I have never reffed football and my experience in basketball is limited. However, I have umpired baseball from youth all the way up to college and I did some softball. The youth parents were the worst. But, I was able to tune all of that out and made a conscious decision to engage with players and coaches only. It is easier said than done, so it takes work.
In the years I umped I made sure I took care of four critical things. First, I knew the rules. Reading and applying a rule book may not be very exciting, but when you know the rules, it eliminates a lot of arguments.
Secondly, I always made sure I was in position to make a call no matter where it was. You never want to get caught flat footed because sure as hell if you do, a critical close call has to be made. They are hard to make if you are 75 feet away from them. If you are not in position to make a call you are asking for an argument on a close play.
Third, I kept myself in good physical shape. I wanted to be able to move around and being in better shape makes it a whole lot easier. I really don't know how fat guys, who can't move much bother to officiate games. But, there are overweight guys who can move too. It is a physical job.
Fourth, I had a thick skin. I didn't let some of the nonsense bother me. I really didn't. If you don't have a thick skin, you'll get eaten alive and I have seen it.
All four of these critical things are 100% controllable by all officials too.
All this doesn't mean I never made mistakes. I made mistakes. There were certain pitches I may have called a ball or strike that I wondered about later. There were also calls on the bases I later wondered about. I admitted my mistakes. I knew I blew some calls. Every official does and that's the way you have to look at it. It also doesn't mean I never had anyone disagree with me. I did. But, I let them have their say, then I decided it was time to move on.
The guys I worked with who had trouble almost always were lacking in one or more of the categories I just mentioned.
The officials know who the whiners and complainers are before the games even start based on past experience. But make no mistake about it. The players and coaches also know who the lousy and lazy officials are too.
Sorry, I made this so long.
