The flat bill thread was a self-help guide. Let me explain.
As I boarded my flight to Miami, I did what I usually do: take my seat in first class and judge the peasants walking back to economy. As the plane was fully boarded, a child in an OM “Sip” polo, and by child I mean a 56-year-old man, came up to use the lav, and the FA had to tell him that was only for FC passengers. He would have to use the porta-johns in economy. Made me feel bad for him, but what could I do?
After takeoff, it was time for dinner, and my roasted chicken was served with a Pappy & Coke for refreshment. After a few sips, I guess I worked up the courage to self-reflect, and the flat bill thread rang true, especially the part about middle-aged men with tattoo sleeves and flat bills being peak douchebaggery. I could only look inward.
So I decided to do a good deed and threw my Biscoff cookies I was saving for the homeless over my shoulder to basic economy. I didn’t look back to see who got them, but my heart swelled with pride knowing I fed the less fortunate. That led to further self-reflection.
There is nothing I can do about the tattoos at this point or my score on the English section of the ACT. But what I could do was put a slight bend in my cap. Between that curved bill and my Biscoff donation, hopefully I remedied my peak douchebaggery. It’s slightly curved bills only from here on out. No flat.
So I just want to say thank you, SPS, for making me better. Just like the Germans didn’t give up after Pearl Harbor, we should never give up on ourselves. So if you have it in you, send up prayers for mine, and others on this board’s continued growth. I’ll leave y’all with the famous words of Margaret Thatcher, “Watch your thoughts, for they will become actions. Watch your actions, for they'll become... habits. Watch your habits for they will forge your character. Watch your character, for it will make your destiny.”
As I boarded my flight to Miami, I did what I usually do: take my seat in first class and judge the peasants walking back to economy. As the plane was fully boarded, a child in an OM “Sip” polo, and by child I mean a 56-year-old man, came up to use the lav, and the FA had to tell him that was only for FC passengers. He would have to use the porta-johns in economy. Made me feel bad for him, but what could I do?
After takeoff, it was time for dinner, and my roasted chicken was served with a Pappy & Coke for refreshment. After a few sips, I guess I worked up the courage to self-reflect, and the flat bill thread rang true, especially the part about middle-aged men with tattoo sleeves and flat bills being peak douchebaggery. I could only look inward.
So I decided to do a good deed and threw my Biscoff cookies I was saving for the homeless over my shoulder to basic economy. I didn’t look back to see who got them, but my heart swelled with pride knowing I fed the less fortunate. That led to further self-reflection.
There is nothing I can do about the tattoos at this point or my score on the English section of the ACT. But what I could do was put a slight bend in my cap. Between that curved bill and my Biscoff donation, hopefully I remedied my peak douchebaggery. It’s slightly curved bills only from here on out. No flat.
So I just want to say thank you, SPS, for making me better. Just like the Germans didn’t give up after Pearl Harbor, we should never give up on ourselves. So if you have it in you, send up prayers for mine, and others on this board’s continued growth. I’ll leave y’all with the famous words of Margaret Thatcher, “Watch your thoughts, for they will become actions. Watch your actions, for they'll become... habits. Watch your habits for they will forge your character. Watch your character, for it will make your destiny.”


