The Bruce Pearl Diaries

Thanks to an undisclosed women's basketball team assistant, I was able to once more take a look at Bruce Pearl's diary, his most prized possession (aside from his Weird Al Yankovic CD collection). Enjoy!

March 3, 2011 Dear Diary, I must admit, I’m feeling a little down tonight. Sure, my team just beat South Carolina, and that’s great and all, but I just got done watching the new Jersey Shore, and man was it depressing. Why was Vinny so mean to Snooki? Doesn’t he know they’re meant to be? I really need to sort out my feelings about this in my fanfiction later tonight… A lot has happened since my last entry, diary. Tennessee received its notice of allegations from the NCAA. Seriously, don’t they understand that boys just wanna have fun? What coc--sorry, "shot blockers." Ugh, I forgot that I’m supposed to be PC and all now. Where’s the fun in that? Thanks, Hambone. Anyways, it looks like I’ve got a couple more months of freedom left until the hammer falls. And I plan on livin'. L-I-V-I-N. Don’t worry, diary, no barbeques, heh. But I really need to take advantage of my platinum membership to Déjà Vu in case they make me leave Knoxville. Besides, what happens in the club stays in the club, right? I wonder if it’s rude to ask for my last pay check in singles… So I guess the next “big thing” around here is Sunday’s game against Kentucky. The pregame crap has already started. Seriously, I’m not sure how many more “Kentucky is a great team”s and “Cal’s a great coach”s I can spit out. That’s more BS than I fed the NCAA. I hate Kentucky and their fans, especially those who sat behind our bench in Lexington. Classless jerks. I had to stop Brandy from getting all hellfire and brimstone on them. Speaking of Brandy, she’s not taking this NCAA stuff so well. Even though I’ve tried to explain it to her several times, she’s convinced I’m going to the “NCAA jail” in June. She’s knitting a “Shroud of Pearlin” afghan for me to take to keep warm. Women, I swear…sometimes I wonder why I invited her on S.S. Pearl to begin with. I'd be lying (lol) if I said I wasn't worried about Sunday. The team is tired...too many late nights. Scotty's more concerned about his hair than his game; Renaldo has basically checked out (if I have to hear that Swiperboy crap one more time...); Williams continues to eat his feelings; hell, apparently even Smokey has fleas. Hopefully the team will rally for Bruce Pearl Day--I mean, "Senior Day"...right, like these guys mean as much to this program as I do. Have they ever wept on television or done shots with Charlie Sheen? I don't think so. Winning! Okay, off to bed. Hopefully I won't dream about Jodie Meeks again tonight... xoxo, Bruce