Now, this isn't gospel, but this is what I've heard so far:
Recently, 29 bodies were found at the bottom of Sardis Lake. They were all cut up in pieces, wrapped in garbage bags and sunk near each other. The FBI brought in a team of experts, and it turns out that all signs point to Greg Hardy.
HOWEVER, it also turns out that all of his victims were criminals who probably deserved to "get it." There were a couple of other serial killers, some serial rapists, a child porn kingpin, an Alabama fan, etc. All people who had no chance of adding any benefit to society and had no chance of rehabilitation.
Things were kept under wraps for a while. Greg was suspended from the team quietly, and the press was told it was due to an injury. Meanwhile, the FBI was contemplating coming forward with it and pressing charges...but it seems that Houston Nutt was trying to convince them that Greg could actually work FOR the FBI and either go kill terrorists or help them catch other serial killers. It started to look like everything would work out fine, and the FBI would even allow him to play in the Cotton Bowl if he agreed to kill Bin Laden in return.
That's when **** hit the fan. Apparently, a secret Saban operative inside the FBI starting leaking information to a family member...who just HAPPENED to be former Kansas coach Mark Mangino. So Mangino makes some indirect threats, demanding that he be paid over one million dollars and a lifetime supply of Shrimp and Grits from City Grocery to keep his mouth shut. Everything was going down just fine...until Greg found out. He then went to Kansas himself and kidnapped Mangino, drugging him and dragging him to a burned out Krispy Kreme.
Sadly, Greg didn't realize that he needed to use twice the amount of gator tranquilizer as usual and Mangino woke up just as Greg was cutting his cheek and drawing Mark sitting naked on a cloud of powdered donuts. Long story short, Mangino escapes. Greg hunts him down, and finally kills him in a freight elevator in Mangino's home. The University of Kansas is obviously pissed, and wanted answers. That's why Houston Nutt had to call the Kansas AD and explain to him that he needed to back off...for his own good. Houston then allowed the story to leak about the alleged "coaching interest" to cover his tracks just in case a Hog fan did a FOIA request and saw the conversations between Nutt and Kansas.
And now...here we are. Greg was all ready to play in the Cotton Bowl and somebody's letting it slip. I'd watch your back. I know I'm watching mine now.
