Gold.
"Isn't this kind of dangerous?" I asked. "What are the side effects?"
Coach Mac snatched the container back from me and inspected the label on the back. His eyes grew wide. "Oh dear," he said gravely. "It says here that 'side effects may include getting 17n huge, with occasional bouts of manliness.'" He shoved the can of creatine back in my arms. "Stop being such a Sally and take out your tampon. Get with the goddam program."