OT What’s your favorite Jerry Clower story?
- Thread starter dorndawg
- Start date
I don't see it on YouTube so I'll paraphrase, but it's the one about fishing and catching a gasper goo (fresh water drum) and cooking it on a cedar plank. Put it on a piece of cedar, add butter, salt, pepper, garlic, wrap some foil around it and cook till it's tender. Then, unwrap the foil, throw the gasper goo in the garbage and eat the cedar plank because can't nobody stomach a Mississippi River Gasper Goo and live to tell about it!
1. "Boy - How many they times do I have to tell you to lick that knife before you put in back in the butter tray?"
2. Marcel taking the door off the beer store with his chainsaw to get a RC Cola & a Moon Pie. "They gave Marcel the beer store"
3. Lying Dog
Marcell and The Beer Joint
Jerry Clower Lying Dog
2. Marcel taking the door off the beer store with his chainsaw to get a RC Cola & a Moon Pie. "They gave Marcel the beer store"
3. Lying Dog
Marcell and The Beer Joint
Jerry Clower Lying Dog
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I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one, will be on the lookout
“I’m the man that runs with the football “
Don’t have a link
Found it:
Don’t have a link
Found it:
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Probably the one where he brings down the big city executive to do some hunting at uncle Versies and they wind up shooting up the live stock
Came here to say this one!
“What’s the matter with you, boy? You got ants in your pants?”
“No ma’am! Hot steel balls!”
I'll try to find it, but one of his best jokes is "A New Bull". Short and simple, but it's got a great punchline. And something about his way of voicing the bulls always gets me.
Edit: Found it:
Edit: Found it:
“Haaaawwww! Could you unhook my suspender from yo side view mirror!”
The story about the pastor visiting the deacon in the hospital and reading his last words at the funeral always gets me.
There’s one that has always stuck with me.
So, a flood hits a town and everyone needs to evacuate. A rescue boat goes by one man’s house and the people inside offer to pick him up.
The man says “No, God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise up to the man’s waist. Another boat comes by and offers help.
The man says “No, I’m okay. God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise and now the man is on his roof. Another boat comes by and insists the man gets inside.
The man says “No, God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise and now it’s up to the man’s neck. A helicopter comes by and the rescuer says “Sir, you’ve got to get in this helicopter or you’re going to drown.”
The man says “I’m alright. God’s gonna take care of me.”
Well, the water continues to rise and the man drowns.
When the man, gets to Heaven and meets God, he’s a little annoyed. He says “Now God, I feel like a fool. I told all these people you were going to take care of me and now I’m dead. Why didn’t you take care of me?”
God says “Well, you big dummy. I sent you 3 boats and a helicopter!”
Of course, he tells it a lot better than I do.
So, a flood hits a town and everyone needs to evacuate. A rescue boat goes by one man’s house and the people inside offer to pick him up.
The man says “No, God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise up to the man’s waist. Another boat comes by and offers help.
The man says “No, I’m okay. God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise and now the man is on his roof. Another boat comes by and insists the man gets inside.
The man says “No, God’s gonna take care of me.”
The water continues to rise and now it’s up to the man’s neck. A helicopter comes by and the rescuer says “Sir, you’ve got to get in this helicopter or you’re going to drown.”
The man says “I’m alright. God’s gonna take care of me.”
Well, the water continues to rise and the man drowns.
When the man, gets to Heaven and meets God, he’s a little annoyed. He says “Now God, I feel like a fool. I told all these people you were going to take care of me and now I’m dead. Why didn’t you take care of me?”
God says “Well, you big dummy. I sent you 3 boats and a helicopter!”
Of course, he tells it a lot better than I do.
All of um! 
punsify.com
189+ Witty Whirlwind of Jerry Clower Jokes and Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone in Jan 2026 | Punsify
Jerry Clower Jokes are a hoot! His puns will have you laughing out loud—these jokes really "shear" the fun. Get ready to be "shear" entertained!
punsify.com
"How'd you like to see 'em run the off tackle play, without no tackle?"
Sir, you just described the entirety of the Sylvester Croom era.
Sir, you just described the entirety of the Sylvester Croom era.
Just now stumbled upon this a couple of weeks late. But I loved Clower and hate I never got to see him in person. I actually didn’t discover him until he had already passed away.
The deacon’s last words has always been one of my favorites. Also, Uncle Versie and the chandelier.
The deacon’s last words has always been one of my favorites. Also, Uncle Versie and the chandelier.
As a kid, loved him in the coliseum. Also blessed with seeing MISS Olivia Newton John, as Farmer Jim Neel always introduced her songs on the radio…
Honestly it's just which one he pulled from his encyclopedia each time he decided to stop by our country store(which was hardware, lumber, grain, and many other things). The world can get idea of who he was from the interwebs, but to hear how big of a presence/personality he was in person no one can truly explain. Just knowing he was truly a man of faith even after his hardship should give us all the hope we need.
“He was a stranger and I took him in…”. Story of a shop owner, Mr. Earle, in East Fork who quoted the Bible at each sale. A man who drove in a fancy horse rig with his champion horse wanted a new blanket for a show. First blanket was only five dollars. The man wouldn’t have it. ‘Too cheap for such a fine horse as mine’. Mr. Earle only had one kind of blanket, but he had different colors. He went to the back switched colors and raised the price to $50. The man bought it and walked out of the store, proud. All the fellows around the wood stove knew Mr Earle didn’t have but one style of blanket and they wanted to know what verse he would ring up for this little swindle. He hit the cash sale button on the register and said, “He was a stranger, and I Took Him in…”
Got to meet him outside the locker room of the 80 Sun Bowl. What most folks seem to overlook, Jerry was not a small man.