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Jonna Chizik

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Felonious Junk

All-Conference
Oct 23, 2008
1,858
1,210
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Jonna Chizik's facebook status earlier today:

This is the response I gave to one of our fans, Brandi Efferson, on facebook today.
Maybe one of you will feel led to take this on....

"I have given quite a lot of prayerful consideration to your desire to help and make a difference this season and I do have a thought. As you know,

Social media can be a very powerful tool.

Recent examples of its power can be cited by googling

how it played...
a primary role in the Occupy Wall Street protests, the uprising in Egypt, the Konya 2012 movement, and the various flash mobs that randomly occur all over the world to name just a few examples.

Therefore, my humble suggestion is to create a VERY POWERFUL "ALL IN"

movement of your own.

We have fans all over the US and I think it is time that they RISE UP and snatch back what satan, himself, has stolen.

We serve a God who recovers ALL that "has been stolen" from us and there are times that He requires the efforts of His people to accomplish this truth.

Just think about the effect it will have first for the players and their families who sacrifice daily but how it will impact the fan base as a whole.

During the season of 2010 the fans came together each Friday afternoon to send our boys off with a reverse tiger walk and the effect of just that alone was palpable enough that it carried over onto the field each and every Saturday.

I encourage you to think outside the box and create something that will show the rest of the world WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO and why when we refer to ourselves as FAMILY that we mean it.

I look forward to see what you come up with.
Blessings, Jonna Chizik
P.S. feel free to share all of this as you feel led!
WAR EAGLE"
 
L

LiterallyPolice

Redshirt
Dec 15, 2011
376
0
0
Ok, so I don't speak religious gibberish very fluently, but if I'm interpretting correctly... Satan, obviously a Bammer, took a little break from hunger and war and single-handedly cursed the Auburn football program. Now God has appeared to this girl and informed her 1.) War Eagle, and 2.) he can't undo the satanic curse himself. Its just too strong for him. The only way to break the curse is for all the auburn fans to show some slactivism on Twitter and Facebook. Yeah, that makes sense.
 
Shmuley

Shmuley

Heisman
Mar 6, 2008
23,754
10,413
113
We just thought the crazy ***** factor went down when malzahn's wife left. ***

nm
 
D

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
15,769
2,598
113
Having a strong religious faith is like having a giant dick. I'm damn happy for you as long as you aren't wagging that thing in my face.

Did she really think Jesus was needed as an argument for people to support a 17ing meaningless football team?

That ***** is crazy.
 
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patdog

Heisman
May 28, 2007
56,185
25,239
113
Exactly what I was thinking. The only difference is she didn't do it on camera. But that ***** is batshit crazy.
 
T

Todd4State

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
17,411
1
0
Actually, I think Jesus has been very good to them

They got Cam Newton, the NCAA let them get away with it, and they won a National Championship.

Of course, that's assuming that Jesus cares about Auburn football, which he doesn't.
 
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NorCalDawg

Redshirt
Oct 8, 2010
314
3
18
I have never seen a more self-righteous, pompous group of people in my life. These people really believe that some sort of higher power shows them favor over everyone else. Why? Just because they're Awbun? Come on. I'm assuming that when she says "recover ALL that has been stolen" she means wins, national standings, pride, success, (her husband's job pretty soon) who knows what else. And, stolen by who? Satan, no less. Satan is out to destroy the Awbun family! Awbun is the center of the universe. Can't let that Awbun light shine! Let's see how close this family is when they lose a few more games. They're going to disown the Chiz's so fast it'll make your head spin and they'll pay big money to do it, too.

That is some desperate, 17ed up thinking, right there.
 
M

MSUDawg4Life

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
235
0
0
Auburn needs to start putting spousal gag orders in their coaching contracts. These women are out of control and must be terribly embarrassing.
 
Shmuley

Shmuley

Heisman
Mar 6, 2008
23,754
10,413
113
It's less about the barn and more about the Chizniks primarily. Typical name it and claim it garbage that resonates with a certain segment of the community from which it is not unusual for a few prize recruits to come.
 
Xenomorph

Xenomorph

All-American
Feb 15, 2007
15,246
8,868
113
It's pretty obvious that God got pissed when he realized..

...the money wasn't really for the church. I figure he's planning locusts and frogs next.
 
S

stinkfoot

Redshirt
Aug 23, 2012
327
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Reverse Tiger Walk! Brilliant. No wonder they haven't been winning this year.

And when hearing about what satan stole, i immediately thought of Gene's contract and buyout.
 
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MadDawg.sixpack

Redshirt
May 22, 2006
3,358
0
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Aw come on DerHntr..... it's just a silly college prank. Everybody does it. ***

"as long as you aren't wagging that thing in my face"
 
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MrHooch

Redshirt
Feb 25, 2008
1,284
0
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+1

DerHntr said:
Having a strong religious faith is like having a giant dick. I'm damn happy for you as long as you aren't wagging that thing in my face.

Did she really think Jesus was needed as an argument for people to support a 17ing meaningless football team?

That ***** is crazy.
Click to expand...
 
D

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
15,769
2,598
113
"Aw come on DerHntr..... it's just a silly college prank. Everybody does it. ***"

Tusk agrees with this statement wholeheartedly. Also the guy who has seen so much ********** in MULTIPLE STATES that he can't remember how many times it occurred. He approves as well.
 
L

Leghumper.sixpack

Redshirt
Oct 10, 2012
9
0
0
This logic brings to mind what I saw a friend of mind do?

One day I was with him and he stopped at his bank and said "come inside with me, I"ll be in here a while.". I said ok and watched as he closed his account. When we got back in his vehicle I asked, "why did you close your account, I thought you liked this bank?". He said "I did, however, they offered me a substantial loan.". I said "so?". I"ll never forget his reply. He said, "I can't trust a bank that would lend ME money". How could you trust a higher power that is occupied with your damn football team? Wouldn't this on the face of the matter bring into question the Higher Power's - higher power status?
 
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xxxWalkTheDawg

Redshirt
Oct 21, 2005
4,262
0
0
angusyoung said:


We have fans all over the US and I think it is time that they RISE UP and snatch back what satan, himself, has stolen.

We serve a God who recovers ALL that "has been stolen" from us
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but..HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Stolen from you? I wonder what that head case thinks was "stolen"? You slid past the NCAA on a violation that could have been the beginning of the absolute end of AU football and you were rewarded with a NC. There is your blessing *****. Now it's on to helping yourselves.

Is it your dignity that was stolen? Ohh too bad that the other in state school is embarrassing you right now. Sucks to be embarrassed to wear AU colors when your Idiot husband is coach.

What you should have said is pray that you and your dumbass husband is not drummed out of town and your money is cut off when Chizik has to coach junior college with the taint and ineptitude that follows him.

I have no doubt that UM will beat them this weekend if this is 1% of the thinking of the team. And I'm really really ok with that.

And these suddenly religious fans had the audacity to run their mouths about Nick Bell and Megan Mullen but will be on their Bedsides praying for deliverance from Nick Saban from this.

And using guidance from the Occupy movement? I would love to see toomers corner covered with crude tents, garbage, and people that hasn't bathed in days. I take that back, it already is on gameday. At least there are live trees at Zuccotti park.
 
T

tenureplan

Senior
Dec 3, 2008
8,375
983
113
DerHntr said:
"Aw come on DerHntr..... it's just a silly college prank. Everybody does it. ***"

Tusk agrees with this statement wholeheartedly. Also the guy who has seen so much ********** in MULTIPLE STATES that he can't remember how many times it occurred. He approves as well.
Click to expand...

He must be British
 
D

Dawg Jurist

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
429
0
16
EDSBS on Jonna Chizik's rant: Old Testament God is exacting punishment for Cam

Here. The punishment he has in store this weekend is at the end of the article.
 
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NorCalDawg

Redshirt
Oct 8, 2010
314
3
18
Maybe I shouldn't generalize, but my opinion has been shaped by many personal experiences with Auburn fans whose attitudes were similar to that of Jonna Chizik, including a preacher, and this was waaaayyy before Cam Newton. Speaking of Cam, do you remember during the NCAA investigation how they had pictures of him on a cross as though he was being persecuted and how they referred to him as a "savior" and a gift from god, yadda, yadda, yadda...? I guess that was my opinion of their fan base was solidified. But, you're probably right, it's more of a radical, fringe element than Auburn fans in their entirety. Guess I've just been lucky.**
 
WilCoDawg

WilCoDawg

All-Conference
Sep 6, 2012
5,264
3,654
113
I think you nailed it, my friend. As Christian, I find it sickening to hear crap spewed like what that woman just did. That "name it and claim it" crap is a theology that is non-Biblical and casts God as a genie-in-a-bottle instead of the Creator that He is.
Does God or Jesus care about football? I don't know. I'm the only one who brings it up in conversations.
The audacity of her to think Auburn is owed by God to be great in football is also hilarious. She's disgusting. And disturbing. I bet she bitches when she does get that front-row parking spot at Wal-Mart God is supposed to give her.
 
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jwbigcreek

Redshirt
Feb 26, 2008
1,080
0
36
Think I asked you before, but can't recall. Are you the Tusk from the old days (Genespage, The Bomb, etc.)? If so, recall meeting you at a State game around 98 or so (which means you are getting to be an old fart).
 
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TUSK.sixpack

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
2,548
0
0
you remember the JUCO Bomb? tick, tick, tick....

I'm that TUSK... a lot more laid back now... still act a smartass but really a decent, passive/agressive cat...

PM me, daddio...
 
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TUSK.sixpack

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
2,548
0
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lighten up, daddio, and don't lump me in there with those freaks, please.

I'm not down with it, but I also don't think it should be in the same category as violent, sexual crime... now, if he'd given the dude a teabag followed up with a mushroom stamp, we could be talking some serious time!
 
P

patdog

Heisman
May 28, 2007
56,185
25,239
113
Was discussing this with a UM friend at work today. She brought up the name of Joel Osteen, which kind of surprised me until she explained it. He preaches that God will give you prosperity if you just follow him. Which is the opposite of what the Bible teaches. Jonna Chizik is doing the same thing, except she's substituting Auburn football for money (of course in her case they're pretty much the same). It borders on blasphemy.
 
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RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
18,921
2,032
113
The story appeared in what's left of the Huntsville Times this morning, with the "religious" quotes included, although it was a short article in the Sports section. There was no real comment on what she said ... it was fairly clear that the writer thought she was a bit nutty.
 
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