If your wife and/or girlfriend gives you an autographed baseball from Derek Jeter.....

[Mutt the Hoople.buhoops]

If your wife and/or girlfriend gives you an autographed baseball from Derek Jeter.....

...Break Up with them right then and there.

 

[KurtRambis4]

If your wife and/or girlfriend gives you an autographed baseball from Derek Jeter.....

*

 

[Mutt the Hoople.buhoops]

If your wife and/or girlfriend gives you an autographed baseball from Derek Jeter.....

 

[UpTheMiddlex3Punt]

If your wife and/or girlfriend gives you an autographed baseball from Derek Jeter.....

This is bordering on "Mongols sack Rome" territory.