We were down by 14-17 at half time...Coach walks in, looks around and said something that I will never in my life forget...<div>"I've been to 2 (shows the number 2 with his fingers) county fairs...Ive seen 2 (same thing) goats 17...but (starts screaming at the top of his lungs) I aint never seen no S**T like this before" I had to put on my helmet to keep from laughing in his face.</div>
OT: What is the greatest 1 liner your HS Football Coach ever said
- Thread starter DISTRICT DOG
- Start date
- Status
"This ain't 3A or 4A and this sure ain't 17ing MRA" is probably one of the funnier quotes I have heard.
Our coach tells one of the Linebackers "For now on, your name is Ten Pin; every time a guy comes through the hole, he knocks you over like the ten pin." He called him Ten Pin for the rest of the year.
at half time of a losing effort our coach told the seniors, "ya'll are like turds in a toilet and it's been flushed, you're going round and round and soon you'll be gone." That fired me up right there, that's for sure.
Later that year after a few of us got in a little trouble, he gave us a heart-to-heart on the pitfalls of smoking marijuana. "I knew a boy that smoked that marijuana. It made him shoot peanut butter straight into his brain. He's in Whitfield now.." That little talk scared me straight.
Later that year after a few of us got in a little trouble, he gave us a heart-to-heart on the pitfalls of smoking marijuana. "I knew a boy that smoked that marijuana. It made him shoot peanut butter straight into his brain. He's in Whitfield now.." That little talk scared me straight.
We were getting dominated buy a team 42-0 at halftime. Coach says "Men, We're gonna get beat...Can we please get beat 42-something instead of 42-0?" We lost 49-0...
Coach Jack French
Week of the state championship a receiver drops a pass. Coach French drops to his knees, folds his handsin front of the player and screams " Son when you go home tonight, I want you to get down on your knees and pray, prayhard to Santa Clause that he brings some 17'in nuts and puts them in your sack this year for Christmas cause the sh*t you got just aint workin" We all died laughing!
Same coach (Jack French is about 5'5" on a good day and prob weighs 150lbs)
Wet, Cold, and pouring outside our senior outside linebacker misses a tackle. Out of no where coach French spears the linbacker with no pads on and lays the guy out. The guy goes to get up and he spears him again. This guy was about 6"2" 215. While player is writhing on the ground. Coach stands over him and says " Stay down, Now thats how you hit a mother17er, if your grandmothersaw you try totackle like you did she would stomp on your face with a 17in boot" We just all stood there in disbelief trying not to die out laughing.
Week of the state championship a receiver drops a pass. Coach French drops to his knees, folds his handsin front of the player and screams " Son when you go home tonight, I want you to get down on your knees and pray, prayhard to Santa Clause that he brings some 17'in nuts and puts them in your sack this year for Christmas cause the sh*t you got just aint workin" We all died laughing!
Same coach (Jack French is about 5'5" on a good day and prob weighs 150lbs)
Wet, Cold, and pouring outside our senior outside linebacker misses a tackle. Out of no where coach French spears the linbacker with no pads on and lays the guy out. The guy goes to get up and he spears him again. This guy was about 6"2" 215. While player is writhing on the ground. Coach stands over him and says " Stay down, Now thats how you hit a mother17er, if your grandmothersaw you try totackle like you did she would stomp on your face with a 17in boot" We just all stood there in disbelief trying not to die out laughing.
to Coach Gant of Weir after he won his 4th state title- "do they give you a little bitty trophy for winning the title at a little bitty school?" <div>RBDog82 said:
</div><div>In my 1st Coaches Assoc golf Tourney- We got paired with Justice....we got bogged down on the backside- we were in the fairway, hitting into a green....one of the coaches in front of us is taking his time, lining up the putt like it's the 18th at Augusta....Justice got tired of watching it and hollers "If you dont hurry up and putt, I'm going to hit one at your fat, 17'ing head!!!!"....he knew the guy, we were rolling- it was hilarious....</div>
"Boy's every player on Mize's team is bigger, faster, and stronger than anybody we got. Hell some of their sisters would own you in a 40. Now lets get to work."<div>
</div>
</div>
<span> <span> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NLN0xUtkFnU?f=videos&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355" allowScriptAccess="never" ></embed><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Teg5Wx0k6HM?f=videos&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355" allowScriptAccess="never" ></embed></span></span>
Kim Alsop-JA, that's right, 17ing JA, bite me. Most unsympathetic human being i've ever known to ****** athletes. 3 favorites
Sitting in coaches office one day:
Player: Coach, I just wanted to let you know my dad got transferred, and we're moving to Minnesota, so I'm not going to be able to play anymore
Alsop: What do you want me to do? Cry? Die? Sigh?
Player: I messed my knee up bad coach. I can't put any weight on it.
Alsop: What do you want me to do? Tear it off and eat it?
At practice one day, starting RB gets dinged up in a drill
Alsop: Damnit, give me somebody in there we can afford to lose...Paul, get in there!
for reference, I am not Paul.
Sitting in coaches office one day:
Player: Coach, I just wanted to let you know my dad got transferred, and we're moving to Minnesota, so I'm not going to be able to play anymore
Alsop: What do you want me to do? Cry? Die? Sigh?
Player: I messed my knee up bad coach. I can't put any weight on it.
Alsop: What do you want me to do? Tear it off and eat it?
At practice one day, starting RB gets dinged up in a drill
Alsop: Damnit, give me somebody in there we can afford to lose...Paul, get in there!
for reference, I am not Paul.
One day at practice one of the lineman said "I can't get there in time to block'em, coach". Now my coach used to be a lineman himself. Anyway, he looked at the guy and said (while he was shakin' pissed), "Son...if I tell you to stand on your head, **** in yourgirdle, roll the turd down your back, made it do a loop around your ear, then jump in your mouth...you better do it. You hear me???"<div>
</div><div>Needless to say I was running laps after this for laughing my *** off.</div>
</div><div>Needless to say I was running laps after this for laughing my *** off.</div>
evidently several were not happy with their kids amount of playing time and the parents were expressing their dislike for our head coach. After running our asses of he brought us in the locker room and said:
I don't give a **** if any ofyou or your parents like me, you know why? Cause like'n leads tolovin and lovin leads to17'n and I ain't gonna get 17'd by nobody!
This is a 70 year old man smoking about a pack of Pall Mall cigerettes per practice and cussing like he invented the language.. funniest thing I ever heard.
I don't give a **** if any ofyou or your parents like me, you know why? Cause like'n leads tolovin and lovin leads to17'n and I ain't gonna get 17'd by nobody!
This is a 70 year old man smoking about a pack of Pall Mall cigerettes per practice and cussing like he invented the language.. funniest thing I ever heard.
dawgstudent said:
MRA was going thru their state title runs....and in Madison, there was always the debate whether they could have hung with a 5A program like MC...
I didnt play, but i knew him well and all my friends played for him.....that quote was very popular then as well....I don't think MRA could have hung with us that year.....they would compete with more of the 3A schools, but, I don't think they would have stood a chance that year.....
referring to players going to their knees when either blocking or trying to make a tackle "There are only two things you can do on your knees, and one you don't wanna be accused of"
referring to me hitting the fool out of people but not wrapping up. "Boy, you know you knock the fool out of anyone, but you dont finish the job wrapping up. That's like only getting the head in on wedding night"
referring to me hitting the fool out of people but not wrapping up. "Boy, you know you knock the fool out of anyone, but you dont finish the job wrapping up. That's like only getting the head in on wedding night"
once said in his typical high pitched red neck voice "Weeeeee Caaaannnntttt Do S**T riiiiggghhhttt, I believe if we had a snickers bar we'd just throw it on the ground and spiittt on it.<div>
</div><div>Every time I hear that I laugh</div>
</div><div>Every time I hear that I laugh</div>
I have ever heard. Wayne Co was playing at NE Jones one Friday night and WDAM was covering the game. The little sports girl said to Hall as he was walking by "My name is Amber and I will be interviewing the winning coach after the game tonight. " Hall never checked up. He just turned his head as he walked by and said "That will be me, sweetheart".
Mangum is just as bad. He was talking about a WR for the upcoming opponent. Mangum, speaking of the WR's speed said to our DBs, "He's so quick you couldn't catch him in a phone booth. He's quick as a hiccup."
I hate to think how bad it is now that they are together at MC.
Mangum is just as bad. He was talking about a WR for the upcoming opponent. Mangum, speaking of the WR's speed said to our DBs, "He's so quick you couldn't catch him in a phone booth. He's quick as a hiccup."
I hate to think how bad it is now that they are together at MC.
Player: "Coach, I gotta go to the bathroom."
Coach: "Just piss your pants, we'll wash your uniform for ya."
Player: (while running to the bathroom) "BUT, IT'S NUMBER 2!!!"
Another one was when we let some 8th graders play up after their season was over:
Coach: "We're gonna go out and play with heart and determination, and play as hard as we can to win this game."
8th grader: "Kinda like Rudy, right coach?"
Coach: "Who the hell said that?"
8th grader: "(gulp) me."
Coach: "**** no boy, Rudy sucked at football."
One more:
Coach: "I was pulling outta my driveway this morning and saw a crazy lady running after me. It was my wife holding up the newspaper showing me that it was Friday the 13th and there's a full moon out tonight."
Player: "What you talking about coach?"
Coach: "Damnit, we're playing the #2 team in the state in 2A. Anything is possible on Friday the 13th with a full moon."
(We lost like 54-0 that night).
Coach: "Just piss your pants, we'll wash your uniform for ya."
Player: (while running to the bathroom) "BUT, IT'S NUMBER 2!!!"
Another one was when we let some 8th graders play up after their season was over:
Coach: "We're gonna go out and play with heart and determination, and play as hard as we can to win this game."
8th grader: "Kinda like Rudy, right coach?"
Coach: "Who the hell said that?"
8th grader: "(gulp) me."
Coach: "**** no boy, Rudy sucked at football."
One more:
Coach: "I was pulling outta my driveway this morning and saw a crazy lady running after me. It was my wife holding up the newspaper showing me that it was Friday the 13th and there's a full moon out tonight."
Player: "What you talking about coach?"
Coach: "Damnit, we're playing the #2 team in the state in 2A. Anything is possible on Friday the 13th with a full moon."
(We lost like 54-0 that night).
Coach yells, "Manager! Go tell the beaters and blowers to get off the field! We gotta practice!"
my Catholic schoolduring practiceafter a five game losing streak and no hope of winningin sight.....True story.
First one and I still remember it like yesterday.4th grade and I was playing center back when the coaches were on the field during the game calling plays. We lined up and I bent over to snap the ball. when I put my hand on it the nose guard on the other team dove on the ball. The other teams coach yelled "what are you doing. The kid looked up and replied, "he moved the ball." His coach screamed "Son he's the center, it's his job to move the damn ball."
- Status
