<div>I had one caller on H2H refer to me as short, and now the Pack consensus is that I'm gay. Solid day in sportswriting, if I don't say so myself.</div><div>
</div><div>Alright, let's play the feud:</div><div>
</div><div>1) The piece is hyperbolic on purpose, meant specifically to be as petty and shortsighted, but with more better writin'. (albeit while I can't coordinate an offense, I can turn a better phrase than Dan)</div><div>
</div><div>2) Why? Because it's supposed to be funny, though likely not to you guys. You don't think it's funny right now (or likely ever), but it's as funny as watching Ole Miss fans act like you don't exist, and then make that smell-a-fart face when the subject of the billboards, TSUN, etc., is brought up. Trust me.</div><div>
</div><div>3) Like I said to Wyatt, like I assure the deluge of maroon and white neighbors in my parents zip code (NWR in the house!), it's all in the name of comedy yes, but good comedy (or my attempt at it) is rooted in truth. The genesis behind the college town PR campaign thing is laughable, petty silliness. I responded with a dose back.</div><div>
</div><div>4) Observe: I hold no ill will towards MSU.You all witnessed that thread.</div><div>
</div><div>5) I don't think DS or HD6 would mind me saying that I spend a good two hours interviewing them earlier this summer for a book I'm working on. I consider them great guys and friends and that jazz.</div><div>
</div><div>6) My favorite coozie is Dave's Dark Horse, still.</div><div>
</div><div>7) If I'm gay, please let my wife know before Saturday, BECAUSE WE'RE PAINTING THE PORCH! FUN! And if I'm leading a secret gay lifestyle that would cost me my marriage, it would be cool if I could be exposed before I have to paint all day. Thanks.</div><div>
</div><div>8) I'm uh... not short, although I'm not sure where we're going at this point, or why height matters.</div><div>
</div><div>9) You can Google all you'd like, but I not only didn't make fun of the "Grinding" article - I supported the guy for writing it. Why? Same reason I wrote this one. It's fun. It's an open forum. People are touchy and sensitive and proud and neurotic, because this is college football in the South.</div><div>
</div><div>10) I defend you a-holes when it's needed, because outside of (YOUR/OUR/WHATEVER) state lines, we all catch a ton of uneducated **** about being from a place we all love.</div><div>
</div><div>In closing, I've got about 20 columns like that one that absolutely eviscerate my alma mater for everything from the delusions of Ivy League grandeur to the embarrassment of Save Col Reb to the fact we could be undefeated going into a night game vs LSU for a shot at the BCS title and the fans would still be 30 minutes late and not wearing or blue to the fact that it's more important to be a breathing J Crew catalog than to be a Rebel.</div><div>
</div><div>I could line your birdcages with fodder to make Ole Miss jokes for months - better ones than you can think of, because I've got the freshest and richest ammo.</div><div>
</div><div>I'll leave you with a reminder - nothing I wrote today involves acronyms or paid advertising, or rally speeches about owning states and things, which at the end of the day, is just as silly as what I did. And we're all cool with that stuff, right?</div><div>
</div><div>One State.</div><div>One Love.</div><div>God Bless Us All.</div><div><div>Smoot For Heisman.</div></div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>
</div><div>Alright, let's play the feud:</div><div>
</div><div>1) The piece is hyperbolic on purpose, meant specifically to be as petty and shortsighted, but with more better writin'. (albeit while I can't coordinate an offense, I can turn a better phrase than Dan)</div><div>
</div><div>2) Why? Because it's supposed to be funny, though likely not to you guys. You don't think it's funny right now (or likely ever), but it's as funny as watching Ole Miss fans act like you don't exist, and then make that smell-a-fart face when the subject of the billboards, TSUN, etc., is brought up. Trust me.</div><div>
</div><div>3) Like I said to Wyatt, like I assure the deluge of maroon and white neighbors in my parents zip code (NWR in the house!), it's all in the name of comedy yes, but good comedy (or my attempt at it) is rooted in truth. The genesis behind the college town PR campaign thing is laughable, petty silliness. I responded with a dose back.</div><div>
</div><div>4) Observe: I hold no ill will towards MSU.You all witnessed that thread.</div><div>
</div><div>5) I don't think DS or HD6 would mind me saying that I spend a good two hours interviewing them earlier this summer for a book I'm working on. I consider them great guys and friends and that jazz.</div><div>
</div><div>6) My favorite coozie is Dave's Dark Horse, still.</div><div>
</div><div>7) If I'm gay, please let my wife know before Saturday, BECAUSE WE'RE PAINTING THE PORCH! FUN! And if I'm leading a secret gay lifestyle that would cost me my marriage, it would be cool if I could be exposed before I have to paint all day. Thanks.</div><div>
</div><div>8) I'm uh... not short, although I'm not sure where we're going at this point, or why height matters.</div><div>
</div><div>9) You can Google all you'd like, but I not only didn't make fun of the "Grinding" article - I supported the guy for writing it. Why? Same reason I wrote this one. It's fun. It's an open forum. People are touchy and sensitive and proud and neurotic, because this is college football in the South.</div><div>
</div><div>10) I defend you a-holes when it's needed, because outside of (YOUR/OUR/WHATEVER) state lines, we all catch a ton of uneducated **** about being from a place we all love.</div><div>
</div><div>In closing, I've got about 20 columns like that one that absolutely eviscerate my alma mater for everything from the delusions of Ivy League grandeur to the embarrassment of Save Col Reb to the fact we could be undefeated going into a night game vs LSU for a shot at the BCS title and the fans would still be 30 minutes late and not wearing or blue to the fact that it's more important to be a breathing J Crew catalog than to be a Rebel.</div><div>
</div><div>I could line your birdcages with fodder to make Ole Miss jokes for months - better ones than you can think of, because I've got the freshest and richest ammo.</div><div>
</div><div>I'll leave you with a reminder - nothing I wrote today involves acronyms or paid advertising, or rally speeches about owning states and things, which at the end of the day, is just as silly as what I did. And we're all cool with that stuff, right?</div><div>
</div><div>One State.</div><div>One Love.</div><div>God Bless Us All.</div><div><div>Smoot For Heisman.</div></div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>
