'Twas the night before Christmas, as quiet as a mouse
Our 'MotownMo' was stirring, he'd been locked otta the house;
The stockings were hung on hims laigs with hair,
He hoped that he could find a hidden key somewhere;
He searched in his pockets for head doctor meds,
While visions of Mars Men danced in his head;
He laid down on the porch for a long winters nap,
When his feet found the location of the warf rat trap,
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
He raised up and said, 'Hey youse guys whats da matter'.
And he realized he forgot his wifes house coat sash,
Bout the time he stood up and gave the new Sheriff a flash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
The Sheriff arrested 'Mo', so lively and quick,
And he wuz given an Orange jumpsuit to await on St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles mushed on his rescue crew,
Hims cuzzins got in trucks and to the jail they flew;
"Now, Bubber! Now, Squirrl Head! Now, Valhines and Schnizzen!
Come go my bail cause this coffee tastes like whizzen!
So they stood on the porch, and gave out the call!
Let him go Sheriff we'll put em' in our hog barn stall!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Ol Charlie said be gone ant tell you folks I said hi,
So down the durt road like coursers they flew,
This truck full country boys, and 'MotownMo' too.
Upon arriving at the house, we heard a low woof
Then ol teef and fangs had 'Mo' by the hoof.
He drug him in the yard round and round
And banged his head on the chimney and farm tools on the ground.
Cujo was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And he only stopped when Mrs Mo said, 'Turnt aloose ofa his foot;
As she rubbed his head and patted his back,
'Im'a glad I trained you how to bring him back'.
'Mos' eyes -- how they twinkled! likker had made him merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His snaggle toof mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin looked like mouldy bread dough;
Ona stump in the yard he fount his new teeth,
And the garden hose wuz wrapped round his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and his shirt didn't cover his belly,
That shook, when he laughed like cranberry jelly.
He was dirty and plump, sorta like a demented elf,
And kids laughed when they saw him, in spite of themself;
A wink of his good eye and a twist of his head,
Made em run cause he was staggering towards the moonshine shed;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the jugs; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his fanger aside of his nose,
Blowed snot on the floor with a Michaelangelo pose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his huntin dogs gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like one of dem a-tomick missles.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, meat me at Waffle House tonight!."
This post was edited on 12/22 1:55 PM by tatermommy
Our 'MotownMo' was stirring, he'd been locked otta the house;
The stockings were hung on hims laigs with hair,
He hoped that he could find a hidden key somewhere;
He searched in his pockets for head doctor meds,
While visions of Mars Men danced in his head;
He laid down on the porch for a long winters nap,
When his feet found the location of the warf rat trap,
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
He raised up and said, 'Hey youse guys whats da matter'.
And he realized he forgot his wifes house coat sash,
Bout the time he stood up and gave the new Sheriff a flash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
The Sheriff arrested 'Mo', so lively and quick,
And he wuz given an Orange jumpsuit to await on St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles mushed on his rescue crew,
Hims cuzzins got in trucks and to the jail they flew;
"Now, Bubber! Now, Squirrl Head! Now, Valhines and Schnizzen!
Come go my bail cause this coffee tastes like whizzen!
So they stood on the porch, and gave out the call!
Let him go Sheriff we'll put em' in our hog barn stall!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Ol Charlie said be gone ant tell you folks I said hi,
So down the durt road like coursers they flew,
This truck full country boys, and 'MotownMo' too.
Upon arriving at the house, we heard a low woof
Then ol teef and fangs had 'Mo' by the hoof.
He drug him in the yard round and round
And banged his head on the chimney and farm tools on the ground.
Cujo was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And he only stopped when Mrs Mo said, 'Turnt aloose ofa his foot;
As she rubbed his head and patted his back,
'Im'a glad I trained you how to bring him back'.
'Mos' eyes -- how they twinkled! likker had made him merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His snaggle toof mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin looked like mouldy bread dough;
Ona stump in the yard he fount his new teeth,
And the garden hose wuz wrapped round his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and his shirt didn't cover his belly,
That shook, when he laughed like cranberry jelly.
He was dirty and plump, sorta like a demented elf,
And kids laughed when they saw him, in spite of themself;
A wink of his good eye and a twist of his head,
Made em run cause he was staggering towards the moonshine shed;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the jugs; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his fanger aside of his nose,
Blowed snot on the floor with a Michaelangelo pose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his huntin dogs gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like one of dem a-tomick missles.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, meat me at Waffle House tonight!."
This post was edited on 12/22 1:55 PM by tatermommy