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OT Baseball Hypothetical

Zarbok

Zarbok

Freshman
Dec 2, 2022
54
60
18
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
 
Zarbok

Zarbok

Freshman
Dec 2, 2022
54
60
18
Personally I'm going for it. I need that nod of approval from him when I finish him off with my filthiest pitch and he swings and misses.
 
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Jeffreauxdawg

Jeffreauxdawg

All-American
Dec 15, 2017
8,799
7,676
113
I'm throwing at him. If I know anything about Jesus Christ is he always come through in the clutch so I'm not giving him anything to hit, he'll definitely take one for the team if given the opportunity, and he'll forgive me and love me the same as he always has after I hit him.
 
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Zarbok

Zarbok

Freshman
Dec 2, 2022
54
60
18
CochiseCowbell said:
I have more questions.

Which team is Jesus of Nazareth playing for?

What position is he playing? Is he a pinch hitter?
Click to expand...
The A's, hes a sucker for a poverty franchise that needs help. Plays left, can hit with power but mostly a single and double guy who hits the gaps well
 
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M

msudawg1200

Senior
Sep 19, 2012
1,015
961
113
Zarbok said:
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
Click to expand...
Walk Him. Yes, you set up the potential for a bases loaded walk to tie it up, but He's going to hit a three run walk off anyway, so just walk Him and take your chances with the next hitter. There are runners in front of Him, so that slows Him down also.
 
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Drebin

Drebin

Heisman
Aug 22, 2012
21,457
24,948
113
Zarbok said:
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
Click to expand...
I'm working offspeed stuff down and in. Maybe he'll foul one off a toe.

But I'm definitely pitching to him. Colossians 3:23-24:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
 
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She Mate Me

She Mate Me

Heisman
Dec 7, 2008
12,391
10,354
113
Zarbok said:
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
Click to expand...

Are we sure this is the actual son of God, or is his name more commonly pronounced Hey Seuss??

I might be more inclined to pitch to the actual Jesus Christ vs a Mexican confident enough to wear sandals in a WS game.
 
B

bulldoghair

All-Conference
Jul 9, 2013
2,430
1,925
108
Maroon Eagle said:
He ain’t playing for @Bulldawg77 & @bulldoghair because they don’t want to give to the glory of God… **

I’ll be seeing you real soon just for writing that, @Lucifer Morningstar …
Click to expand...
Is it the actual Jesus or
Southern-Baptist-Jesus? If it’s Southern-Baptist-Jesus, first pitch I’m throwing with the combined power of, and representing every waiter who’s had to work the post Sunday church crowd for years- and I’m throwing a fastball high and tight, aiming for his face.

Now if it’s the actual Jesus, I go with full reverence, and I’m calm- I’m not walking the Son of God. I’m making Him earn the empty tomb run. I would be confident that He lives in me and lives through me, and would use me, to strike His own self out.
 
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Maroon Eagle

Maroon Eagle

All-American
May 24, 2006
17,961
7,765
102
bulldoghair said:
Is the actual Jesus or
Southern-Baptist-Jesus? If it’s Southern-Baptist-Jesus, first pitch I’m throwing with the combined power of, and representing every waiter who’s had to work the post Sunday church crowd for years- and I’m throwing a fastball high and tight, aiming for his face.

Now if it’s the actual Jesus, I go with full reverence, and I’m calm- I’m not walking the Son of God. I’m making Him earn the empty tomb run. I would be confident that He lives in me and lives through me, and would use me, to strike His own self out.
Click to expand...
A Deadly Adoption Applause GIF


Beautiful… 😂
 
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T

tenureplan

All-Conference
Dec 3, 2008
8,479
1,090
113
Zarbok said:
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
Click to expand...
Hit him. There will be no repercussions, he will turn the other cheek
 
Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar

All-Conference
Aug 30, 2022
2,039
3,090
113
Maroon Eagle said:
He ain’t playing for @Bulldawg77 & @bulldoghair because they don’t want to give to the glory of God… **

I’ll be seeing you real soon just for writing that, @Lucifer Morningstar …
Click to expand...
I will formally issue a pass for this incident. Aren't you messing with the crazy guy that argues with himself by posting over two accounts with them contradicting each other? Although, I guess it is not more crazy than thinking that you are the Devil.
 
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mike tice

mike tice

Senior
Sep 30, 2022
409
692
93
Zarbok said:
Saw a Twitter bio that made me think about it.

You're on the mound, it's the bottom of the 9th, game 7 world series, you're up by 1. 2 outs with men on 2nd and 3rd and coming up to bat is actual Jesus Christ, sandles and everything.

How are you pitching to him? Free pass to the son God? Make him work for it? Soft toss for him to win? Or are you giving him everything, high heat, bust him in, curves, change ups, the whole 9 yards.
Click to expand...
What color is he
 
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preacher_dawg

preacher_dawg

All-Conference
Nov 12, 2014
2,611
1,984
113
The correct answer is to bow before Him and beg for His forgiveness. After it is clear he forgives me, I am pitching to him. He is completely human (while being completely God) after all. There is nothing about Him that would suggest he would be able to hit a homerun more than the average human. He made himself that way for us.
 
P

paindonthurt

All-Conference
Apr 7, 2025
3,789
2,749
113
Drebin said:
I'm working offspeed stuff down and in. Maybe he'll foul one off a toe.

But I'm definitely pitching to him. Colossians 3:23-24:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
Click to expand...
Well I could interpret that verse as saying do whatever you need to do to win.

In that case JC is getting walked.
 
P

paindonthurt

All-Conference
Apr 7, 2025
3,789
2,749
113
Drebin said:
No, taking the easy way out.
Click to expand...
I mean if Mississippi State had a 1 run lead in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs and playing for the national championship against Ole Miss and Ole Miss had Barry Bonds in his prime coming to the plate would you want BOC to pitch to him?

I sure as 17 wouldn't.
 
Drebin

Drebin

Heisman
Aug 22, 2012
21,457
24,948
113
paindonthurt said:
I mean if Mississippi State had a 1 run lead in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs and playing for the national championship against Ole Miss and Ole Miss had Barry Bonds in his prime coming to the plate would you want BOC to pitch to him?

I sure as 17 wouldn't.
Click to expand...
It depends on who's pitching and what he's got in the arsenal. It's been done.

 
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