Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 3-star player?
Ted: Yeah, sure, the 3-star player. Yeah, the football recruit.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 2... star... players.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a school, you see a 3-star player sittin' there, there's a 2-star player right beside him. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 2.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 2-star players. And we guarantee just as good a player as the 3-star folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 2 stars, we're gonna send you the extra star free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 1-star players. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 1! I said 2. Nobody's comin' up with 1. Who recruits 1-stars? Not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 2's the key number here. Think about it. 2-pac, 1-2 buckle my shoe. 2, that's the number. 2 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're 17'n fired!