SPS tennis update (satire)

patdog

Heisman
May 28, 2007
56,030
25,032
113
<div>Hello Everybody,

I would like to start by saying that fishwater and I played dawgstudent and DaRealistDawg in tennis today. We worked very hard to win the match. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. We lost 6-3, 4-6, 10-7. As you may have guessed it... <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">dawgstudent and DaRealistDawg won</span>, by means of some of the most, <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">underhanded, cowardly, unmanly, unsportsmanlike, </span></span>means possible. <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Please congratulate them, and their <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">slimy, </span>victory, as you see fit.</span> I hope you will take heed of my words... These men (dawgstudent and DaRealistDawg) are not honorable men. DaRealistDawg's phone number is <redacted>. I could not find dawgstudents phone number. He has done a good job of covering his tracks.

However, I have learned that DaRealistDawg has played soccer at a higher level thanany of us coulddream of, (Divison III). As such,he should have never been rated as a 3.5 tennis player.I will file a greivance tomorrow, but it is spearheaded by fishwater. He has an e-mail that proves that DaRealistDawg has played soccer at a higher level than any of us could dream of. Let this be a warning to you... DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING ON ANY SOCIAL NETWORKING WEBSITE OR ANY E-MAILS THAT IS EASILY ACCESSED BY SOMEONE ELSE, AND CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU!

As far as I'm concerned, <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">DAWGSTUDENT</span>and<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">DAREALISTDAWG </span>are the ones that need to be demonized. I'll have to hand it to them though... they were able to use the rating system to their advantage. They definitely slimed their way into the win today. Congratulations, dawgstudent and DaRealistDawg! You have stooped lower than I could have dreamed of!

Sincerely,
patdog

In all seriousness, great match today guys. It was a lot of fun and a perfect day to play. </div>
 
Sep 8, 2004
1,003
5
36
simple. Bring them into the net. Lob over Dawgstudent's partner and it's a sure point. Also make sure you don't hit into Dawgstudent's wheelhouse (aka forehand within 1 step either way), because that's the only shot that can destroy you. Backhand is suspect. Vertical leap - well it's not vertical and don't get me started on that monster second serve. I would feel bad for his partner if he's at the net if Dawgstudent's second serve is coming. Consider this a free scouting report, but anybody with any tennis knowledge would be able to figure this out during warmups. I feel bad that you even posted the score on Sixpack, but I would assume you lost a bet.
 

DaRealistDawg

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
368
6
12
Clearly was DawgStudents overhead at the net, that in of itself, wasfreakish athleticismandI might add, was admired by the ladies playing next to us.
 

fishwater99

Freshman
Jun 4, 2007
14,072
54
48
Mrs. DS better watch out for those tennis cougars........
Patdog is already talking about a rematch...