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OT: Relations Question

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F

FreeDawg

Senior
Oct 6, 2010
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Alright, it's date night w/your significant other (wife, fiancé,gf). In my mind a perfect order of date night would be: relations, shower, dinner, drinks, home, sleep.

It almost always seems that the s.o.'s prefer the wine and dine followed by relations order. Why is my perfect template not acceptable?
 
F

FreeDawg

Senior
Oct 6, 2010
3,832
603
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It's fine. I laughed. I think most like the idea of romantacized relations idea. I blame movies and magazines
 
maroonmadman

maroonmadman

Senior
Nov 7, 2010
2,530
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Alcohol, due to its chemical make-up is a well known vaginal lubricant. Nobody likes a dry hole.
 
W

Wicked Pissah

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
1,437
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Ours typically goes..

She comes in, i give her a glass of malbec and i start cooking dinner. Usually a bottle has been drank before dinner is ready so she asks me to go down on her. Do that then we eat. Drink another bottle of malbec. Possible relations before the cab gets there but usually not.

Hit the bar, get home around 2, relations and pass out. Wake up the next morning for relations she wants no part of but accepts.....see night before. Ie, why you cook and give her oral.

Then brunch. Pretty much every sat/sun in my household
 
F

Felonious Junk

All-Conference
Oct 23, 2008
1,858
1,210
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Wicked Pissah said:
Ours typically goes..

She comes in, i give her a glass of malbec and i start cooking dinner. Usually a bottle has been drank before dinner is ready so she asks me to go down on her. Do that then we eat. Drink another bottle of malbec. Possible relations before the cab gets there but usually not.

Hit the bar, get home around 2, relations and pass out. Wake up the next morning for relations she wants no part of but accepts.....see night before. Ie, why you cook and give her oral.

Then brunch. Pretty much every sat/sun in my household
Click to expand...

nice


[orders case of Malbec]
 
DawgatAuburn

DawgatAuburn

All-Conference
Apr 25, 2006
10,995
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I presume you are kidding about that, because you are ruining the value of the cards otherwise.
 
C

Coach34

Redshirt
Jul 20, 2012
20,283
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All you non-kid people suck...for those of us with 2 kids, it's:

1. Pour glass of beer/wine- offer her one- she refuses saying "I dont have time right now, Little34 just took his diaper off and pissed in the hall"
2. Knock down 1st glass, begin prep for grilling. Pour another and offer her- "I can't right now, I have to re-fold this mornings laundry thanks to Little34 #2"
3. Pour 3rd glass and go light grill. Want one yet? "No, going to give them a bath. Give me a sip of yours"
4. Open 2nd bottle while I grill- stopped asking.
5. Grill and come in- wife is hollering at kids because she cant see the living room floor due to all the toys. I pour another
6. Food on table. Want one now? Nahhhh, just get me a bottled water with my meal.
7. Post dinner, and we stroll into the living room. I empty 2nd bottle. Suddenly I hear- "hey, I'll take a half a glass now"
8. Open 3rd bottle and give her one, She takes one sip and here come the kids chasing each other. The bigger one catches the little one and they bump into the end table- spilling her wine.
9. She jumps and screams "I dont know why I even try" as she goes into the kitchen for a towel and some resolve.

Thats the 2 kids version at my house
 
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F

FlabLoser

Redshirt
Aug 20, 2006
10,709
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I hear ya, bruh. Two kids here also. But they are 10-ushers now, which is way more manageable than kindergartners or younger.
 
T

Todd4State

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
17,411
1
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Mine is just show up and have relations while looking at baseball cards. Women are naturally intoxicated by me. So, forget the Mike's Hard Lemonade or Natty Lite.
 
T

Todd4State

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
17,411
1
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You tell people you are a murse in a non-sarcastic tone on a message board

What's the difference?

Band nerd joke in 3.....2......
 
HotMop

HotMop

All-American
May 8, 2006
7,685
5,975
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drive, pick up *****, pay, relations, shower, cry self to sleep
 
F

FlabLoser

Redshirt
Aug 20, 2006
10,709
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Victory Red said:
Did you really type "bruh" in a non-sarcastic tone on a message board?

Explains a lot.
Click to expand...

Nomination for bannation not for this post in particular, but for a body of work worthy of the honor and for reciprocity of enforcement standards.
 
T

Todd4State

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
17,411
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The post practice sex and drugs are unreal from what I've heard. That's why Motley Crue does heavy metal- they couldn't handle the choir debauchery.
 
HD6

HD6

Sophomore
Apr 8, 2003
10,019
108
63
Bunch of people making fun of a person because of what he does for a living. Which of you are the Ole Miss fans again?

Merry Christmas.
 
S

Son_of_34

Junior
Sep 30, 2012
656
352
63
...Awww Dad

Coach34 said:
All you non-kid people suck...for those of us with 2 kids, it's:

1. Pour glass of beer/wine- offer her one- she refuses saying "I dont have time right now, Little34 just took his diaper off and pissed in the hall"
2. Knock down 1st glass, begin prep for grilling. Pour another and offer her- "I can't right now, I have to re-fold this mornings laundry thanks to Little34 #2"
3. Pour 3rd glass and go light grill. Want one yet? "No, going to give them a bath. Give me a sip of yours"
4. Open 2nd bottle while I grill- stopped asking.
5. Grill and come in- wife is hollering at kids because she cant see the living room floor due to all the toys. I pour another
6. Food on table. Want one now? Nahhhh, just get me a bottled water with my meal.
7. Post dinner, and we stroll into the living room. I empty 2nd bottle. Suddenly I hear- "hey, I'll take a half a glass now"
8. Open 3rd bottle and give her one, She takes one sip and here come the kids chasing each other. The bigger one catches the little one and they bump into the end table- spilling her wine.
9. She jumps and screams "I dont know why I even try" as she goes into the kitchen for a towel and some resolve.

Thats the 2 kids version at my house
Click to expand...

I'll babysit the brats anytime so you and Madre can make whoopie.
 
X

xxxWalkTheDawg

Redshirt
Oct 21, 2005
4,262
0
0
Friday night she drives over. Reeeeelllllllaaaaaatttttttiiiiiioooooonnnnssss. Shower. Drive to work on Monday. And some of you run to keep in shape. Sheesh.
 
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