I’ve been checking out this thread periodically but have been too busy holidaying to stop and post before now.
My young adult son is high-functioning with autism. My 8-year-old nephew also has autism — he’s clearly intelligent and very sweet of disposition, but he also endures bigger challenges from being on the spectrum than my son did growing up. My sister and brother-in-law work tirelessly with my nephew on coping strategies and helping him manage his behavior, yet he will still act out at times when anxieties or overstimulation get to him. I feel for their whole family, but I know that together they’re steering him toward the best possible outcomes given his condition. I’ve seen a lot of growth out of him and am very hopeful that he will eventually be able to lead rather close to what society typically deems as a “normal” life.
I am convinced that a key factor in his growth has been his parents’ practice of exposing him to as many experiences and social situations as they can reasonably do. There are certain events or environments that they may still hold back from taking him to — or perhaps take him for a shorter duration than they would his 6-year-old sister without autism. But over time his ability to function in a variety of scenarios has shown marked improvement… which is wonderful for him and his family. I believe it’s also good ultimately good for society as well, as this greatly increases his chances of eventually achieving self-sufficiency, or near to it. That’s highly preferable to his possibly becoming an adult who cannot interact with others at all while also being entirely dependent upon them. Getting him out and about when they can makes this positive progression possible.
Yes, there are times when he exhibits sudden behaviors that end up being disruptive to others. When it happens, it’s not because it he wasn’t being monitored. It happens because it’s part of the growing pains of his development. In such situations, his parents will apologize and explain to the person(s) affected, and immediately work with him on what he could be doing differently. And yes they will take him outside or go home if he is really struggling or getting into a meltdown. Over time, that is happening less often.
I would encouraging anyone reading this to keep this point in mind and summon up just a little more patience, empathy, and understanding for an autistic child who may be acting out and their family, who go through a lot every single day.
Bob, I thank you for igniting the conversation in this thread… I think there have been a lot of very thoughtful and insightful responses. FG Dreadnought’s post summed up pretty well what I was feeling and intending to reply to your question.
I also felt that a few responses belied a lot of ignorance and lack of decorum on the part of the respective posters. I can only hope that those posts were hasty internet bravado types of replies, and not indicative of what is truly in the hearts and minds of those individuals. If even one of them softens their stance on this topic a bit after reading this thread, this discussion will have been really worthwhile.
One last note… a few years ago, at the age of 50 (!!!) I had an epiphany. A few behaviors that I observed in my nephew (and had not seen in my son in his childhood) awakened long-dormant memories in me. I finally began to connect some dots around certain things that had never made sense but had always troubled me. I did some reading, basically self-diagnosed, and then went to a neuropsychologist for testing that confirmed that I, too, qualify as being mildly on the spectrum, though high functioning. (My ex-wife would perhaps debate that very last part, lol.)
That has unlocked a transformational time in my life, in which I have become armed with a new self-awareness that has made me far more resilient against difficulties with depression and anxiety that had troubled me since my teens, and enhanced my ability to function well in my career and my home life. I bring this up only so I can express my gratitude for the presence of my son and my nephew in my life, which ultimately enabled me to learn something fundamental about myself that I otherwise never would have suspected. I am also very pleased that we have a much better clinical understanding of autism these days than we did in my youth. All of this can only be further enhanced through open dialog such as we’ve had here in this thread… so, thank you all very much.
Happy New Year everyone, and Let’s Go State!!!
