Old man rant, remote controls?

Dawgbite

Heisman
Nov 1, 2011
9,959
11,433
113
Granted this is the first all new construction home I’ve had in 35 years with all new stuff but when did the entire world go remote control? Just this morning I counted 21 different remote controls as I unboxed another gadget with a remote control. Why does a microwave need a remote control? A vent hood? A dishwasher? I bet there’s more that I’m missing because that count is just from memory. I bet every one of those little 17ers uses a different battery!
 

17itdawg

All-Conference
Sep 30, 2022
960
1,582
93
Granted this is the first all new construction home I’ve had in 35 years with all new stuff but when did the entire world go remote control? Just this morning I counted 21 different remote controls as I unboxed another gadget with a remote control. Why does a microwave need a remote control? A vent hood? A dishwasher? I bet there’s more that I’m missing because that count is just from memory. I bet every one of those little 17ers uses a different battery!
My old man rant is, why does every 17ing device have to be smart? I don't need my dishwasher to be smart just clean my 17ing dishes for 30 years before you die and I buy a new one. Give me longevity and quality instead of I can start the dishwasher without leaving my couch. My fat a$$ needs the steps anyway, so I'll gladly walk over there to start the dishwasher if it won't die every six 17ing years.
 

RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
20,134
2,900
113
My old man rant is, why does every 17ing device have to be smart? I don't need my dishwasher to be smart just clean my 17ing dishes for 30 years before you die and I buy a new one. Give me longevity and quality instead of I can start the dishwasher without leaving my couch. My fat a$$ needs the steps anyway, so I'll gladly walk over there to start the dishwasher if it won't die every six 17ing years.
Some really useful ones are the television (obviously - makes channel surfing possible), my ceiling fan, and the gas logs (it drastically cuts down on the bend-overs, important at my age). The rest are almost superfluous, but being able to control the thermostat remotely is good, and several others, especially if you're not at home. But a dishwasher? No. Microwave? No.
 
Dec 9, 2018
918
868
93
Living room ceiling fan in my new house has a remote control. Why? If I lose that, I'm not sure I'll be able to chance the fan speed. All other rooms have a traditional ceiling fan. Also, my oven can connect to the Internet. Why?
My guess on the oven is so that Zuckerberg or Gates or whichever other nutjob can burn your house down while you are on vacation.
 
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lazlow

Senior
Jul 9, 2009
1,335
637
113
Granted this is the first all new construction home I’ve had in 35 years with all new stuff but when did the entire world go remote control? Just this morning I counted 21 different remote controls as I unboxed another gadget with a remote control. Why does a microwave need a remote control? A vent hood? A dishwasher? I bet there’s more that I’m missing because that count is just from memory. I bet every one of those little 17ers uses a different battery!
Hang Up Eye Roll GIF by Motorola
 
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Hugh's Burner Phone

All-American
Aug 3, 2017
5,498
6,502
113
Our washing machine can connect to WiFi. I have no idea how to do it and I'm not going to try. I don't even know how to turn the damn thing on. Got more buttons and settings than an F18. Once the dial you pushed in, turned to the setting you wanted, and pulled it back out became obsolete it was game over for me. Besides, I got banned from laundry 15 years ago after a certain incident where all the clothes went in one color and came out a different color.
 

RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
20,134
2,900
113
Our washing machine can connect to WiFi. I have no idea how to do it and I'm not going to try. I don't even know how to turn the damn thing on. Got more buttons and settings than an F18. Once the dial you pushed in, turned to the setting you wanted, and pulled it back out became obsolete it was game over for me. Besides, I got banned from laundry 15 years ago after a certain incident where all the clothes went in one color and came out a different color.
That's a common strategy to avoid ever having to do the laundry again.
 

DerHntr

All-Conference
Sep 18, 2007
16,185
3,649
113
My kids don’t understand the joy that my antenna and flipping through the channels brings me instead of looking at an app and deciding what to watch.

After that, I do not need a remote. The ceiling fan remote is the worst. I can never find it. Everything else should be controlled with an app if it needs to be controlled at all. Garage door, alarm system and security lights, and the thermostat are the only things worth it.
 

MStateU

All-Conference
Nov 15, 2009
1,090
2,330
113
Connect them all to WIFI so that they can be turned off by the man when you have used your energy allotment for the month or if it senses you are cooking meat instead of the government approved alternative....I don't know whether or not to put sarcasterisks
 
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Barkman Turner Overdrive

All-Conference
May 28, 2006
4,779
3,331
113
Wait til you have to connect your oven or dishwasher to WiFi to use it.

Connect them all to WIFI so that they can be turned off by the man when you have used your energy allotment for the month or if it senses you are cooking meat instead of the government approved alternative....I don't know whether or not to put sarcasterisks
I can see these being some requirements in the first set of Executive Orders from the new Administration in January 2029.
 

patdog

Heisman
May 28, 2007
60,709
32,060
113
Connect them all to WIFI so that they can be turned off by the man when you have used your energy allotment for the month or if it senses you are cooking meat instead of the government approved alternative....I don't know whether or not you put sarcasterisks
Remember a couple years ago in Texas when they were having all those electricity outages due to high demand. A lot of those utility customers found out that that "free" smart thermostat the utility gave them came with the authorization for the utility to remotely set their thermostats to 78 degrees when heat index was over 100.
 

The Peeper

Heisman
Feb 26, 2008
16,773
12,572
113
App based is definitely best rather than actual remotes. I love not being at home but being able to holler at the Amazon drivers through the mic on my outdoor cameras when they carelessly toss packages up on the porch or leave them sitting where they will get wet. Even if I miss them doing it I have 1 last camera on the far corner of the house by the driveway I can activate on their way back to their vehicle and yell at them right before they get back in their ride. Opening doors and turning lights on and off when we're not there is great too if someone needs to drop something off or let the dogs out for us.
 

MStateU

All-Conference
Nov 15, 2009
1,090
2,330
113
Remember a couple years ago in Texas when they were having all those electricity outages due to high demand. A lot of those utility customers found out that that "free" smart thermostat the utility gave them came with the authorization for the utility to remotely set their thermostats to 78 degrees when heat index was over 100.
I would be taping those 8 hour hand warmers to the thermostat so it would think it's 90 deg in there and the air would just rip. More than one way to skin a cat.
 
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The Peeper

Heisman
Feb 26, 2008
16,773
12,572
113
My bedroom ceiling fan came with a little holder that we keep beside the light switch with the remote in it. I've never once in the 18 months it's been there in the holder touched it
 
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msualohadog

Senior
Oct 25, 2014
638
945
93
My kids bought me one of those heated coffee mugs for Christmas. It only got 3.2 star reviews so I read some of them. Literally the only complaint was the coffee mug had problems connecting to the app. Who the hell needs an app for a coffee mug?
 
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