• Press Secretary: Taking applications for someone capable of dissuading Kimber Kennedy (13), wife of Mississippi coach Andy Kennedy, from filing her you-cannot-be-serious lawsuit in Cincinnati last week against the cab driver and valet who alleged that Andy Kennedy struck the cabbie and directed racial slurs at him last month. Andy Kennedy was arrested, and Kimber Kennedy's suit alleged that the trauma resulting from the arrest has led to a "lack of consortium." Or, in plain English, it's damaged the Kennedys' sex life. The Minutes' press secretary would gently try to convince Kimber, "THIS IS NOT HELPING." Call a sex therapist, hon. Do not give even more ammo to every student section in the SEC. <span style="font-weight: bold;">(In fact, The Minutes has been apprised of a potential sign when Ole Miss visits rival Mississippi State later this month in Humphrey Coliseum, known as The Hump. "Hey Kennedy, glad you came to Hump. We heard it's been a while.")</span>
