The sad thing is that at this point you could just say Vince did some random horrible thing ChatGPT makes up and it’d probably be believable
CI Wrestling Thread #56
- Thread starter CrimeDawg18
- Start date
THE GREAT SLOP SCANDAL OF STAMFORD
It all started on a humid Tuesday morning at WWE Headquarters.
Vince McMahon burst through the doors of the creative conference room like a man possessed, eyes wild, suit jacket billowing behind him.
“DAMMIT, PEOPLE,” he barked, slamming a massive binder labeled Q3 SYNERGY INITIATIVE on the table. “The mid-card is flat! The fans want chaos! They want spectacle! They want—”
He paused dramatically, as if waiting for a wind machine to kick in.
“—SLOP.”
Across the table, Tori blinked. “Sir… slop? As in… the Godwinns’ slop?”
“YES!” Vince shouted. “Bring back the slop bucket! But BIGGER. More dramatic. More… cinematic.”
Before anyone could object, the door creaked open and in shuffled Henry O. Godwinn and Phineas I. Godwinn, wearing overalls, boots, and expressions of deep suspicion.
Henry scratched his chin. “You rang, boss?”
Phineas nodded eagerly. “We heard ya need sloppin’.”
Vince clasped his hands together like a delighted supervillain.
“Gentlemen—welcome. We are planning the single greatest backstage segment in company history. And Tori here—”
He gestured grandly.
Tori raised an eyebrow. “I’m… involved? Since when?”
“Since RIGHT NOW,” Vince declared. “In this segment, the Godwinns run a high-stakes, secret slop-smuggling operation in the basement of the arena. Tori discovers the truth. Drama ensues. The crowd goes WILD.”
Henry looked concerned. “Uh, Vince… you sure that’s… uh… dignified?”
“Oh, Henry,” Vince chuckled. “Dignity is optional. Ratings are not.”
It all started on a humid Tuesday morning at WWE Headquarters.
Vince McMahon burst through the doors of the creative conference room like a man possessed, eyes wild, suit jacket billowing behind him.
“DAMMIT, PEOPLE,” he barked, slamming a massive binder labeled Q3 SYNERGY INITIATIVE on the table. “The mid-card is flat! The fans want chaos! They want spectacle! They want—”
He paused dramatically, as if waiting for a wind machine to kick in.
“—SLOP.”
Across the table, Tori blinked. “Sir… slop? As in… the Godwinns’ slop?”
“YES!” Vince shouted. “Bring back the slop bucket! But BIGGER. More dramatic. More… cinematic.”
Before anyone could object, the door creaked open and in shuffled Henry O. Godwinn and Phineas I. Godwinn, wearing overalls, boots, and expressions of deep suspicion.
Henry scratched his chin. “You rang, boss?”
Phineas nodded eagerly. “We heard ya need sloppin’.”
Vince clasped his hands together like a delighted supervillain.
“Gentlemen—welcome. We are planning the single greatest backstage segment in company history. And Tori here—”
He gestured grandly.
Tori raised an eyebrow. “I’m… involved? Since when?”
“Since RIGHT NOW,” Vince declared. “In this segment, the Godwinns run a high-stakes, secret slop-smuggling operation in the basement of the arena. Tori discovers the truth. Drama ensues. The crowd goes WILD.”
Henry looked concerned. “Uh, Vince… you sure that’s… uh… dignified?”
“Oh, Henry,” Vince chuckled. “Dignity is optional. Ratings are not.”
I caught on pretty fast but their initials were HOG and PIG
Bret has to be one of the most bitter people in the world. Maybe he’s just playing the role to make money, but he seems to TRULY be miserable. Sucks to live his life that way, but he is the one choosing to do it, so I don’t feel sorry for him.
I'd be bitter too if Goldberg followed me around kicking me in the head wherever I go. Just trying to pick out a toy from my granddaughter and *BOOM*
What in earth. Bret is in that old man “I don’t care anymore, I’ll say anything” phase of his life now I see.
You see him basically say in an interview this weekend he hates all wrestling after the 90s and the only thing he likes watching now is his own matches? What a miserable ****.
He’s every bit as bad if not worse than all these old head NBA guys that just constantly crap on the modern game while talking about how they would be unguardable when their team was struggling to score like it was a Tony Bennett UVA team.
He’s way more of a narcissist than we thought
Oh, forgot to mention from the other night, looked like swerve put on 20 lbs of muscle in the few months he’s been out. Must have found a good supplier of the gas!
He used to at least have a little something nice to say from time to time about something currently happening or a current wrestler, now it’s just verbal diarrhea on seemingly everything.
Like calling today’s wrestling too fake. You wrestled during the era of the dead man Undertaker for crying out loud. Not that I’m hating on the Taker’s gimmick because it was unquestionably great, but nothing about that is realistic.
AJ is still my favorite recent blow up. It looked like he put on 40 lbs!
And I love AJ so I’m not being an ******* towards him, but that was dramatic!
Ospreay and Fletcher used to be tooth picks that made Yuta and Garcia looked jacked in comparison.
ESPN’s 2025 Top 30 Professional Wrestlers Under 30:
1. Dominik Mysterio
2. Kyle Fletcher
3. Rhea Ripley
4. MJF
5. Tiffany Stratton
6. Bron Breakker
7. Blake Monroe
8. Oba Femi
9. Roxanne Perez
10. Leon Slater
11. Je’Von Evans
12. El Hijo del Vikingo
13. Kaito Kiyomiya
14. Gabe Kidd
15. Lyra Valkyria
16. Sareee
17. Saya Kamitani
18. Mascara Dorada 2.0
19. Sol Ruca
20. Jordynne Grace
21. Daniel Garcia
22. Jack Perry
23. Hook
24. Megan Bayne
25. Starlight Kid
26. Kevin Knight
27. Axiom
28. Kelani Jordan
29. Shota Umino
30. Atlantis Jr.
1. Dominik Mysterio
2. Kyle Fletcher
3. Rhea Ripley
4. MJF
5. Tiffany Stratton
6. Bron Breakker
7. Blake Monroe
8. Oba Femi
9. Roxanne Perez
10. Leon Slater
11. Je’Von Evans
12. El Hijo del Vikingo
13. Kaito Kiyomiya
14. Gabe Kidd
15. Lyra Valkyria
16. Sareee
17. Saya Kamitani
18. Mascara Dorada 2.0
19. Sol Ruca
20. Jordynne Grace
21. Daniel Garcia
22. Jack Perry
23. Hook
24. Megan Bayne
25. Starlight Kid
26. Kevin Knight
27. Axiom
28. Kelani Jordan
29. Shota Umino
30. Atlantis Jr.
TK said no designated pin eaters in the C2 this year. Worst wrestler in the field being like Kevin Knight or Speedball is insane
Yeah, fletcher gained what looks like 50 lbs in a year. It is amazing how good steroids are now.
Pent got injured in his match and they called it early? I don’t know man, sounds like WWE should dial it back a bit
Stealing this from socials - The Brockmaster
Also, why in God’s name is WWE doing midget humor in 2025, did Vince get a guest booking spot or something?
Austin Theory was ranked 15th on this list last year, and 3rd on the list in 2023. Didn't even make the list this year. Poor guy fell off a cliff post-Vince. I agree that he was over-pushed under Vince, but he has been severely under-pushed by HHH despite his obvious talent and charisma. Will WWE re-build him? Or just release him?
Probably because it’s funny as shiit. Like a fart. Won’t ever not be awesome and funny.
They have to further the angle without Cena doing an appearance so they did an imposter. Happens all the time like when page dresses up as schivone.
Tried watching NXT tonight. Three straight women's matches. Who is this for? I want to be interested, but come on now.