1. Memphis is a big city with the pros of great culture, events, places to go, things to see, etc. & the cons of big cities-crime, social ills, etc. I am from a small MS town & have been in Memphis for 24 years. It has a whole lot more to offer than what you hear from visitors regurgitating what soemone else said. Rest assured a lot of what you hear about Mmephis by even some suburbanites is overblown. Like any large city, you just need to know the places to avoid and teh places where you need to be aware.
2. I have lived all over this city from out East in Germantown/Cordova to Midtown to East Memphis. The longest possible commute is barely 30 minutes & that woudl be from Collierville to downtown. So dont get too hung up on drive time.
3. Public schools can be OK in Germantown, probably better in Collierville & either for elementary. Once kids get to middle school or high school, you just need to determine what is best for your family. Private school options are many & there are many great private schools from coed to same sex, elementary to K-12. As one stated, St. Georges or Briarcrest are good private schools. My sons go to PDS, a JK-6th grade all boys school, and MUS, a 7-12 all boys school. THey are quality schools & their academics, athletics, etc.speak for themselves.
4. If you dont have kids, consider mid town. Everyone shoudl expereince Mid Town pre-kids. Great place to expereince the city. As you have kids & or begin to work toward that, look @ East Memphis. I have lived in East Memphis b/w Poplar Perkins & Highland for 14 years. Great stable neighborhoods, close to downtown/midtown & yet equally close to the burbs.
5. Memphis, like any large city, is what you make of it. If you retreat to the burbs & never recreate downtown--Grizzlies game, nightlife, dinner, etc. or in Midtown you truly miss out on a lot that the city has to offer. Rest assured, wherever you finally settle in--i.e. with kids, family, etc., that is where you will spend your life, That is where you will go to church, school, go out to dinner, make friends, etc. Figure a 5 mile radius.
Welcome to Memphis. Hope you enjoy it.