The DDDY V Final: Forrest Moore vs. Cecil Newton

[615dawg]

EPIC DOUCHE.

The DDDY V Final. Neither douche has been tested so far.

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cecil Newton
</span>Preliminaries: 117 votes, division winner, No. 2 overall seed
Quarterfinals: def. Cam Newton 132-42
Semifinals: def. CJ Johnson 161-36
Total DDDY Votes: 410

During the DDDY V season, Cecil Newton openly admitted to shopping his
son out to MSU, but brazenly denied doing so to Auburn, although public
perception would suggest otherwise. Cecil is a leading character in a
saga that has played itself out over the last two years, earning him a
spot in the DDDY tournament both years.

Despite a first round matchup with his infamous son, Cecil cruised to a
victory to earn a place in a semifinal where he surprisingly faced CJ
Johnson, who many felt upset Ole Miss Grad in the opening round. Where
Ole Miss Grad was expected to give Cecil all he could handle, CJ just
couldn't hang with the douchiness of Cecil and was beaten in a
doucheslide.

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Forrest Moore</span>
Preliminaries: 118 votes, division winner, No. 1 overall seed
Quarterfinals: def. Paul Finebaum 143-35
Semifinals: def. defending champion Mike Slive 130-62
Total DDDY Votes: 391

Forrest earned the top seed by being a douchebag. Despite an ERA of over
9.00, Forrest and his dad felt like he was destined for the majors.
Until John Cohen came along and broke his arm, kicked his dog and cost
him his career. What else does he do? He sues Cohen and MSU for $14
million, and as an added bonus, the papers are served prior to a pivotal
baseball game in Oxford.

Paul Finebaum gave little competition in the first round, but many felt
Mike Slive was primed for DoucheBACK to DoucheBACK titles. Forrest took
care of that in convincing fashion to earn a spot in the epic DDDY V
Final.

Vote Here: http://sixpackspeak.yuku.com?topic=69151/master/1/
<span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>

 

[UpTheMiddlex3Punt]

A "man of God" d-bag vs. a "one of our own" d-bag.

 

[gtowndawg]

I'm not sure what to do. Can we go to old college football rules and allow a tie?

 

[thunderclap]

Gonna be tough.

 

[Shmuley]

nm

 

[Mr Meoff]

One called us a ***** and slapped our face, then laughed about it all the way to the Heisman ceremony, the National Championship, and the NFL draft. This was national-stage bad press for MSU, caused by a preachermane whoring out his son to the highest bidder... Hard to top that for World Class douchery.<div>
</div><div>The other is just your normal, everyday, run of the mill douche who, like thousands of others in today's society, bought into a get-rich-quick story being sold by scheister lawyers. This guy happened to wear an MSU jersey at one time, so it does feel worse. But he won't win, and it won't amount to much in the end, so I can see me not even remembering this in 5 years. There's someone suing McDonald's for their coffee being too hot on every street corner in Jackson, which makes it way too common to earn this special distinction.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>CECIL NEWTON FOR DDDY '11</div><div>Ridin that Mule since 1989</div>

 

[QuaoarsKing]

Cecil Newton had his hand out, but he didn't specifically have it out for us. We just happened to be the unlucky school who didn't put up the $$.<div>
</div><div>Moore is my vote.</div>

 

[DerHntr]

</p>

 

[HammerOfTheDogs]

...the Ole Miss people <font color="#505050">are fractured.</font>

 

[615dawg]

This is only the second ever 1-2 final. In 2009, #2 seed Dustin Dawg knocked off #1 seed Ron Polk, weeks after the punched in the stomach/take my name off the stadium comments. That was a huge upset.

Last year, #5 seed Mike Slive defeated #3 seed Pat Forde 126-66 for the title in the year of upsets in the DDDY. Four of the seven matchups were won by lower seeds, including DiamondReb's exciting 8-1 upset of Coach34.

Mike Slive, Cecil Newton and Ole Miss Grad joined Coach34 as the only entrants ever to make multiple DDDY fields. Coach34 was in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th editions of the DDDY, never advancing past the quarterfinal round. Slive, Newton (2010) and Ole Miss Grad (2009) have each made two fields of douche.

 

[AssEndDawg]

produce a trophy and send it to the winner, or hell make DS keep it and bring it for tailgates for pics like the EggBowl trophy. I know they wouldn't appreciate it but I would feel better knowing that somewhere in the world is a piece of hardware commemorating this honor.

 

[615dawg]

The Golden ****, presented annually to the winner of the DDDY. Legend has it that it is actually a **** taken by Derek Dunn - in the handicapped stall.

 

[AssEndDawg]

I had no idea. If that thing is real give me the dimensions and some info on all the past winners. I will make a base for it and get a plaque engraved and mounted on the base after this vote is over. Something tasteful of course.

 

[aTotal360]

 

[Maroon Eagle]

Wins in the closest contest of this year's tournament with just under 52 percent of the vote.</p>

 

[UpTheMiddlex3Punt]

Put Cecil's head where John Edward's head is and $180k where the flowers are, with a peepin' Mullen in the background.