Musings from Arledge: A sad start, an encouraging end

Northwestern is a real football team.  No, they’re not a great football team; but they’re disciplined, physical, and they play good defense just about every week. They were giving up around 16 points per game, and they had been very good about not giving up big plays. Or much else, really. They shut out Purdue, held Penn State and Nebraska under 300 yards total offense, and they really had not been gashed by any offense all year. Even Oregon only had 373 total yards against them.  

USC’s offense shredded them.  The Trojans moved the ball at will in the air, and after a slow start, King Miller did King Miller things: 15 carries for 127 yards and a touchdown and, of course, another long run. Only Forrest Gump has more big plays than King Miller, who doesn’t have elite top-end speed, but is decisive and quick through the hole and has been running with much more physicality as of late. Miller is turning into a first ballot walk-on Hall of Famer. If you don’t love that guy, stop reading this article immediately and never return to this website. Your services are no longer needed.

The passing game was outstanding. The big two receivers looked elite again, and they had plenty of help with the tight ends and the rest of the surrounding cast. The only hiccup was when Jayden Maiava threw an ugly pick on a screen just to—hear me out on this—physically abuse a big defensive lineman to let everybody know what happens from this point forward if you pick him off. This was all about sending a message. I swear I could hear Maiava, in a thick Italian accent, telling Northwestern’s defensive lineman as he chased him down, “I’m funny how? I mean funny like a clown, I amuse you?”  

And I could hear all of this from two-thirds up the Coliseum because one immutable rule of the universe is that USC fans will not show up before the third quarter for a Friday night game. And, look, I take shots at our fan base all the time, but being that you could get off work downtown at 5:00 and still not travel five miles to the Coliseum and get in your seat on time, I’m going to have to extend some grace here. If the conference and the TV networks are going to insist on playing Friday night games at the Coliseum, it just is what it is.  

At least the conference did us right and didn’t give USC a game where they can’t possibly have a home-field advantage on a short week against an opponent that had a bye to prepare.  

The bottom line is that this offense really is starting to look like the offenses we expected Lincoln Riley to bring to USC. The Trojans are balanced and explosive. They’re able to move the ball against anybody if they avoid mistakes, and statistically they are simply one of the best offenses in the country. Especially at the Coliseum, I expect them to play well, move the ball, and score points.   

Speaking of expected, there are some other things that, if not immutable laws of the universe, are at least very strong scientific theories with substantial empirical support. Like this for instance: USC’s defense will come out looking like garbage. No, it doesn’t happen every single week. But pretty close. USC gives up a touchdown on its first defensive series just about every game. I will go on record right now saying that I do not like this.

And let’s talk about why it happens. It happens because USC’s base defense involves linebackers that stand back and read forever instead of playing downhill. It’s the most bookwormy set of linebackers I’ve ever seen. It’s basically a library* in the second level in the base defense. Shh! Quiet please. The linebackers stand and read until they catch a 300-pound dude right in the grill.  

USC’s base defense also involves a whole lot of corners giving enormous cushions. And USC’s defensive front is just not what everybody expected it to be—it’s not what the USC coaches told us it would be—and therefore they cannot rely on unblockable guys up front disrupting the run game or getting to the quarterback consistently rushing only four. They’re actually going to have to rely on the back seven to play competently.

*For trolling Oregon fans, a library is a big building with lots of books. People go there to read things and learn things.  But that’s not important right now.

It seems that every running back USC plays goes for over 100, often getting the bulk of that in the first half. I don’t think it even matters who’s on the other side. If next Saturday, I stopped by my law office in Century City and grabbed 10 legal assistants, lawyers, and paralegals at random to play with me, I could rush for 60 against that defense in the first half. I would then die of exhaustion, fully vindicated.

Fortunately, D’Anton Lynn has made adjustments the last two weeks to force his linebackers to play downhill—it works remarkably well—and he’s trusted his secondary to do its job instead of being scared they’ll get beat deep, and they’re responding. The secondary is actually playing solid football these days.

I honestly don’t know whether to praise D’Anton Lynn for his adjustments the last two weeks or scream at him for walking out there early and pretending that doing what comes naturally in the base defense will work. I’d probably do both like one of those scorned women in a Lifetime made-for-TV movie, alternating between hugging him and scream-crying hysterically at him as I repeatedly punch him in the chest.  

Look, D’Anton, you have to know your guys by now. If you think your linebacking corps will play downhill and stop the run in the base defense reading the usual keys, you’re going to be very disappointed. Worse, I’m going to be very disappointed and use language I shouldn’t. You have to force them to play downhill at gunpoint through scheme. Do that and these guys can make some plays. Don’t do that, and the defense will continue to start games in embarrassing fashion.

And those first two Northwestern drives were just sad. Northwestern is good defensively, but they’re crappy on offense. Letting that group march right down the field twice in a row and put up 150 yards and eight yards per carry in two drives is just … yuck. That’s UCLA-level stuff, D’Anton, and I’d like you to check the color of your shirt next week before exiting the locker room.  It’s not powder blue any more. We have standards around here.

That said, the next seven Northwestern drives resulted in 36 plays for 145 yards, almost no rushing production, four punts, a fumble, a turnover on downs, and only three points. That is exactly what USC’s defense should do to a crappy Northwestern offense at the Coliseum. That’s good coaching and good effort by the defense. I just don’t know why we had to watch the first two series before tightening the screws. It’s not like Northwestern tricked everybody by coming out in the Run n’ Shoot or the wishbone. Wait, what’s this!? Northwestern is trying a game plan that no offense has ever tried before!  It will take a quarter and a half to adjust to this!  

No. They just handed the ball off to the tailback and threw short passes, which is what they always do.  

Two weeks in a row, USC’s defensive staff and players deserve real credit for completely shutting down in the second half two offenses that they really should shut down. That’s fantastic. But USC has enormous games coming up the next two Saturdays—two program-defining games that determine whether USC gets into the college football playoff. You cannot take off the first quarter and a half defensively against Iowa and Oregon and expect to win. And if that’s what you’re going to do, please let us know. I’ll mute the TV for the first quarter and a half and punch the couch cushions like Rocky working a side of beef until I just can’t punch anymore. It’s the only way I can stay sane.

(Yes, I’ll probably watch on TV. I might make the Iowa game in person, but there’s no way I’m going to Eugene.  I just don’t think it’s safe for me there. I’d need to go in disguise and not say out loud any of the things I’m thinking about all the green-clad kooks and criminals around me. I’d probably get hit on the back of the head and wake up the next day chained to an industrial machine and six Chinese twelve year olds in one of Phil Knight’s slave factories. It’s just too dangerous. I need to identify and train a Musings heir before even thinking about doing something so reckless.)

Sometimes I talk technical football stuff in Musings; sometimes I talk nonsense. This will be a nonsense day. My eyes are too old to see details when I’m watching in person, so that means I have suspicions and big-picture conclusions and not much else. As Clay used to say, I need to check the film. As Clay also used to say—at least I think he did, quietly, to himself—that sounds like too much work right now. Maybe I’ll check the film later and talk technical football on Inside the Trojans Huddle. Maybe I’ll just needle Marc Kulkin for an hour. It’s too early to know. 

What we can say with certainty is that USC is 7-2, is much improved over last year, and has put itself in a position to play three very big games in November. Yes, I’d really like to get a mulligan on the Foster Farms Alleged Bad Chicken Game™ in Champaign. Just one stop by the defense and USC would be sitting in a very strong position today. Still, there’s a shot to do some special things, the team is better than a year ago, the talent is better than a year ago, and there is a super class of blue chips on the way. 

Things are not perfect; I will complain and I will be justified in doing so. But things are also looking up. You know that because people want to start rumors about Lincoln Riley leaving for other jobs. If USC were losing, the rumors would be about Lincoln Riley getting fired.

Well, I have a rumor for you. USC is about to beat Iowa and set up the biggest USC game in some time. I’m equal parts excited and scared to death just thinking about it. But who knows. If the Americans can beat the Soviets in hockey, if Broadway Joe can take down the Colts, if Balboa can go the distance with Creed, then maybe, just maybe, USC can play a complete game on the road and beat the Ducks in Autzen. I wouldn’t bet the mortgage payment on it, you group of degenerates, but stranger things have happened. Might as well play it out.