Need help with a cleavage issue
- Thread starter OUIrPSU
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It’s already pretty cold in the room. Doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Unfortunately, I don’tIf you teach anatomy, I see a definite opportunity for an anatomy by Braille lab section.
Too late, I already did. The pic is just some rando from the internet and is for illustrative purposes only.
After careful consideration I think you should just suck it up and deal with it. Look/don’t look, enjoy/ignore. You can’t control everything in life. It’s a couple of hours per week for a few months. She’s not breaking any laws, she’s just craving attention. Could be a lot worse. It’s the tapestry of life.
As a professor I maintain an absolute no touch policy for everyone; no shaking hands, no hugging, never alone in office with door closed and depending if a meeting requested would do so out in commons area and not my office. Know colleagues who have had unfounded accusations and it is career wrecking and soul crushing. And in fairness know creepy colleagues who did all kinds wrong stuff whose career totally cratered. And do what Jason recommends just be your normal self in class. You are a pro. Stick to basic principals
I had a colleague get a call from HR for telling a student “I’m looking forward to having you in my class.”
Exactly never ever say anything about appearance, or seeming personal and ever act in a personal friend fashion. It is unfortunate, but academic departments where you interact with trainees can be mine fields.
All you college profs have it easy, imagine in a MS/HS. Some 16 YO girl can lie and ruin a guys life forever. Sadly the Admin and even union almost always take the kids side anymore.
Teacher: I’m looking forward to helping you learn and spread your legs. Wings! I meant wings! Wings!
Yep accused equals convicted. Whole premise starts with whatever kid said is ground truth regardless of how inconceivable or outlandish
Mr. Hand would have had this!Teacher: I’m looking forward to helping you learn and spread your legs. Wings! I meant wings! Wings!
I have worked in the public school system for 29 years now (just 1 more year!) I have to say that I don't agree with some of these comments. Anytime there is an accusation of this nature, there are steps that need to be taken. I have conducted investigations that have led to teachers being suspended/terminated and I have conducted investigations that have led to teachers being exonerated. Yes, accusations can be damaging, but at the same time I think you have to take all of them seriously. It's better to go through the process and find out that the accusation is unfounded than it is to let inappropriate behavior go unchecked.
I would make a general statement to the class about appropriate attire without pointing fingers at the intended target. Maybe that would be enough for her to get the hint.
In addition, I would make sure that I was never alone with this girl, or any girl for that matter in order to avoid any he said/she said situations.
PS As a C/O in a jail, I sometimes have to deal with female inmates and this is exactly how I handle them. Female inmates love trying to jam C/Os up. They will frequently flash us as we make our rounds, walk around naked in their cell when they know we're walking around or even flash us their clams while they're out at yard in the summer.
In addition, I would make sure that I was never alone with this girl, or any girl for that matter in order to avoid any he said/she said situations.
PS As a C/O in a jail, I sometimes have to deal with female inmates and this is exactly how I handle them. Female inmates love trying to jam C/Os up. They will frequently flash us as we make our rounds, walk around naked in their cell when they know we're walking around or even flash us their clams while they're out at yard in the summer.
So where do I send my resume?
I’m 25 years in and now in an administrative position and your points correct that you must take all of the accusation seriously. But some of my fellow administrators are pretty quick and malicious towards specifically male teachers when a female makes an accusation. I’ve seen a young man who had his life ruined by a false accusation. Thankfully, he got a good attorney and got cell phone records from the student. It’s far from the only time I’ve seen that happen.
You made two points in your post. One good...one poor.
Your first suggestion is stupid. It basically incriminates the teacher (@OUIrPSU) because the other students already know how she dresses and they will then know that he notices. Duh
Never be alone with or near that girl. She is setting someone up for something.
Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner had it correct when he wrote this song....
It in no way incriminates the teacher. It's a general statement to the whole class. If everyone knows he's referring to the girl, it's because they agree that she dresses inappropriately and by making a statement to the whole class it is a public display with witnesses that he tried to address it.
So many news stories about female teachers sleeping with male high school students. Was that always a thing? You never heard about this kind of thing when I went to hs in the 90s, but maybe it’s just easier to prove nowadays with cellphones?
"I would make a general statement to the class about appropriate attire without pointing fingers at the intended target. Maybe that would be enough for her to get the hint."
Not my profession, but I have to think that's about as bad a piece of advice that can be given in this situation.
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I think you should reconfigure the seating into a circle and teach the class from the center of the room. Maybe your pupils would better understand your lectures if they were the center of attention. And the coed would find a much larger audience for her desires in the classroom. I'm sure you could find someone in class to help you out.
That was only because his voice trailed off for a second as he tried to enunciate the "cl."
Well, yeah. I can’t imagine that this was any more noteworthy than what you’d encounter any day at the gym.
I always wonder what a psychologist would recommend in these situations as the 'baseball' and 'Margaret Thatcher' type recommendations never worked for me as they don't have any basis in reality. When I've been in these situations my mind gravitated to anything displeasing that I could find with the person in question and if not, substitute something awful based on another personal experience. Use your imagination if necessary.
This girl is either so lacking in self-awareness or has voluntarily disregarded conventional wisdom to seek attention - probably the latter. Either way, any attempt to address this with her directly or through the university will be received horribly. I'd suck it up and deal with it for the semester. Review the handbook or reach out to the school after the semester is over to inquire about how a teacher should deal with violations of the dress code, and put the entire class on notice during the first class of next semester.
Maybe I should order a pizza and have it delivered to class.