You Ordered Steak, but You're Getting Pony

Matt is away this weekend and has asked me to provide information to the loyal readership. Since I have no real insight into anything at all, the following will merely recap the week that was and will supply you with absolutely zero (0) recruiting information. We here at KSR generally write about those things related to Kentucky sports, but this is the off-season, and frankly, not much is happening. Therefore, I have decided to expand the scope and give news from around the globe. State-wide: Some may have missed it, but Rick Pitino was back in the national news this week as former Pitino assistant (while at Louisville, so we don’t have to like him), Reggie Theus was hired as head coach of the Sacramento Kings. While some will argue that a coach who guided New Mexico State (New Mexico State?) to a WAC (seriously, the WAC?) championship this past season lacks the qualifications to take on an NBA top job, the interesting part of the story for me was this tidbit found in the ESPN article announcing the hiring. “Theus said that Pitino and his college coach, UNLV's Jerry Tarkanian, whom he played for from 1976-78, called Petrie on his behalf.” Now maybe I’m reading in to things, but it would appear that Ricky P still carries some weight in the basketball world. He has advised, made calls for, etc. for both Theus and Donovan in recent weeks and has found a way to work himself into articles. Pitino loves attention like Comedy Central loves “Zoolander”. State-wide: Lexington native and Lafayette grad, Tyson Gay, impressed in Indianapolis this week at the USA Track and Field Championship, breaking the meet record time in the 100 meters, destroying the rest of the field, and equaling the fastest time every run on American soil. That’s all good, but Bengal Chad Johnson outran a horse. Your move, Mr. Gay. Regional: David Hobbs and former Auburn Coach Cliff Ellis are finalists for the Coastal Carolina job vacated by Buzz Peterson in the last week. Apparently, Coastal Carolina is conducting their search solely in the Southeastern Conference, and in the year 1996. World: It has been confirmed: Eddie Murphy is the father of Scary Spice’s baby. National: I watched the movie “Breach” last night. After “The Good Sheperd” I thought I had had enough spy movies for a while. However, “Breech” (based on a true story) moves along at quick pace and you get stellar acting from Chris Cooper and Laura Linney and Ryan Phillipe is actually believable in his role. Personally, I don’t understand why Laura Linney doesn’t have a better reputation as an actor than she has. She’s good in everything. World: A new champion has been named in the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest. His name is Elwood. National: “According to Jim” is still in production. Can someone please tell me of one human person that watches this show? Canada (no one in the US cares about hockey): Don’t make too much fun of Tim Floyd for recruiting the 14-year-old, the NHL recently drafted what appears to be a 12-year old #1 overall. Extremely local: Hyden Citizens Bank has put a new clock up on Main Street in Hyden. It is digital and bigger than the old one. That’s it. That’s the list. There was no other news this week. If you take this information and work it into your everyday office conversation, you will appear well-read and up-to-date. No need to thank me, the satisfaction I derive from the very generous salary Matt gives me (300K/year) is thanks enough.