The KSR Dossier: University of Louisiana-Lafayette

  With the UK Football debut at Commonwealth this weekend, we’ll greet the mighty Ragin’ Cajuns of University of Louisiana-Lafayette — not one of our typical opponents. But what do we REALLY know about these foes from the South? Let’s educate ourselves, shall we? We shall.

They’re ragin’.

Prior to the 1960’s UL-Lafayette sports teams were collectively known as “The Bulldogs” until a sports writer for the Crowley Post-Signal penned a column nicknaming the affable school “The Pleasantly Approachable Cajuns.” The milquetoast label angered program heads, who promptly fired off an infuriated letter to the writer and requested that the moniker be changed to the “Dismayin’ Cajuns.” A difference was eventually split to refer to the team as “Ragin’.” Things which enrage the Cajuns include but are not limited to: Long lines Telemarketers Poor drivers Opposing Football Teams When people say they’re going to meet you somewhere, then don’t

The football roster is filled with good Louisiana-boy names.

Names like Cole Prudhomme, Kevin Fouquier, Chaiziere Malbrue and Cole Bourque. Their defensive line consists of a bunch of Creole-accented cartoon alligators and most of the cast of the Nintendo game The Adventures of Bayou Billy.

The UL-Lafayette mascot, Cayenne, was created in a laboratory and cannot be stopped.

A horrifying science experiment gone horribly awry, he is believed to be responsible for the disappearances of over thirty students from the university over the past two years alone. The entire reason UL-Lafayette has a football season at all is solely to lure him to a stadium in hopes of capturing and finally killing him but each year he manages to elude his captors.

As built into UL-Lafayette’s contract, there will be a brief break in the third quarter for their players to take out their trumpets and dance around playing jazz music.

This is a regular occurrence in Louisiana and, as such, Mitch Barnhart’s hands are tied to adhere to it. This fais do-do is not to exceed seven-and-a-half minutes. Every second over this limit will be deducted from UL-Lafayette’s next possession game clock.

The entire football team travels by airboat or, if all airboats are in use, tugboat.

As part of the 1898 UL-Lafayette university charter, “all those to whom travel is an apparency are approved to employ the great city of Lafayette’s robust history of maritime achievements.” The team will moor on the banks of the Kentucky River and travel on foot to the Stadium Saturday morning.

The UL-Lafayette fight song was recently changed. The current incarnation is this:

Fight on, Cajuns, fight on to victory For the Red and White, We will sing of triumph and glory, For our team tonight, You will hear the rage of the Cajuns, So let’s give a yell, (AHH-YEE) Hustle up and bustle up and Fight on to victory — GEAUX U L! It was recently changed from the previous fight song, originally written in the early 1900’s, which was: Dey ‘gon fight, dese Cajuns Gon’ eat a shrimp An’ go in to da swamp For to get a potion for my voodoo An’ when I get da sportball I gon’ make it a point for my team (AH-YEE) So don’ you gon’ talk ‘bout my Paw-Paw Poo-ye-yi! I'm gon' smack you in dat mouf! The student body largely prefers the current fight song over the previous one. PLEASE NOTE: The singing of the fight song can summon Cayenne to come murder you. Please remain vigilant.