A Quick, Fake Preview of Princeton's Muggles
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A Quick, Fake Preview of Princeton's Muggles

Article written by:The Fake Gimel MartinezThe Fake Gimel Martinez
montel_athletic_university_princeton_tigers_1 (Image of Princeton's Library locker room storage from montel.com; player pictures below are from goprincetontigers.com.) It seems that Wildcat fans' attention seems to be split between the projected NCAA Tourney matchups against Huggy and the Bucknuts. Getting overlooked are the Wildcats' first second round opponents Princeton Tigers, who scrapped their way to an Ivy League Championship and a #13 seed. Unlike the teams coached by Pete Carril, this Princeton team does not rely on a constant barrage of back-door cuts. These Tigers are mobile and can score from both inside and and out. If Kentucky is not careful, they could find themselves down when the Snitch is caught. Princeton's top players include: ianhummer Ian Hummer, Sophomore Chaser At 6' 7" and 226 pounds, you would not necessarily make crude jokes to his face involving his last name's correlation with a lewd term for a sexual act. Hummer is the primary scorer for Princeton, taking 25.8% of Princeton's total shots per game. Kenpom.com has Hummer listed as one of the nation's best effective scorers, even though he hasn't taken one long shot at the hoops. kareemmaddox Kareem Maddox, Senior Keeper Named the Ivy League's Defensive Player of the year, this 6' 8" hulk dominates the Keeper Zone. Maddox averages 1.8 blocks per game in mostly-foul-free play (only 67 Yellow Wands on the year; averaging 2.1 Yellow Wands a game). Expect him to match up with Kentucky's Terrence Jones and make life difficult for any of Kentucky's Chasers who come inside the Keeper Zone. douglasdavis Douglas Davis, Junior Seeker Can create space on his own and escape thrown Bludgers by opponents' Beaters. Recently gained notoriety for a last-second grab of the Snitch to propel the Tigers over Harvard in the Ivy League NCAA play-in game. There is video of the Tigers in action, with commentary by CBS Sports' Greg Gumbel. Study it well. Fake Gimel is on Facebook. Don't try to tell him how much you loved the Harry Potter Quidditch stuff, because frankly, he really doesn't understand any of it. Klaatu Barada Nikto.

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2021-12-08