If any of you younger guys fart all the time just for fun and kicks you need to listen up. At some point in time when you become an OFC there will be occasions when you will wish you had remained silent.
OT: For OFC guys mainly but if you young guys can relate jump right in.
- Thread starter skysdad
- Start date
I really hate to face up to it, but as I am finding out: You know YOU'RE GETTING OLD when "HAPPY HOUR IS A NAP"! 
Go Duke!
OFC
Go Duke!
OFC
When you remember buying a glass bottled soft drink out of a vending machine for a dime. OFC
When you are posting on a thread and that senior moment hits and you completely go off course and the topic of the thread changes. OFC
Can a visitor join in ?
Best Duke thread I've read in a while.
At age 75, I'm amused that my g'kids think
they have left me behind. But to me, they're
still breathing my dust.
Don't get older, get smarter.
Best Duke thread I've read in a while.
At age 75, I'm amused that my g'kids think
they have left me behind. But to me, they're
still breathing my dust.
Don't get older, get smarter.
Getting in my car to go to a specific place and winding up somewhere else because I just put it on autopilot. Once I actually drove around, then wound up back home. Then, taking a bit to figure out where I was going in the first place.
OFC
OFC
I've done the lost car bit with a twist - I went to a car and put my key in the lock, only to discover it did not work. While I frustratingly contemplated the need to call a locksmith, I also was puzzled how all sorts of strange items that I did not own got inside my car ...
OFC
OFC
I was daydreaming the other day about my sports playing days (many,many moons ago), and I came to the realization that the older I get, the better I used to be!
Go Duke!
OFC
Go Duke!
OFC
JC, is your last name Bundy?I was daydreaming the other day about my sports playing days (many,many moons ago), and I came to the realization that the older I get, the better I used to be!
Go Duke!
OFC
When you eat out or even at home your junk all over your shirt like salsa, spaghetti sauce, soup, gravy, tartar sauce, chili, salad dressing, cheese sauce, dip, cole slaw, potato salad, nanner puddin, cocktail sauce, marinara sauce, ginger sauce, white sauce. I think that's about it. OFC
Even as old and senile as I am, one constant seems to remain: BOOBIES MAKE ME SMILE!
Go Duke!
OFC
Go Duke!
OFC
And mustard, ketchup, scrambled eggs, chicken salad, tuna salad, juice, and soft drink. OFC
Even as old and senile as I am, one constant seems to remain: BOOBIES MAKE ME SMILE!
Go Duke!
OFC
I have to make a mental note of where I parked my car at the mall or the movies to avoid walking around the parking lot like an idiot. You know that point after about 5 minutes when you realize you have absolutely no idea where you parked and hope that no one picks up on this.
As I age, I realize that I talk to myself, because I sometimes need expert advice. And the biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it! Oh yeah, and so much to do, but no desire to do it.
Go Duke!
OFC
Go Duke!
OFC
IF MY BODY WAS A CAR!
If my body was a car, this is the time I would think about trading it in for a new model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull; but that's not the worst of it:
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was, and I slip and slide, skip and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently; but here's the worst of it all: Almost every time I sneeze, cough, or sputter, either my radiator leaks or exhaust backfires!
Go Duke!
OFC
If my body was a car, this is the time I would think about trading it in for a new model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull; but that's not the worst of it:
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was, and I slip and slide, skip and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently; but here's the worst of it all: Almost every time I sneeze, cough, or sputter, either my radiator leaks or exhaust backfires!
Go Duke!
OFC
A few things that crossed my aging mind today:
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
I don't have gray hair, I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees!
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
Go Duke!
OFC
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
I don't have gray hair, I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees!
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
Go Duke!
OFC
You're young at 50.
I agreed to pitch at age 53 for our young men's team.
Didn't know that a batted ball reached the mound faster than it did when I was 40. I still hit good, ran good, and pitched ok, but my defense was all about defending my face.
I used to pitch slow pitch and that last year a ball hit me in the knee cap and I never seen it. At 58 the biggest deal for me is being able to walk after a long ride in the car. OFCYou're young at 50.
I agreed to pitch at age 53 for our young men's team.
Didn't know that a batted ball reached the mound faster than it did when I was 40. I still hit good, ran good, and pitched ok, but my defense was all about defending my face.
Got a good friend of mine who is 66 while pitching had his jaw broke this spring on a come back up the middle. He had a cage mask on but still it broke his jaw. He loves playing but he told me if he ever pitches again he will have the modern day baseball catchers mask and helmet, chest protector, shin guards and shoulder pads. In other words a catcher playing pitcher. I don't blame him. OFC
Me too but don't remember whyEven as old and senile as I am, one constant seems to remain: BOOBIES MAKE ME SMILE!
Go Duke!
OFC