The Walking Dead: I Walk 'Alone'

Well only a month too late and The Walking Dead gives us a special Valentine's Day episode! Girl, I'mma treat you right with this Diet Soda, some PBJs and this here bottle of pickled Pig's feet. That's a crossbow bolt to the heart straight from Redneck Cupid. This episode was a bit faster than last week which is not much of an accomplishment after all. Everyone seems to be inching towards Terminus and 'Sanctuary', which is probably happening in the finale, right? Until then, Bob's no longer alone and Daryl seems to have himself a new runnin' crew. Much like South Park's version of Family Guy, I feel like the writer's on this show have a very limited set of idea balls that have things written on them like "Barricade in Building", "Talk About Fear", "There's Still Good in the World (Greene Family Only)", "Kill Walkers With A Viciousness That Indicates You're Really Mad About Something Else And Are Taking It Out On The Walker, Who's Just Doing What Walkers Do." At least there was more gore in this episode because that seems to be one of the more interesting aspects and these effects people are really good at their job. The sign Maggie was wielding was a pretty awesome weapon. SPOILERS AHEAD. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 'ALONE', THE 13TH EPISODE OF SEASON 4, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! At first I thought that Bob was alone with both Sasha and Maggie dead, and that he was drinking again. I was already debating whether or not the cough sizzurp he was sippin' counted as an alcohol, but turned out that everything in the teaser was a flashback to when Bob had been 'Alone.' He seemed to listlessly do pretty well for himself actually. After wondering around the woods, setting up Predator-like traps for walkers, he runs across Glenn and Daryl who invite him to the prison. We all know how that turned out. But Bob is happy, as he tells us often in this episode, because he's no longer alone. When we pick up with him, Maggie and Sasha they're being attacked by walkers in the fog and Bob is bit, but only on his bandage. This starts two episode long story lines. First, Bob and Sasha are still becoming a thing. His carefree "I'm Not Alone" bit is awful flirtatious and Sasha seems to be diggin' it a bit. Second is the "should we stay or should we go now" debate on whether or not to head to Sanctuary. Maggie says yes because that's where she knows Glenn would go. Sasha says no because she's afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of knowing. There. I just wrote a scene for next week's episode, with whichever characters it happens to feature.

Switch over to the most emo romance any show has to offer. Quiet crossbowman and foppish badass Daryl is developing quite the thing for the annoying, newly minted alcoholic Beth. Trekking along, he is teaching her how to track which she is, no doubt, picking up very quickly! These be walker tracks! When she is, of course, injured by a trap of some sort, Daryl saves the day and it's time for a piggyback ride. When they find a pristine funeral home, clean and stocked with supplies that's just gravy on the cake. Inside they find food (the aforementioned romantic meal of PBJ + PPF), a comfy coffin to sleep in, and a piano to play so that Beth can continue her caterwauling of indie songs. Beth takes all of this as proof that there are still good people in the world. She thinks that the funeral home and the painted up corpses within are 'beautiful' because it reminds everyone that they used to be human. When a dog shows up and then runs away, they assume it's a friendly stray and go about their budding romance. I doubt there is such a thing as a friendly stray in The Walking Dead. Dog was definitely just letting whomever get a look at who had invaded their stash. So when a bunch of walkers are released towards the house and Beth is kidnapped by someone in what looked like a LeBaron, was anyone surprised?

Daryl runs after the car that has apparently kidnapped Beth, and he keeps running. Dude, if you're going to run and run and run, wouldn't you want to take off your leather first? After running what looks to be all night, Daryl collapses in the middle of an intersection. He's found by, what I'm assuming, is the biker gang from the house with Rick. They're led by a guy named Joe who has an awesome shirt. They convince Daryl to go with them because anything else would be suicide. Needless to say, I'm sure that these guys are trouble. In the other group Maggie has, rather predictably broken off from the group to go out and hunt for Glenn on her own. She stops at each 'Sanctuary' sign and leaves a message for Glenn in walker blood. Bob and Sasha, meanwhile, follow her while continuing the endless argument about whether they should stop and fortify or keep going and see what Terminus has to offer. When they reach the next small town, Sasha want's to hole up in the second story of a warehouse and Bob wants to keep going and follow Maggie along the tracks. Having reached an impasse, Bob pulls out the old Smackeroonies card. That doesn't seem to work as well as he'd hoped and he continues along the tracks leaving Sasha to barricade herself in. Reaching the second floor, Sasha starts to break down when she sees Maggie sleeping amongst some walkers in the parking lot below. She accidentally knocks out the window and they have to fight a bunch of walkers, Maggie using that sweet sign to decapitate several. The walkers dispensed of, they hug it out, Maggie admits she needs help, Sasha admits she's afraid, yadda, yadda, yadda. They catch up with Bob and THEY all hug it out and head towards Terminus. There it is. Another one down in the slow slog towards what are always entertaining finales. As if the Walking Dead were chess, I suppose the writers seem to take the first seven episodes to set up the pieces and then let them come to terms in the finales. Are any of you enjoying this more than I am? Does it seem like this is ground we've tread many times over? Is there a way in which this can become interesting again? Let me know what you think here or on twitter @KalanKucera On to prop bets! I'm going to watch it again to make sure I got this right, and feel free to leave a comment if I missed something, but by my count (this episode in bold): Total Walker Kills (This Week - Total): 29 - 110 Blade Kills/Gun Kills (This Week - Total): 4/3 - 42/29 Michonne Katana Kills/Daryl Crossbow Kills (This Week - Total): 0/4* - 25/7 *I'm only counting bolts shot from the crossbow, not Daryl stabbing with the bolts. Mentions of Shane/Lori/Governor (This Week - Total): 0/0/0 - 3/3/5 Carl Walker Kills: 4 Rick Human Kills: 1 (Again, I'm counting all of the personal pronouns when referring to any of these three.) Rick and Beth won't be together because Beth and Daryl... (1 pt) Carol is back! (1 pt) Judith is back, and alive! (1 pt) Lizzie is our Dissector! (1 pt) Talking Dead Guests (This Season): Lauren Cohan (Maggie), Sonequa Martin-Green (Sasha), Norman Reedus (Daryl), Emily Kinney (Beth Greene), Michael Cudlitz (Sgt. Abraham Ford), Alanna Masterson (Tara), Greg Nicotero, Danai Gurira (Michonne) Here we are, our current leaders (Four people tied for first with 9):