What's the closest you've ever came to dying?

[Blu-ish]

My friend and I was making out with this Mother/Daughter duo. I drew the daughter. Just as I finally got her naked, car headlights went across the bedroom. She jumped up, looked out the window and said Oh, **** Daddys home! I think I was a Sr in High School. I went out the back door and hid under the deck. I could hearing screaming and crying and stuff breaking as I lay there in total darkness afraid to move. I heard the back door open and the guy come under the deck towards me. Once he got close enough I hit him with a board and took off crawling. I made it to the car and took off. My friend was running across the yard toward the car so I slowed down and let him in. He was bloody and beaten. I told him "i told you we shouldn't have come here, that guy beat the hell out of you". He said " He never seen me, I escaped out the back, went to hide under the deck and hit my head on a pipe or something". 5 yrs later I told him it was me that mistakenly hit him in the head thinking he was the dad coming after me.

Funny as hell. I am going to borrow this story. I will change the names to protect the innocent.

 

[calismyhero]

I was at my apartment at the time, that shot went in, I fell to the floor, swear to God I laid there 2 hours, carpet smelled like ****, it was a Tiger striped orange carpet. My brother came over, he cancelled a date he had with a hot chick, pulled me up off the floor, I had tiger striped carpet fibers stuck to my face. We both sat there, my wife was somewhere in the apartment, so was my 3 month old kid but I was lost. I subjected myself to watching the news at 11. I watched kyt, lex, 36, 3, 11, 32, 56 all of them to see if it was just a nightmare. When I saw them in the UK lockerroom after the game, Pelphrey, Feldhaus etc., I cried all over again. I never have nor will I ever re-watch that game. It’s torture just watching the CBS clip. But then, from those ashes, we rose up. I was never, still not, ever more proud of a team than that one. I was young at the time, had no idea the ups and downs I would have as I grew older but that game, those few hours, were a lightning bolt for me. From that game, and from those players, coaches, and fans, I learned humility, grace, hard work, perseverance, dedication, forgiveness, almost every emotion a person can experience. I knew that night that God had placed all of us in that moment. He was telling us that things would get better, that sometimes when you lose, you really win, and He also told us to never, ever give up on life. I can’t remember what my wife yelled at me to do yesterday but I can remember every moment of that night, in its entirety. I refused to allow myself to even think we were going to win that game. We were 11 point underdogs. I remember Dale Brown hitting shot after shot, Sean Woods, Deron Feldhaus battling Laettner down low, Pelphrey with clutch shot after clutch shot and Jamal Mashburn just doing things I’ve never seen a big man do. I didn’t understand what I was watching at the time but I sure do appreciate being allowed to do so.

 

[Backer cutter]

I was at my apartment at the time, that shot went in, I fell to the floor, swear to God I laid there 2 hours, carpet smelled like ****, it was a Tiger striped orange carpet. My brother came over, he cancelled a date he had with a hot chick, pulled me up off the floor, I had tiger striped carpet fibers stuck to my face. We both sat there, my wife was somewhere in the apartment, so was my 3 month old kid but I was lost. I subjected myself to watching the news at 11. I watched kyt, lex, 36, 3, 11, 32, 56 all of them to see if it was just a nightmare. When I saw them in the UK lockerroom after the game, Pelphrey, Feldhaus etc., I cried all over again. I never have nor will I ever re-watch that game. It’s torture just watching the CBS clip. But then, from those ashes, we rose up. I was never, still not, ever more proud of a team than that one. I was young at the time, had no idea the ups and downs I would have as I grew older but that game, those few hours, were a lightning bolt for me. From that game, and from those players, coaches, and fans, I learned humility, grace, hard work, perseverance, dedication, forgiveness, almost every emotion a person can experience. I knew that night that God had placed all of us in that moment. He was telling us that things would get better, that sometimes when you lose, you really win, and He also told us to never, ever give up on life. I can’t remember what my wife yelled at me to do yesterday but I can remember every moment of that night, in its entirety. I refused to allow myself to even think we were going to win that game. We were 11 point underdogs. I remember Dale Brown hitting shot after shot, Sean Woods, Deron Feldhaus battling Laettner down low, Pelphrey with clutch shot after clutch shot and Jamal Mashburn just doing things I’ve never seen a big man do. I didn’t understand what I was watching at the time but I sure do appreciate being allowed to do so.

Dang. And I thought my miller light bottle miss from ten feet was worthy anguish.