It's no Ryan's Steakhouse, but......
I've waited a long time for the chance to tell the board this story, and now is as good a time as any. In 2009 i took my coming-five-year-old twins to Disney against my better judgment. Never went as a child; never wanted to go. Since parenting is not about the parents, I relented and went. Another couple and their young son along with my sister-in-law went with us. My daughter has Down Syndrome, which presents its own issues, but we managed fine with her. We stayed at All-Star Movies, got the meal plan and fast pass, and they shuttled us to and from the airport. Kids had a ball and the dining was pretty good. However........
First day went fine. Second day went fine. Third day....not so fine. Third day was animal kingdom day and the breakfast buffet at whatever the restaurant is there. On the way to the park, on the bus, the PACKED bus, my daughter vomited. A WHOLE FREAKIN LOT of vomit. If you've never heard a kid with Down's vomit, check it out sometime. It's epic. I am horrified by doing anything that gets people's attention in public, so I'll let you guess what I'm feeling. The shuttle driver politely pointed out the receptacle and paper towels, and we went to wiping. It was futile, of course, as a near-five year old holds roughly 1.3 metric tons of vomit. We continued to the park (no choice) and unloaded in the lobby for cooler air. Futility again. However, the staff literally swarmed us with cool towels, mops, etc... My wife elected to go back to the room with her since she'd been to Disney before, and I stayed at the park.
The next day we reversed roles and I stayed in the room, choosing to have her checked out. Disney arranged to take us to their affiliated medical facility, at the time (not sure now) located about 30 minutes away by van. The doctor was very expensive (of course) but very practical and nice, and it was hard to complain with the ride there and back provided.
The next day was improvement day, as she got her appetite back and began to be herself again. She finally got to go back out the last day and night and had supper at a character meal (Snow White, I think) and really enjoyed it.
The final day was recovery day; no park for any of us, just stayed at the room in the pool, did laundry, etc...then in bed early, as our flight out was at 6:30 and Disney gets you there 1 1/2 hours early. Do the math. We all got to bed, fell asleep quickly, and then got abruptly woken up at 12 midnight by the soothing sounds of........
..........my son vomiting in the bed. As my wife and I awoke simultaneously, she takes him to the bathroom as I address the bed. Three minutes later, I hear my wife retching in the bathroom. No biggie; she HATES vomit and has a weak stomach....I figure she's just secondarily puking. I figured poorly. The next fifteen minutes were spent simultaneously comforting my son and trying not to ignore my wife. This cycle went on all night, at least until three am, which is the exact moment that DISNEY'S COURTESY WAKE UP CALL COMES IN THANK YOU VERY MUCH MICKEY MOUSE. We get everything together, load onto the bus that thankfully had a bathroom in the back, and I alternated between carrying my son to dry heave and sitting NEXT to the bathroom LISTENING to my wife dry heave.
Airport arrival. First order of business is to find my now-weak wife a wheelchair, which was remarkably easy. She sat and held my son, puke bag in hand for each, as we trudged through the terminal. Upon reaching security we discover that we can't find her driver's license (remember the night's chaos, mind you). With no other option, we wait in line, and thankfully a fairly nice lady waves us over to a separate area for chair-bound folks. My daughter stays with her auntee and I push my barfing cargo over to the other line. She asks for ID, I give her mine and tell her that we seem to have misplaced my wife's. No problem, she says, just sign these affidavits and fill out this info. Happens all the time. Yeah, I said, in the chaos of her and my son being sick last night..... SICK DID YOU SAY SICK SICK HOW OH MY THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.....
At this point, you should be reminded that at this time in 2009, in this exact week, in this exact city in this exact tourist attraction..... Swine flu had "broken" at Disney World. The agents IMMEDIATELY all put on masks and directed us to an area apart from where we were, safely hidden from view behind a freakin glass wall for everyone else to see. And oh crap did they see. I did not say a word about the other members of our party, for fear they'd be nabbed, too. After fairly intensive questioning, a rep from Northwest Airlines (the devil) walked over to investigate and promptly told my wife there was NO WAY we were going to make our flight. Wife bursts into tears. Finally, two very nice young fireman are called over (wife stops crying..go figure) and pronounces us safe to fly. Upon hearing this, prior jerk Northwest rep radios ahead to tell them to hold boarding, turns and asks how in shape I am, and begins to SPRINTPUSH my wife and child through Orlando International. With not-in-as-good-a-shape-as-you husband hauling thirty seven pieces of Samsonite. We make the plane, get settled, apologize to passengers closest to us for what is to come, and take off.
My poor son heaved about every fifteen minutes in between rough sleep all the way to Memphis. Upon arriving in local airspace, we are informed that due to the tower BEING STRUCK BY LIGHTNING GOOD COW WHAT'S NEXT we will have to circle. For an hour. In a plane.
We land...finally. My mother-in-law meets us and I choose to ride rather than drive due to utter exhaustion. As the full story is being relayed to her, I open my eyes to notice us come to a complete standstill on the interstate 5 minutes from my house. Wreck. Parking lot. More retching. In a closed vehicle. Thirty minutes later, we move and arrive home. Since Samsonite isn't self-unloading, I play dad and get the luggage out, thank my MIL, go inside and collapse on the couch, thanking God that my sister-in-law is the greatest nanny in the history of nannies. We're going back next year so my youngest child (1 1/2 at the time) can get sick and hurl all over the nice people from Utah headed to Animal Kingdom too. Yay family.
Disney was great to us; Animal Kingdom was awesome and my not sick the ENTIRE time kids loved it. I hate crowds but recommend it if you know when to go, like, say, not when there is a chance that a global infectious disease epidemic just MIGHT hit the park. Just load UP on pepto and Immodium. Trust me.
