You're probably not going to believe this, but I woke up one night and saw an alien standing at the foot of my bed. Classic short, gray skin, big head, huge slanted eyes, and a slit mouth. At first I thought it was just a ghost. I've had a problem with them as well.
Anyway, I pulled a .357 Magnum from my nightstand. I'm a fast draw, so he didn't have time to reach for his ray gun. The little bastard let out a high pitched squeal and took off down the stairs.
I chased him into my back yard where he popped the hatch on his flying saucer, jumped in, and took off at warp speed leaving a rainbow streak in the sky.
I think he wanted to do sexual experiments on me or something, but I don't identify with that crap.