7 Fast Thoughts And One Furious Note On Furious 7

Megan Suttlesover 6 years


Aritcle written by:Megan SuttlesMegan Suttles
  Fast_Furious_7 Furious 7 isn't a high-brow film.  After a devastating loss on Saturday, I needed to see some cars parachute out of a plane. I needed to see a grown man flex out of a cast. I needed to say “no way that could happen” and not “no way, did that just happen?” Furious 7 didn’t disappoint. Here are a few thoughts on the film as well as one angry note. 1. The Trailer: Not all movie trailers are created equal. Some show all of their jokes upfront in the preview (This is the End.) Some portray the film in the wrong genre (The 5 Year Engagement) Not Furious 7. Even though there is the world’s best moment in all of previews for F7 (Paul Walker parkour-ing on a bus falling off of a cliff) there is still more left to see in the movie. MoleRat 2. Vin Diesel = Naked Mole Rat: Every time I see Vin Diesel, he reminds me of a naked mole rat. Throughout the whole film, I would wonder why is a rodent wearing human clothes? How did he learn to drive? Who changes the cedar chips in his cage? *I’m just kidding, Vin. Don’t send your family of speed-racing criminals to me. I only drive a Kia.  Kia car-owners are more accostomed to hamsters driving their cars. 3. A Clinic on Coordinating: Have you ever tried to coordinate an event? A bake sale? A group of friends? A classroom of children? It never goes as planned. There aren’t enough brownies. Someone doesn’t show up. Someone always has to go to the bathroom. What’s lovely about Furious 7 is there are rarely hiccups to the plan. If someone is supposed to meet under the bridge…they meet under the bridge. It is a wonderful change of pace from real life, where things typically don’t go according to plan. 4. Crazy Camera Angles: Throughout the film, the production crew used a technique where the camera completes a full 360 degree turn as the person is thrown to the ground. It is as if the CBS camera crew from the NCAA tournament is in charge of the film angles. CGI Paul Walker 5. CGI-Believability: I believe American Sniper ‘s babygate lowered everyone’s standards for potential stand-ins in movies. For the most part, I didn’t think the CGI creation of Paul Walker detracted from the film. Paul Walker's digitally remastered face in the final moments of the film aren't as jarring as the completely unmolested white Toyota Supra "he's" driving. Where are the goofy vinyl graphics, ridiculous wings, silly wheels?1 6. F7 Commits: *spoiler alert* Furious 7 isn’t going to win an Oscar. The movie does, however, know what type of movie it is and it commits. The film suspends what would actually happen in reality and allows the story to cheat a little for the purpose of entertainment.  Take Vin Diesel's bottomless pit of classic muscle cars, for example. If this were real life, he would have a ban placed against him by every classic car auction known to man.2 7. A Touching Ending: Paul Walker’s final scene is handled appropriately. Even though it may or may not be his actual face, the sentiment is sweet. You can tell the film is crafted by people who love and miss Paul Walker. One Furious Note:  One of the best and simultaneously cringe-wrothy moments of the movie is when Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson delivers the line, "Woman, I AM the cavalry."  I laughed, but I didn't want to.  I thought I had some self-respect and girl-power. Now, my husband likes to begin requests with the phrase.  I don't laugh then.  I do, however, look forward to the day when I meet the The Rock and I have the chance to say, "Dwayne, don't call ME woman."   1 This comes from my brother who might have the most opinions about automobiles 2 Another sassy comment from my brother. He’s a lot of fun to go on long car trips with, until he’s not  

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