KSR Bachelor Top Tweets: It's About to Be A What? GIRL FIGHT!!

by:Aaron Flener•02/18/14•

AFlenerKSR

clarenikki

 

Good morning to Bachelor fans AND all of you who hate my guts.  I hope everyone had a great day yesterday celebrating our Presidents.  For those of you who don’t like this post, allow me to share a quote from our first President, George Washington:

““If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.”

I think what George was trying to say to me here (I could be wrong) was “Aaron, if you want to write about the Bachelor you can. You have that freedom. If you don’t take advantage of it you may as well be killed.” So give me a break, haters. I don’t want to be led to any sort of slaughter, especially one that is my own. So I will continue to write about this show every week.  And I will use help. Continuing the President theme, Woodrow Wilson once said:

“I not only use all the brains that I have but all that I can borrow.”

Tonight I will once again be posting the top tweets I come up with, as well as borrowing the best I come across.

Last night the girls remaining on the Bachelor traveled to Miami and went on dates with our favorite non English speaking Bachelor, Juan Pablo.  Upon arriving in Miami, Juan Pablo goes to visit his family and his daughter Camilia. He walks in the house and whistles for Camilia. Not a bad strategy, considering she might not understand the things he says.

Speaking of not understanding English, I had a question about the date cards.

I really hope this is what happens…

The first one on one date went to Sharleen. She was less than thrilled.

After being unexcited, she got on a yacht with him and they made out a lot.

I like this part, because I totally get “yacht dates.” Go on them all the time.

 

You won’t believe this, but after they made out on the yacht they made out in the water. Just kidding, you’d totally believe it.

Nikki wonders if Juan Pablo and Sharleen are talking about anything.

Sharleen also realizes they talk about nothing.

After his date with Sharleen, Nikki gets a one on one date. Juan Pablo takes her to meet his parents, his baby momma, and his daughter. His daughter is performing a dance recital. Nikki is wearing what amounts to denim boy shorts and a deep v-neck t-shirt.

Juan Pablo had this semi english statement to say to Nikki as they sat near the pitcher’s mound:

“If the moon and the skies and everyone else wants us to be together. Then it is.” We need the guy from the AT&T commercials to be around when Juan Pablo is talking to say things like “I follow you.”

After Nikki’s date, which consisted of them going to the Marlins’ stadium, things get fun with Sharleen. Sharleen has decided the Bachelor format is not conducive for her finding forever love. In general terms, I believe she thinks Juan Pablo is stupid and doesn’t want to introduce him to her family. I can’t argue to the contrary.

 

Sharleen informs the girls that she is leaving and then she goes to break the news to Juan Pablo. What happens next is an odd interaction that was completely whispered.

Juan Pablo isn’t happy with the news of Sharleen’s departure, but he makes an excellent observation.

Of course, this next tweet is also a possibility…

 

Sharleen leaves, but not before she says what every girl is always thinking.

Next up is a group date. Juan Pablo, Andi, Clare, Renee, and Chelsie. Andi gets the rose and gets to continue on the date alone with Juan Pablo. This did not thrill Clare, as she had just opened up to Juan Pablo about the video her Dad made for her future husband. Here are Turkey Hunter’s hope for that video.

And here are a couple smoking hot takes on why Clare did not receive a rose…

 

Since Clare, Renee, and Chelsie did not receive a rose, they head back to the palatial hotel to join Nikki. Clare, still not thrilled with being kicked off the date, is complaining to the other girls. Nikki, who hates Clare and doesn’t want to hear it, decides to head upstairs. Clare, who is “not okay with her being a b****,” follows her and it leads to an all time great Bachelor confrontation. This is what I promised shortly after it happened.

This isn’t the end of the show and doesn’t cover the rose ceremony. Just know that Chelsie gets sent home and the previews show all  four girls crying next week. But as promised, I’m going to end this post with one of the greatest arguments in the history of disagreements. Also known as a “What? GIRL FIGHT!”

Clare: “Nikki, can I talk to you for a second?”

Nikki: “Sure.”

Clare: “What was that about? What just happened? I’m confused.”

Nikki: “I just, like, I mean, I don’t feel like I’m like… I don’t like sit around while everyone is like talking s*** about my friend (Andi) and I feel like…”

Clare: “What did I say that was talking s***?”

Nikki: “I didn’t say you were talking s***.”

Clare: “Who was talking s***?”

Nikki: “I just… you interrupted.”

Clare: “Who was talking s*** down there?”

Nikki: “You interrupted. Ummmm… I was gonna say that like that’s where it was headed and I just didn’t want to be a part of it.”

Clare: “Who was talking s***?”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Clare would like to know who was talking s***.*

Nikki: “Nobody was talking s***. I said…”

Clare: “So what made you think we were talking s*** or it was leading in that direction?

Nikki: “I just… I just didn’t want to be a part of the conversation. Like I didn’t.”

Clare:  “Why?”

Nikki: “Because I just didn’t. Like I just… I didn’t feel like I had anything to add and… and… I just didn’t want to be a part of it and that’s that.”

Clare: “When you were sitting down there earlier and we were talking about how like what a bummer it was to not get a rose you were sitting  there like laughing.”

Nikki: “No there was nothing… like, I…”

Clare: “Can you not cut me off for a sec?”

Nikki: “Oh. Okay. *nodding*”

Clare: “It’s all fun and games and funny to you when it’s, like, our stuff. But when it’s something personal to you, you get up and leave.”

Nikki: “It had nothing to do with me.”

Clare: “Can you please not cut me off?”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Clare does not want to be cut off.*

Clare: “Why are you laughing?”

Nikki: “I, I just, Clare I have nothing to say to you. Like, let’s be honest, like, I don’t like you, we’re never going to be friends. You can just excuse yourself from my room.”

Clare: “I can excuse myself?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Clare: “This is ALL of our suite.”

Nikki: “Oh, is your stuff in here? *looks around for Clare’s stuff*   *doesn’t find it*”

Clare: “This is not YOUR room.”

Nikki: “Oh it’s not? Do you sleep in here?”

Clare: “Did you pay for it?”

Nikki: “Do you sleep in here?”

Clare: “Did you pay for it?”

Nikki: “No, did you?”

Clare: “No. So it’s neither of our rooms.”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: It is KSR’s belief that ABC paid for the room.*

Nikki: “Okay.”

Clare: “So it’s open space.”

Nikki: “Great.”

Clare: “Just wanted to clarify that.”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Hell of a pun by Clare right there.*

Nikki: “Please do.”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: She already did.*

Clare: “I’m just confused, like, I wanted to come talk to you because if it was anything I said…”

Nikki: That’s not how you approached this. You approached it like attacking me and you approached it as…”

Clare: “I came up here, Nikki, to see if there is something I said to somebody that offends them that’s my doing then I’m the first to be not wanting them to feel bad.”

Nikki: “WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU? Like, it’s not about you. I just didn’t want to be apart of the conversation. I didn’t want to be apart of a conversation with you, Renee, or Chelsie.”

Clare: “This isn’t about me. This is actually I came out of my way to come talk to you. So I’m actually…”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: She walked up a flight of stairs.*

Nikki: “Cause YOU felt bad that YOU offended me and like YOU felt like YOU had to come apologize.”

Clare: “I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

Nikki: “I don’t feel bad. Like…”

Clare: “When you get up in the mid sentence of a conversation and walk out. And maybe you don’t feel bad…”

Nikki: “I don’t.”

Clare: “Maybe that’s where I’m totally wrong?”

Nikki: “You are.”

Clare: “My bad for misunderstanding you. You’re a piece of work Nikki.”

Nikki: “You’re f****** crazy.”

 

*EDITOR’S NOTE: LOL*

 

@AFlenerKSR

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