Headband Theory

by:Patrick Barker01/12/10
headband This has been a while coming.  Before KSR, the one thing I was known for (among my friends and a certain Kentucky-based message board) was my well-developed, well-researched Headband Theory. I've spent countless hours pondering the limits of this theory and finding examples, and due to circumstances in the Georgia game on Saturday, I think the timing to right to present it to you, KSR Nation. The Theory is simple.  Players who wear a headband are more likely to run afoul of the law, have more off-court issues and generally not live up to their potential as players. Sure, there are outliers that don't conform to the Theory (LeBron and Rondo being the most obvious), but keep in mind that just because a guy wears a headband doesn't make him trouble, it just means he's more inclined for trouble.  Also, this theory mostly pertains to the NBA.  A few college folks can fall into it, but it mostly looks at behaviors in the NBA. So while you think about the merits of my theory, allow me to provide you with examples: Kwame Brown (disorderly conduct, sexual assault) Andray Blatche (solicitation, reckless driving) Ron Mercer (assault) Carmelo Anthony (possession, DUI, Stop Snitchin') Jamaal Tinsley (battery, disorderly conduct) Stephen Jackson (assault, battery, disorderly conduct) Allen Iverson (take your pick) Rasheed Wallace (assault, marijuana possession) Eddie Griffin (RIP) Zach Randolph (possession, reckless driving) Bassy Telfair (felony possession of a weapon) Qyntel Woods (the Original Michael Vick) Maquis Daniels (battery disorderly conduct) Danny Fortson (disorderly conduct) Bonzi Wells (criminal tresspassing) Lee Nailon (marijuana possession, domestic violence) Chris Webber (DUI, resisting) Marcus Fizer (gun crimes) JR Smith (assault, tons of moving violations) Chris Andersen (drugs, drugs, drugs) Rafer Alston (assault, stabbed someone allegedly) Brad Miller (substance abuse violations) Jason Richardson (domestic violence, DUI) Now keep in mind these are just a few examples.  I have over 75 all together.  Ask me sometime if you want a full rundown.  I suppose we could also put Tyler Smith on this list now, too. As far as I know, we've never had a player at the University of Kentucky wear a headband until this season.  And I cannot stress enough that I don't believe Boogie is a candidate to fall onto the list of knuckleheads above.  But we did see something very interesting on Saturday against Georgia.  When his headband was knocked off in the second half, and he chose to continue to play without it, we saw a different Boogie.  He played efficiently, intelligently and perhaps best of all, dominantly.  I think the headband was holding him back.  So, Boogie, do the right thing.  In light of your second half performance against Georgia and my Theory, ditch the headband. That is, if you want.  Um, sir.

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