KSR Staff= 1996 Cats

Bryan the Internalmost 12 years

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Aritcle written by:Bryan the InternBryan the Intern
With the addition of the blogger winners (sans Kate, in my opinion), I think we have built quite the dynasty here at KSR.  In fact, I would dare to say that we may have the best blogging staff in Kentucky history.  We brought this up during the 24-minute live blog marathon last week, but we didn't go into greater details about which blogger relates to which player on the 1996 UK national title team.  Matt Jones (Tony Delk) -Look, Matt's in the rafters, there is no doubt.  He's the senior leader on our little team here, but he's not afraid to dish out the responsibility to the rest of us minions.  But when in comes time for a clutch post, Matt is guy to go to.  Also, if you have ever met Matt, he has freakishly long arms.  BTI (Mark Pope) -White, goofy, has fantastic game (post) every 3 or 4 days.  He was the only true center that played on that team.  I am the only true genius that writes for the site.  And rumor has always been that Pope pulled the most tail on that team, and so the comparison basically goes without saying. Kate Martin (Ron Mercer) -The new hotshot kid on the block.  We don't depend on Kate to do alot here at KSR, but when we do call on her, she brings it big time.  Also, Kate has a great mid-range game, like Mercer. The question is: is there an innuendo in that statement or can Kate actually hit a 12-foot jumper?  I will let your perverted minds ponder that.  Look for her role to increase as she gets more experience (i.e. Mercer's sophomore year) and then expect her to bolt soon after because she just gets too good for us.  Have fun playing for the terrible Celtics Kate! Thomas Beisner (Antoine Walker) -If you think about it, Beinser is still somewhat a young writer here at KSR.  But, he is probably the best on the team.  Hate saying that, because he is a real douche, and this will only inflate him, but I always guessed Walker to be kinda douchey, so it works.  Also, Beisner throws around money like its bird feed in Central Park, and he has his own version of shoulder shake dance thing.  I know too that the person who actually oversees the site (Johnny Bruce aka Rick Pitino) is constantly not amused by Beisner, and has called for his benching often.  Nonetheless, I guess Beisner is good at this thing they call blogging, which is something that always attracts the ladies. Jeremy Jarmon (Jared Prickett) -Well, he sorta started writing for this site, kinda like Prickett sorta played for that team (5 games). Patrick Barker (Nazr Mohammed) -If you remember, Nazr wasn't exactly a fan favorite with the Big Blue Nation at the beginning of his career, which I can safely say has been Patrick's start here at KSR.  I have not met Patrick yet, but I do picture him being very overweight, which was Nazr's problem too.  But, after a while, expect Patrick to step up and become a key cog here at KSR.  He is the Matt's pet project. Aaron link's (Derek Anderson) -Hello?  Transfers?  This was the easiest comparison I could make.  Aaron moved over to our site and has taken it to another level, while also providing nightly production, much like Anderson.  I also fully expect Aaron to "blow out his knee" sometime in the future, which in the blogging world means making some racially insensitive statement or something. Fake Gimel (Allen Edwards) -Edwards played in every game that season but 1.  Fake Gimel posts practically every day here at KSR.  Despite playing so much, Edwards only scored 3PPG that season.  Fake Gimel, despite posting so often, rarely puts anything good on the site.  I kid because I love.  I think Fake Gimel is often the forgotten key to KSR.  If you actually count posts, FGM might be just behind Matt and Beisner.  And Edwards was often the forgotten guy during that era.    Tomlin (Oliver Simmons) -Tomlin posts once a week on the site, but god forbid its a classic EVERY SINGLE TIME.  And basically, when Oliver Simmons came in the game, something good was gonna happen.  And the funny white guy comparison is too difficult to pass up.  Also, Simmons loved to get out in front of Wildcat Lodge and plant some lovely begonias in the garden, and Tomlin the green thumb of KSR.  Rob Gidel (Anthony Epps) -What can you say about Rob Gidel.  Has the guy ever had a bad post in the last 2 years?  He is the most informative, insightful writer here, and especially on the football front, the glue that holds the site together.  Epps was the glue guy of that 1996 team, often dishing to his more talented teammates to rack up the points.  Also, Rob is a bit of a crier, much like Epps after the 1997 title game. Will Lentz (Jason Lathrem) Christopher Johns (Cameron Mills) Drew Franklin (Jeff Sheppard) -I am pretty sure all 3 of these guys are white, and all 3 of the UK players were white.  That's really all I got. Dustin Rumbaugh (Winston Bennett) -The recruiter of the coaching staff.  Dustin is our recruiting expert.  Also, I ran out of white players, and all players for that matter, to compare him to, so we will just go with Bennett.  I feel bad about this comparison because Rumbaugh will undoubtably be bitchin about this during the next KSR party.  But you know what Rumbaugh, you follow around sweaty high school players all your life and you went to PRP High School, and thats just a double whammy for me. Original Intern (Walter McCarty) -One of the old dogs here at KSR, as McCarty was one of the seniors on that team.  Intern (John Wilkerstacey) is a flashy poster, but doesn't bring the consistent content that other (throat clearing....BTI) writers bring.  But, he is still a loved member of our team here, and I guess is a leader of some sort.  At least I think he sent me a congrats email when I started writing 2 years ago, I really don't open his mail.  I would say that McCarty's forever remembered highlight was the 3 to beat LSU, while Intern will forever be remembered for his UofL ghetto post.  I am really stretching for content here, if you can't tell.  Ummmm.....I also think when Pitnio went to UL, Intern's fanhood went too. Rob Radio Roundup (Wayne Turner) -Seriously, Turner was on that team?  Seriously, Rob Jones the UL fan wrote for this site?  Could have fooled me.

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2021-09-17