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Chuck Hayes --- The Electric Man

by:Matt Jones08/09/06
Maybe its just me, but the news this summer for Kentucky sports has been a bit odder than usual. And none of the stories are quite as odd as this underreported one from a few days ago. It seems that everybody's favorite rebounder, Chuck Hayes was attending the Tracy McGrady Charity Softball Classic (where in an interesting decision, McGrady let no one hit but himself and refused to pitch to Yao Ming) when he was shocked by some electric wires. Hayes was apparently knocked out for a moment, but ultimately ended up fine. It is very odd to think that someone with Chuck Hayes' intelligence could be shocked by electric wires, since he is....well, older than 10. But yet it happened. In other news, Charlie Creech heard the news and said, "thats what you get when you have Tubby as coach. Coach K always teaches his players the difference between those materials that can and cant conduct electricity. And the players that Tubby Smith has kept from being electrocuted were Pitino recruits. What does that tell you?" Tom Gray responded to the news by saying, "you know the news is not all that surprising considering the plethora of electricity related accidents we have in this country. For instance, in 2002, 1.3 percent of people under the age of 30 were involved in some type of electricity accident. So when you think about it, it is a sign of how good a mentor Tubby is that no one has been electrocuted yet. Last I heard, Tom Izzo has had 16 percent of his players have electric shock." Greg Hoover was quoted as saying, "I guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that Keith Bogans will be electrocuted tomorrow. No question, my source swears on his life." The Turkey Hunter responded by saying, "If Chuck Hayes was a fat girl, I would be much more interested in this story."

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