regarding this. Allegedly the chance for divorce goes up if the engagement ring cost over 20k. I can actually see the logic in this.

I would laugh in her face too. No matter how hot she is, that crap wears off. And a small diamond means there's always room to improve it down the road. Like an anniversary.
 
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KentuckyStout

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liveblue92 said:
What is an appropriate age/stable situation to get engaged?
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Appropriate age for a man is over 23.

Appropriate situation? When you love her so much that you know without a doubt that you can spend the rest of your life with her and be the happiest guy on the planet, completely content that she is the one. Don't you dare take that step without knowing this. You either know for sure or you don't. You should feel a spark every time you see her. If you are feeling "pressured" then she's not your girl and you should damn well know better. You are wasting your time and hers. Let her go so she can find a man that actually loves her and you can find a woman that you actually love.

Finally, don't allow yourself to be pressured by ANYONE (friends, family members, etc.) surrounding the relationship, either for or against. It's your call and yours alone, but you damn well better make the right one, son.
 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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I'm guessing this 'pressure' that he is feeling is known to the rest of us as 'talking to a female'.
 
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ukalumni00

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Highly recommend living together for at least 2 years before engagement. I did this and was engaged another 3 years. We learned everything about one another before marriage. We both got our college loans and cars paid off, got married, bought the house, and everything has been rosey since.

Remembering most of my 20's, I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to get married during that time of their life.
 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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ukalumni00 said:
Highly recommend living together for at least 2 years before engagement. I did this and was engaged another 3 years. We learned everything about one another before marriage. We both got our college loans and cars paid off, got married, bought the house, and everything has been rosey since.

Remembering most of my 20's, I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to get married during that time of their life.
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Besides the getting to know each other part, how is that any different than getting married?
 
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