Beginning with a 73-1 dismantling of traditional power Brazil, and continuing through your 179-0 crushing blow to evil empire of the United States, your superb showing will be celebrated for infinite generations. I'd like to personally congratulate Kim Jong-il for setting a tournament and all time World Cup scoring record with 1,259 goals. The 1,259 assists; 782 saves, and 497 women impregnated in South Africa also reflect the passion and dominance of a true warrior. The world looks forward to seeing you on the pitch again in four years, and also eagerly awaits your next 18 holes in one round of golf.
May Kim Jong-il be praised,
Kim Jong-il