Complete the Spartan Limerick!

[RUforester72]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance

A sad circumstance

……………………………………………………

 

[ClassOf02v.2]

…..and he’ll live out his days as a trucker!

The f***** ending would have been too obvious.

 

[mdk02]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance
And she said no chance
A sad circumstance indeed

……………………………………………………

Edited

 

[DJ Spanky]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!
His colleague thought him a sucker
But he made an advance
A sad circumstance

And his team got its *** kicked by Rutgers!

 

[RutHut_rivals]

...all while listening to Darius Rucker?

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

..He just wanted to kiss and hug her



limericks can be sung to Cielito lindo

Ay, ay, ay, ay,
Canta y no llores,
Porque cantando se alegran,
Cielito lindo, los corazones.

Waltz me around again Willie generally called a "rugby song".. produced some especially foul lyrics back in the day. When I see limericks like in this thread.. that tune rolls through my head. Totally toxic male stuff.. but fun.

 

[DJ Spanky]

Waltz me around again Willie generally called a "rugby song".. produced some especially foul lyrics back in the day. When I see limericks like in this thread.. that tune rolls through my head.

That sounds more like John Valby aka Dr. Dirty.

 

[ClassOf02v.2]

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

That sounds more like John Valby aka Dr. Dirty.

May be.. but he didn't invent it. Popularized it I guess. Had some great lyrics. Would link a video but def NSFW.

 

[DJ Spanky]

... but def NSFW.

You got that right!!!

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

The Limerick Song goes back to turn of the century (1900ish)... apparently recorded in 1905 and 1931 using the Mexican tune which goes back to the 1880s.

 

[Knight Shift]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance

A sad circumstance

……………………………………………………

His admission made his bosses pucker

 

[AreYouNUTS]

May be.. but he didn't invent it. Popularized it I guess. Had some great lyrics. Would link a video but def NSFW.

You got that right!!!

I got this!!! (NO DIRTY WORDS, I SWEAR!!!)

There once was a long gent from Kent
Whose rod was so long that it bent
To keep outta trouble, he put it in double'
...and instead of coming, HE WENT!!

Aye, ya ya ya
YouR mother gives hummers to plumbers
So sing us another verse that's worse than the other virse
And waltz me around by my willy!!!

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

Here's to the ex-Spartan Mel
how to behave, he could not tell
late, he would ring, of his need he would sing,
but he mistook what it was she did sell

Aye, ya ya ya
Your head coach spanked it to Ma Bell
So sing us another verse that's worse than the other verse
And waltz me around by my willy!!!

 

[AreYouNUTS]

Okay here's my submission:

There once was not a friar named Tuck
Who picked the wrong lady to ****
But he chopped it to hard
And on phone was caught of guard

...so now he sits home like a CUCK!!!

 

[Antnee79]

And lost 51 million buckers!

 

[Antnee79]

There once was a coach for ol‘ State
Whose sex drive was hard to abate
At night while alone
He had sex on the phone
Losing 51 million was his fate

 

[ScarletDog]

He's worse than a Ne-braska Husker.

 

[ScarletDog]

And he got caught choking his clucker.

 

[JC_in128]

ah, the limerick song. Brings back old memories of playing rugby back in college and all the rugby songs sung at the post game parties. Too much fun in the day.

 

[GoodOl'Rutgers]

ah, the limerick song. Brings back old memories of playing rugby back in college and all the rugby songs sung at the post game parties. Too much fun in the day.

Can you imagine footage of some politicians having sung those songs? "

Reporter: "Sir, do you regret saying, and I quote: I wish all young girls were like strawberry sundaes"
Politician: "What?! I never said any such thing!"
**then it hits him.. that song.. that damned song**
Reporter: "Do we have the clip? Roll the clip"

 

[RutHut_rivals]

And lost 51 million buckers!

Only clams he gets now are to shucker?

 

[hoquat63]

There was a coach of the Spartan
Who had an enormous hard on
Cause when he did phone her
He had quite a boner
And now he is seeking a pardon

 

[Bagarocks]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance

A sad circumstance

……………………………………………………

And lived out his life as a Wacker

 

[RUforester72]

Most folks here showing pretty restrained responses considering the obvious option!

 

[Knight Shift]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance

A sad circumstance

……………………………………………………

He should have just ducked her!

 

[ClassOf02v.2]

There once was a Spartan named Tucker!

His colleague thought him a sucker

But he made an advance

A sad circumstance

……………………………………………………

And now Mel will never f*** h***

(sorry, but it was calling for the obvious ending)