New <i>Terminator 5</i> Casting and Plot Rumors Are Less Than Encouraging

I’ll admit at the outset that I’m a huge fan of The Terminator.  The first film is an absolutely gripping work.  Modern audiences may be desensitized to certain elements of violence and surprise, but if you really try to put yourself in Sarah Connor’s shoes–young woman being hunted by an unstoppable machine that looks human, protected by an actual human soldier, both from a post-apocalyptic future in which her son saves mankind–this is a terrifying movie, so much so that the movie made it into the Library of Congress’s National Film Registry, and Arnold’s Terminator is ranked by the American Film Institute as the 22^nd best villain in American cinema.   I’ve seen it probably 50 times, most recently this last Saturday.  The only thing I would change is the Harryhausen-looking effects at certain points, which seem strange now mostly because the director was current CGI evangelist James Cameron.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day was a fitting sequel, a film that every teenage boy I knew decreed Best Movie EVAR!  In rewatching it, though, one can see early signs of Cameron starting to lean toward effects over plot and character.  Seriously, watch T2 again with an eye toward any sort of character development that isn’t Sarah’s last-minute begrudging admission of Arnold’s OK-ness.  And how the hell did anyone think Edward Furlong’s John Connor was anything more than a whiny prick?  Anyway, people ate it up, and this time, Arnold’s Termie was so beloved that AFI named him the 48^th best HERO in American film history.

A 12-year hiatus ended with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines in 2003.  Many hardcore Terminator fans consider this an abomination, not least because it was directed by Not James Cameron (Jonathan Mostow).  I don’t hate it with such vehemence, mostly because it was a decent action movie that just shouldn’t have been part of the Terminator series.  I would have had no problem with the movie if it had been called something like Rip-Roarin’ Battle Bots from the Future!  (However, I will argue in later post that T3’s storyline is better than T2’s, so it’s not a total loss.)  But it definitely didn’t live up to Terminator standards.

Had the Terminator series been allowed to die there, I could have accepted that.  But no, there was still apparently money to be made off of its cold, twisted hyper-alloy combat chassis.  Terminator Salvation started off with some genuinely exciting news–Christian Bale as John Connor, a supposed mind-blowing twist, a great trailer–but ended up being a steaming turd of unnecessarity.  This, after the disappointments that were the new Star Warses, the Matrix sequels, and the cancellation the excellent Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  I didn’t think it could get worse for the Terminator fan.

And then I heard rumors about Terminator 5.  Slated for release in 2015, we don’t even know the plot yet.  Supposedly in-the-know speculation has it being anything from I in the 1950s, to protecting Sarah Connor as she grows up, to the appearance of a 20-ish John Connor, to all of the above.  In short, it sounds like another jumbled mess, which is unfair for me to say since it doesn’t even have a script.  The casting rumors, though, don’t give me hope: Emilia Clarke (Daenerys from Game of Thrones), Margot Robbie (The Wolf of Wall Street, uncanny combination of Lena Headey and Jamie Pressly), and Brie Larson (The United States of Tara).

What do these actresses have in common?  All young, all hot.  That’s awesome for the eyeballs, but worrisome because it indicates the studios are aiming for a young, hot Sarah Connor.  Nothing wrong with that on the surface, but given the suckitude of the last two Terminator movies, seems like T5 is going the wrong direction.  Sarah Connor is supposed to be a rather plain and unremarkable waitress forced to become a hard-nosed, bad-ass, super-ripped, self-trained warrior who has the future of humanity in her hands (and womb), not some gorgeous prom queen with smoky eyes.  It almost sounds like the lesson learned by studios isn’t “let’s get back to what worked with the original,” but “let’s subtitle this one Terminator 5: Pretty Little Hunger Gaming Vampire Sparklers.”  If they get Jamie Campbell Bower for John Connor, I’m tapping out.

I know I know, I’m hyperventilating about a movie that won’t come out for another 18 months and that doesn’t even have a plot, script, or cast yet.  It’s not fair to think that any of the aforementioned actresses can’t be young and hot AND good in the role of Sarah Connor.  Maybe Orci & Kurtzman or some other crack writing team will pen a truly original and immersive script.  But can we be honest and say that early signs look to be more of the same?  The original Terminator boasted an innovative plot and characters that still hold up today.  T5 probably won’t give us that.  But like a UK football fan, all I’m asking is for something I can watch and enjoy again